The Keys to His Soul
by D4L3K
Summary: Despite all she lost, she taught them love’s true meaning and helped Prongs get the girl of his dreams...the werewolf to see into his soul and to love, but most of all, she opened the eyes of the love of her life and taught him the ultimate lesson of life
1. Pleading and Planning

The Keys to His Soul

"You want me to do what for you!" Rose asked incredulously. "Are you _insane_?"

James frowned at her, obviously more than a little offended. James Potter and his three best friends were sitting on either side of Rose Larkspur in the Charms classroom. James was seated on her right, Sirius Black on her left, Remus Lupin next to Sirius, and Peter Pettigrew next to Lupin. Her own two best friends were sitting across the room, giving her curious glances.

Rose could see Lily Evans, her best friend, looking at James with distaste written all over her pretty face. Lily's emerald green eyes shone with dislike. Melody Summers flipped her blond hair over her shoulder and turned her smoke blue gaze on Lupin.

"Please, Rose. You're the only one who can help us," handsome Sirius Black pleaded. He gave a faint smile, his dark brown eyes twinkling slightly.

Rose felt a twinge of annoyance. They had clearly planned this out well; first by isolating her from her friends and cornering her in the one N.E.W.T. class that she felt confident enough to not pay attention in, then by having Sirius use his looks to soften her up. The annoyance she felt was due mostly to the fact that it was working.

"Why should I help you?" Rose asked, trying for a different tactic as her curiosity got the best of her. James had had his eyes on Lily for a long time now, but Lily had always disliked him because she felt that he was too conceited, egotistical, and saw him to be a constant show-off, but Rose had noticed that James was mostly really a show-off when he saw Lily around.

"You're her best friend!" James exclaimed. He waved his wand. The ravens that they were supposed to be Disillusioning seemed to vanish as it blended in with its surroundings. Sirius got his spell right on the first try as well.

Rose waved her wand absentmindedly and her bird vanished, too. "You really like her? You're not just doing this just to prove you can?" Rose asked.

"Of course not!" James retorted indignantly.

"And you promise not to break her heart if this works?" Rose inquired.

"I swear I won't," he said firmly, his eyes filling with hope.

"I suppose I have no choice," Rose muttered. "Don't hurt Lily, James, or I swear I'll make your life a living hell."

"Thank you, Rose! You won't regret this!" James said with the enthusiasm of a little boy on Christmas day.

"Rose, you think you can meet us in the Common Room at midnight?" Sirius asked.

"Midnight," Rose repeated. "Why midnight?"

"It's the only time we'll have to talk freely," Sirius replied. "Anytime else will seem suspicious."

"Oh, and conspiring in the middle of the night is so inconspicuous," Rose said sarcastically.

"Rose, Lily and Melody can't find out! They're already curious enough!" Sirius pointed out.

"Gee, I wonder why," Rose muttered, upset about missing precious hours of wonderful sleep.

"Oh, come on!" Sirius pleaded. "Please? Pretty please with Chocolate Frogs and Sugar Quills on top?"

"Okay, okay," Rose sighed. _What am I getting myself into?_


	2. Clandestine Meeting

Rose was a good liar. It wasn't something she prided herself on, but it did come in handy sometimes. Lily was her best friend. Lying to her was hard. As she was walking out of the Charms classroom, Lily and Melody rushed to her side immediately. Sirius and his friends had left her with more trouble than they had inflicted upon her themselves. Rose had uttered the first lie that popped into her head.

"They wanted something like this," she stated before they could ask.

Rose pointed to her friendship bracelet. Lily and Melody both had one. Lily's was crimson, engraved with the golden letters, _Best_. Melody's was emerald, engraved with the word, _Friends_. Rose had the sapphire one that read, _Forever_. They were made by a master jeweler, Charles Lefebvre. They would shine for all of eternity. The charm that he had placed upon them would make sure that if anything happened to them, it would be known instantly. The bracelet of the wearer would be sent to Rose in an instant if something happened to Melody or Lily. If she was in no state to receive them, they would appear to her godfather; someone she did not know the identity of, but someone who was very powerful and respected in the wizarding world.

"They didn't want bracelets obviously, but something like it. But because Mr. Lefebvre passed away two years ago, it's just not possible." Charles Lefebvre had been an old friend of the family and a renowned jeweler. He had been so and eager to help make the bracelets when she had asked him almost six years earlier.

"These bracelets _are_ one of a kind," Lily agreed, though she did not look convinced by Rose's version of what they were really asking her for.

Rose replayed these scenes in her head as she crept out of the girls' dormitories at midnight. When she descended the last step into the Gryffindor Common Room, she was met by a soft glowing light.

"Rose!" Sirius greeted in a whisper. "See, James? I told you she'd come!" Sirius turned to Rose. "James here thought you weren't going to come." He grinned.

"Yeah, well," Rose said. She could hardly keep her eyes open. She flung herself into her favorite armchair and waited for one of them to speak.

"Do you have any suggestions as to how we should go about doing this?" James asked.

"Well, first of all, I think we should all agree not to tell anyone else about this," Rose said as she remembered Lily's suspicious look. Sirius and James nodded without hesitation. "What I've got to say is more along the lines of advice. Please don't take offense at my words?"

"Anything you can contribute, I'll be more than glad to take into consideration," James promised.

"Okay, just keep in mind that I am trying to help you here." Rose said.

"Fine," James replied impatiently. Rose took a deep breath and prayed that he wouldn't kill her.

"Okay, here's the deal. Lily thinks you are a conceited jerk who loves to show off and _act_ cool, all the while cursing and jinxing people whenever you need amusement, and she dislikes you very, very much," Rose said all in one breath.

"Ouch," Sirius whispered. They both saw the deep hurt in James Potter's eyes as it turned into anger.

Before either of them could say anything, Rose said, "Because it is Lily whom you are trying to impress, I suggest that you take my word for it that these are the problems we need to focus on."

"So," James said softly. "Do I really have these problems?" he asked, eyes glowing dangerously.

"Um, let's not make this too personal," Rose said carefully, avoiding Sirius's eyes.

"Since I'm going to be listening to most of your opinions and acting upon them, I think it's best if we do make this personal," James retorted.

Rose grimaced inwardly. "Okay…so-maybe-I-kind-of-agree-with-Lily." She said this as fast as she could.

"Kind of?" James asked, his dark eyes flashing.

Rose opened her mouth, but before she could utter a sound, Sirius spoke up. "James, mate, you were the one who asked Rose for help, remember?" James scowled at him in reply. "You could at least hear her out without biting her head off. She's up at midnight trying to help you with your _love life_ of all things, Prongs!" Sirius pointed out with a smile.

"Okay. Fine," James huffed. He slouched in defeat and turned to Rose. "I'm sorry for my outburst. Please go on."

Rose hid her surprise and amusement. Maybe this wouldn't be as hard as she thought. He was obviously desperate to get Lily to like him. "Since Lily dislikes you so much solely because of your… er… '_problems_', we might as well tackle them head on."

"And how do you suggest we do that?" Sirius asked. He was taking all of this quite seriously.

In answer, Rose looked at James. "Practice self control… deflate your head a bit. Stop cursing people just for the fun of it; try not to show off too much, _especially_ when you see Lily. A simple, 'Hey Lily' will be more than enough to get her attention, trust me," Rose said as she thought of all the stupid things James had done to try and win the pretty redhead's attention. "And call her Lily instead of Evans," Rose added as an afterthought.

James blinked. "Should I be writing this down?" Rose resisted the temptation to smile.

"Don't worry mate, I can remember it all… for the sole purpose of nagging at you, of course," Sirius said, grinning.

James ignored him. "Anything else?"

"I'll tell you when I see you make another appalling mistake," Rose assured him.

"Gee, I can hardly wait," James muttered. Rose stifled a yawn. She could already _see_ the dreams she would have.

"Well, if that's all for now, g'night!" She stood.

"Thanks, Rose!" whispered Sirius as he flashed her another smile.

As she ascended the stairs, she heard James say, "Do I really have _that_ many faults, Padfoot?"

"I'm beat. I think it's high time I got to bed too!" Sirius replied. He yawned loudly.

"Hey!" James called out. "You didn't answer my question!" Rose smiled to herself as she yawned again. This was definitely going to be interesting.


	3. Daily Deaths

Rose was in the Great Hall at breakfast without Lily. James went to sit by her. "Hey, Rose," he said softly.

"Oh, good morning, James!" Rose smiled as she looked up. "Lily's sick. She's in the dormitories, still sleeping," she informed him before he even opened his mouth to ask. She turned her attention back to her breakfast.

James frowned. "Is she okay?"

"James, don't worry so much. Lily's fine. She just won't be able to go to Hogsmeade today," Rose said. "You should get her some flowers or something. I suggest daisies. She'll like that." Rose smiled.

"Good idea." James started on his toast. The Great Hall filled with owls. Rose paid the screech owl and took the Daily Prophet it offered. He ate in silence, wondering where to get Lily some daisies.

"No!" she whispered suddenly.

"What's wrong?" James asked. Rose shook her head, apparently lost for words. She answered by handing him the Prophet and showing him an article on the front page.

_THREE DEATHS LEAD TO MOUNTING TERROR_

_The body of 38-year-old Brent Bailey was found inside his rampaged home last night. It is believed that this is the continuing work of Lord Voldemort's closest band of servants, the Death Eaters. Ministry officials say that Mr. Bailey was attacked by no less than three Death Eaters who tortured him before finally using the killing curse Avada Kedavra on him. (Continued on page 3)._

"Do you know him, Rose?" James asked as he studied her stricken face.

"Yes, he was a friend of the family. He always visited on weekends," Rose murmured. "Here it says three deaths… there must be more."

"It's not even a headliner… these deaths are so frequent now." James looked up as Sirius entered the Great Hall. He waved to him. Because James was sitting on Rose's left, Sirius took the seat on her right.

"Good morning," Sirius said brightly to both of them as he helped himself to some bacon and eggs.

Rose, who had just been about to drink her orange juice, dropped her goblet with a sharp gasp. Her face blanched and her beautiful blue eyes filled with tears. The white table cloth was stained orange, but Rose's horrified gaze never left the article on page three.

"Rose, what's wrong?" Sirius asked in alarm as he and James saw the first of her tears fall. People all around looked at them curiously. "Don't cry, Rose, everyone thinks we made you cry," Sirius joked weakly.

"Miss Larkspur," a soft said. It was Professor McGonagall, head of Gryffindor house. She put a gentle hand on Rose's shoulder. Sirius had never seen the strict Professor with such a sad expression on her face. She looked as though she herself was about to cry. "Come with me, my dear. The Headmaster would like to see you. He wants to talk." Her voice trembled.

Students stared in wonder as Rose followed McGonagall blindly toward the giant doors.

"What happened?" Sirius asked James quietly. "They're acting as though someone died." James did not answer. Instead, he reached for the article Rose had been reading.

James felt his eyes widen with horror as he read. He glanced up at his best friend and found he could not speak. No words could describe the terrible things the simple piece of parchment held. He handed the article silently to Sirius.

Sirius bent his head and read the article quickly, his hair falling gently in his eyes. He looked up, pale. "Oh, no. Poor Rose. How could this be?" he murmured softly, looking down at the Prophet as though he wanted to destroy it.

"Hey, James! Sirius!" Remus called as he entered the Great Hall, followed closely by Peter. "We just saw Rose. Professor McGonagall was half carrying her toward Dumbledore's office because she was crying so hard. What happened?"

Sirius and James stared at each other. Neither knew what to say. Sirius handed Remus the article. He read it, with Peter peering over his shoulder. Peter gave a small shriek of terror and the pink in his face faded. Lupin looked up at his friends. "We should go get Lily and Melody," he suggested.

"Lily's sick today. She's still asleep. Maybe it's better if we don't disturb her," James said.

"Okay, I'll go and look for Melody," Remus volunteered. "Peter, you come with me." They left together. Peter looked wistfully at the food on the table.

"I'll go wait for Rose," Sirius said.

James nodded. "I'll come with you, Padfoot."


	4. Her Godfather

Rose couldn't see… she couldn't feel. _This could not be true_. Somehow, they were lying. They were all lying. This wasn't real. She was trapped inside a nightmare. She felt suffocated. She couldn't stand this numbness inside her. She followed McGonagall blindly.

Only when saw the blazing sun through the tall, clear windows in the empty corridor did reality come crashing down upon her. _Her parents were dead_. They had been tortured and murdered by Death Eaters. They had become part of the horror that was going on in the outside world and they would never return.

Their bodies had been found in the wreckage that had once been their home. _Her home_. They had died together, leaving their only child without warning. Never again could see their loving, smiling faces or feel their hugs. Never again could she be comforted by the love of a parent. She felt her numb heart shatter and fall, the pieces crashing at her feet. Her body shook as she began to cry, sobbing; a stream of tears fell from her unseeing eyes. "No, no, NO!" she cried. She didn't care where she was, or who would see. Her life wasn't worth living anymore.

Professor McGonagall turned toward her as Rose's legs gave out. She caught her. "Rose!" she cried in alarm.

Rose felt cold. She didn't think she would ever be able to stop crying. She felt waves of grief and sorrow wash through her body. _She was alone_. She felt McGonagall supporting her as she cried her heart out, all the while leading her toward Dumbledore's office. Rose felt sure she would die from the excruciating pain that was slowly killing her from within. She couldn't believe that the emptiness that threatened to swallow her heart and soul would not destroy her.

Rose was not aware of her surroundings, nor did she know where her feet were carrying her. It did not matter to her. Her vision had turned inward to a place where her parents were still alive… a place where she could see their faces, feel their hugs, and hear their laughter. She could see the beautiful face of her mother. Her eyes that were so blue, they were almost gray. Her long hair, dark as midnight. She saw her father… his warm brown eyes and his light brown hair. She could see them, highlighted by the light that was dimming with the approach of dusk. Their love for her had been almost tangible… Rose felt as if her soul had abandoned her.

Rose realized she was sitting down in an armchair. It was a deep red and felt soft, like the one her mother had let her pick out for her bedroom when she was nine. She forced herself to think of something else.

She looked around. There was Fawkes the phoenix sitting on his perch. He gave her a soft cry, his beautiful voice a terrible reminder of what she had lost. She was in Dumbledore's office.

She looked up. Professor Dumbledore sat behind his magnificent desk, his blue eyes filled with sadness and sympathy. She stared into those age-wizened eyes and felt calmness spreading throughout her being.

"Rose," Albus Dumbledore said softly. "I know you are feeling immeasurable pain. Your only family is gone… but I feel I owe you an explanation."

Rose looked at him for a few seconds. She didn't know if she was capable of speech. "An explanation?" she asked in a confused voice that sounded alien even to her. It was the voice of a lost little girl.

"Yes," he answered. "You know of course, about Lord Voldemort and the terror he is spreading far and wide.

"I knew the Ministry would have trouble. It is not common knowledge that there are spies within our own government for the Dark side. I knew this of course, so I founded a small group of talented witches and wizards who were willing to risk their lives to fight against Lord Voldemort and his supporters. It is a secret group called the Order of the Phoenix.

"We have been fighting his supporters for a while now. We have spies in his inner circle as well. Some members of the Order have fought face to face with his Death Eaters and some have high priority missions that will, if they succeed, help our side immensely."

Rose took a deep steadying breath. "Wait." She knew where this was all going. "My parents and Mr. Bailey… they were in the Order, weren't they?"

"Yes Rose, they were. They were working together to try and capture two Death Eaters. They were attacked last night because the Death Eaters they were after had found out of their plans. Mr. Bailey and your parents were all Aurors, so they thought it was the Ministry that had put them up to it," Dumbledore explained.

"And they were tortured because the Death Eaters were trying to get information about the Ministry's plans?" Rose asked.

"Yes."

"Do you know the identities of the Death Eaters responsible for killing my parents, sir?" Rose asked.

"I'm afraid I don't, Rose," Dumbledore replied sadly. After a pause, he said, "Rose, as I understand it, you come of age in June?"

"Yes, Professor," Rose answered. Her eyes filled with fresh tears as she realized that her parents would never get to see her become a woman. They would never be a part of her future.

Dumbledore pulled out two envelopes and gave them to her. "Mr. Bailey left everything he possessed to your parents, with the exception of a small part of his fortune which went to St. Mungo's," Dumbledore stated, indicating for her to read the contents of the first envelope.

"He gave them ten _thousand_ galleons?" Rose asked as she skimmed through his will.

"Yes, few people knew just how rich he was… but he left everything else to your parents and they, in turn, left everything to you." He pointed to the second envelope. Rose, however did not open it. She knew what it would tell her. "Your house was destroyed, but Brent's house is still completely fine, except for the furniture inside. If you'd like to live there, I can arrange for someone from the Order to restore it for you," Dumbledore offered.

Rose could not speak. Another spasm of sadness engulfed her. She nodded. Almost everything she had ever known had been destroyed. This was all she had left.

"I presume you know about the Fidelius Charm?" Dumbledore asked. Rose nodded. "For your safety, I suggest you find a Secret-Keeper because you will be here for the rest of the school year. I will help you with the charm later." Dumbledore paused. "I believe it was in your parents' will to tell you who your godfather is," he said, suddenly smiling.

"So you know who he is?" Rose asked, feeling a little bit of hope inside. Maybe she wasn't all alone in this world after all.

"Yes, I do, as a matter of fact," Dumbledore replied, his eyes twinkling.

"Can you tell me, Professor?" Rose asked, sitting up straighter.

Dumbledore smiled. "I am your godfather."

"You're my godfather?" Rose asked incredulously. She knew her mouth had probably hit the ground.

"Yes." Those kind blue eyes shone. "Your parents asked me to take the honor, and naturally, I agreed."

Dumbledore was her godfather. Albus Dumbledore, the greatest wizard of their time, was her godfather! Rose felt a part of her broken soul come alive. She wasn't alone. She still had family. She silently thanked her beloved parents for choosing the one wizard who she knew she could trust and be protected by.

"Now, any time you feel the need to talk, just come to me, Rose," Dumbledore said. "I quite enjoy Chocolate Frogs…" he smiled.

"Let yourself heal, Rose. Let yourself be loved and be with your friends. Don't try to shut them out. You need to heal," he said.

Rose nodded. She knew all this already, somewhere deep down. It would take a while to piece her heart back together and she knew that a piece of it would never return; she had unknowingly lost it forever the moment she picked up the Daily Prophet… but she knew she had to be whole again. She needed to be whole in order to find the people responsible for tearing apart her life.

"Rose, before you go, there is another matter we must settle." Dumbledore got up, "The funerals," he said softly, simply.

Rose felt whatever warmth she had leave her body. She forced herself to open her mouth. "Will I… can I…" she trailed off.

"Of course you will be able to be there. I will arrange it all for you," Dumbledore assured her. "But what I wanted to ask was if they had wanted to be laid to rest somewhere special."

"Under the weeping willow behind our house," Rose replied immediately, as the wonderful memories of her mother crashed over her like a storm. That had been her mother's favorite place in the whole world and she knew that her parents would want to be together forever.

Dumbledore nodded. He gave her a small but encouraging smile. "I shall make sure everything goes accordingly… Now then, I will speak to Professor McGonagall, and I hope you will spend the day in Hogsmeade with your friends to take your mind away from things." Dumbledore place a gentle hand on her shoulder and guided her toward the door.


	5. A Mother's Love and Memories Past

Sirius didn't know why he felt this pressing need to help Rose. Maybe it was because of his own sad little tale when it came to family.

Sirius came from a long line of pure-bloods… The ancient and most noble house of Black; that was what his family tree tapestry proudly stated. Anyone who was considered a so called blood-traitor was blasted off that tree faster than you could say the M-word.

His whole family had been Slytherins when they were in Hogwarts, including his prat of a brother, Regulus. Sirius was the exception. He was a Gryffindor, but that wasn't the only thing his mother resented him for.

"Filthy blood traitor!" That's what she screeched at him. Over the summer following his sixth year, he had found that he was starting to hate the place where he grew up more and more. His initial plan to stay in that dreaded place until he was a man was forgotten. His family's ridiculous belief in nobility because of blood and their secret approval of Lord Voldemort had finally made something inside him snap. He left and ran to the Potters. James's parents were more than happy to let him stay with them. Ever since he had become friends with James, they had treated him as if he was their own... which was more than he could say for his own family.

Sirius shook his head. Rose's situation was nothing like his own. Her parents loved her. And while his parents were still alive, hers had been murdered by the very people his parents supported.

Maybe he wanted to be there for her because he had liked her since the moment they had first met. He remembered it as vividly as if it had been yesterday… mostly due to the fact that it was probably the worst way to meet someone who you could possibly one day become friends with…

_They had all been sorted and dinner had been fabulous. Sirius had eaten with his new friends James, Remus, and Peter. They had met on the train when Regulus and his stupid friends Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle tried to attack Peter. Sirius had been in a compartment with James. They had been having a heated discussion about Quidditch. They saw a thin, weary looking boy step into the conflict just as Malfoy pulled out his wand. By the looks on Remus and Peter's faces, he had just said something very foul, which wasn't unlike him. James and Sirius had both stepped out to help and Regulus and his friends had all ended up sprawled across the floor, along with Peter…_

_Sirius was looking around the Gryffindor Common Room. Already he felt more at home than home had ever felt._

_"Hey, Sirius!" James shouted. "I challenge you to a duel!" He already had his wand out. _

_Since most people were already in the dormitories and the ones who were left were drifting off, no one really paid them any attention. Sirius grinned at James and pulled out his own wand. Before they even exchanged bows, before he could even blink, James shouted, "Expelliarmus!" _

_Sirius felt his wand fly out of his hand. James sniggered. Sirius was about to make a reply when, his wand, still arching through the air, hit a girl right in her left eye. He watched with his mouth open in horror, as she gasped, "Ouch!" and clutched her eye. In her haste to cover her eye, she lost her balance and fell. She hit the table behind her and slid to the ground. _

_"I'm so sorry!" Sirius cried, rushing forward and kneeling at her side. "Are you all right?"_

_ "Oh, yeah, I'm fine. Perfectly fine." She rubbed her shoulder with her free hand._

_Sirius almost missed the sarcasm. Almost._

_"I don't know what happened! I think my friend disarmed me," Sirius explained in a rush. The girl didn't move or look at him. Sirius glared at his friend. James was a dead man. He was going to make sure of it. Sirius felt his resolve harden, especially when the girl uncovered her face and looked up at him. Her left eye was a bit red, but other than that, she looked okay; more than okay. She was probably the prettiest girl he had ever seen, with those amazing, deep blue eyes and long, dark hair. He was definitely going to murder James for this._

_"Rose Larkspur," she said. "Can you help me up? My left eye's gone all blurry." She held out her hand._

_"Sirius Black," he replied as he gently helped her to her feet, being careful not to cause any extra damage to her already hurt shoulder. "And I promise I'll kill James for you," he said deliberately as James came over, having finally gotten control over his laughter. Sirius couldn't believe his luck; he was rewarded by a smile from her._

_James chuckled softly. "Sorry about that." He grinned at Rose. "I'm James Potter." He stuck out his hand. _

_Rose looked at him. Instead of taking his hand, however, she poked him in the left eye. "Pleasure," she said sweetly as he covered his own injured eye._

_"Ouch! What was that for!" James exclaimed._

_"What do you think it was for?" she replied. Sirius chuckled. James glowered at him with his right eye before he realized that Sirius was not the only one laughing. The few other Gryffindors in the room were laughing as well. Rose gave them both an innocent smile and went off into the girls' dormitories. "Nighty night!" she called over her shoulder._

"Padfoot?" James poked him in the side. "Anyone home?" he asked as he waved his hand in front of Sirius's face.

Sirius blinked and pulled himself away from his memories. "Sorry, Prongs. I drifted off for a while there."

"No kidding." They had reached the gargoyles that guarded Dumbledore's office. James leaned against the wall and turned to Sirius. "So, how are _we,_ going to help _her_?" James asked. "I mean, we're guys, and no offense, Sirius, but you're not the best when it comes to this stuff and well, you know me... anything I say will probably just come out sounding all wrong and insulting. Out of the four of us, Remus is the best at understanding feelings and comforting people and he's not exactly here."

"I haven't the faintest," Sirius replied. He really hadn't the vaguest clue what they were doing here. How could he hope to comfort Rose? "Maybe we should just leave. Maybe she'll want to be alone."

"Where's Moony when you need him?" James groaned.

"With Peter, but to his credit, they are looking for Melody. Do you think Moony likes her?" Sirius blurted out, aware that he was completely off-topic. He couldn't help but feel that Remus had a soft spot for the pretty blond. He was nice to almost everyone, but he just seemed to be a whole lot nicer to her.

"Kinda looks that way, doesn't it?" James smirked. His eyes took on a mischievous glint.

"Yes, but knowing him, he's more likely to settle for being her big brother or something just as cuddly and family-like," Sirius said before James could get any ideas.

James sobered instantly when he realized the truth in Sirius's words. Remus had been bitten by a werewolf when he was just a child. The only reason he had been able to attend Hogwarts was because Dumbledore had become Headmaster. He had had the Whomping Willow planted over a secret passageway that led to what was now becoming known as the Shrieking Shack in order to isolate Lupin during full moons so that when he transformed, the other students and village people would be safe.

James and Sirius could hardly fail to notice his strange but consistent disappearances. They figured it out in their second year, and along with Peter, decided to become Animagi instead of abandoning Remus. How could they, knowing him as well as they did? James had always told him that he was normal; he just had a "furry little problem".

The process of becoming an Animagus was a difficult one, and if not properly managed, could end with ghastly consequences… but they had all managed it in their fifth year, with no one the wiser. James became a beautiful stag, Sirius a big black dog, and Peter a rat. James and Sirius turned into big animals in order to keep the werewolf Remus in check. Peter, the smallest animal, would slip fast the violent branches of the Whomping Willow and prod the knot at the base of its trunk to freeze it so that they could all slip in to visit Remus.

Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs… the Marauders. That's what they called themselves. They had even made an enchanted map of Hogwarts under those aliases.

It seemed as if their final year at Hogwarts was even more troublesome than all the other six combined. All four of them were facing completely different problems that seemed to be affecting them all in the same, unfathomable way. Remus refused to love because he believed ―rather ridiculously― that his condition made him unworthy, Peter couldn't find a talent in any class and he was in danger of failing the few that he had, Sirius had become a runaway and seemed to be in pain even though he hid it very well, and James just couldn't get the redhead girl of his dreams to love him back or even have a civil conversation with him for that matter.

Sirius and James stood silently, each lost in his own thoughts; all else forgotten… until the stone gargoyle sprang to life and a morose Rose appeared, followed closely by Dumbledore.


	6. Moving On

From the moment she saw him —them— standing there, Rose knew that despite the promise she made to Dumbledore, she was far from ready to face the world outside her stone cold heart. She looked into Sirius's dark brown eyes and at James, standing there beside him, and knew she didn't have the strength to face the day ahead. She couldn't be around people whose laughter and smiles and happiness would be pure. She didn't think she would be able to survive in a place where people could still be glad when all she could feel was this pain.

As if sensing her distress, Dumbledore placed a hand on her shoulder, but said, "Remember our agreement, Rose. I won't allow you to shut yourself away and succumb to grief. You must be strong," he urged.

Rose looked up at him, a protest on her lips. _Dumbledore always has his own reasons for doing things and I trust him_; her father's words echoes in her head. She looked down at her feet in silent submission.

"James, will you come with me? There is something I would like you to do for me," Dumbledore said, smoothly ushering him away.

Rose looked up to see James throw a puzzled look over his shoulder at Sirius before letting himself be swept away by her godfather. Rose looked out the window, refusing to look at Sirius; refusing to see the pity in his eyes.

"Rose?" Sirius said tentatively.

What could she do? He was offering her his support. She turned to him and those dark eyes. To her surprise, he didn't say anything. Instead, he held out his hand. She looked up. The light in his eyes… they were not full of pity, but understanding and something else that made her want to cry all over again; sorrow. Rose took his proffered hand. He was offering her comfort and she gave him something profound in return; trust.

Sirius panicked when he saw the sad, lifeless look in her sea blue eyes. He didn't know how to help her. He wasn't good when it come to dealing with feelings; all it took to prove that was a good look at his own life. He had never really been that serious when it came to girls either. He didn't like the idea of really liking a girl because that meant baring his heart to her. He had learned his lesson in love long ago. If his own family couldn't even love him unconditionally, hoping and waiting for a girl to like him back would be just stupid… True, he had always liked Rose, but it was just that. Nothing more. Yet here he was, about to make a fool of himself.

When he looked into her eyes, he could see her heart there. He saw how broken she was, how vulnerable, and lost. His brain left him, so his heart took over. It knew that she wouldn't want his pity. God only knew how much of that she was going to have to endure for the rest of the week, if not for the rest of her life; the looks and whispers that would follow her wherever she went because her parents had been murdered… No, his heart told him to give her something that was worth more; Lucius Malfoy could give her pity just as well as the next person. So he offered her his hand and the promise of friendship, because he knew what it was like to feel the hurt of losing family. He had lost his long ago…

She trusted him enough to take it and let him lead her… away from the pain, even if it was only for a little while.

Sirius didn't speak. He didn't know what to say. What would a person who had lost just about everything want to talk about? He kept his mouth shut and focused on the strange but pleasant feeling he got from holding her soft, slender hand. _It's because she trusts me,_ his brain assured him. _Yeah, right_, the trusty reserve, his heart replied derisively. Sirius ignored them both.

He refused to acknowledge his feelings and led her out of the castle. He didn't stop until they were in Hogsmeade. Knowing that she wouldn't want to be around a crowd of happy people, he took her toward the Shrieking Shack. Everyone thought it was haunted; dangerous even, but as one of the Marauders, he knew better. It was completely safe, except during full moons.

He stopped when they were about twenty yards away from the little house. Rose didn't say anything, nor did she appear to be scared. When Sirius looked into her unearthly blue eyes, he felt a pang. The lifeless, haunted look he had seen earlier seemed to have been etched into her eyes permanently.

There was a big boulder that had been weathered and carved by hundreds of years of winds that had made it perfect for sitting. Sirius sat down upon it, pulling Rose down beside him. She had been silent since she had first come out of Dumbledore's office and Sirius was beginning to get worried, but he also didn't want to break the silence; didn't know how to. So he sat there silently, still holding her hand.

Sirius looked at Rose. She was staring straight ahead at something he could not see… something that no one would ever see. She was probably only a few inches shorter than him, but right then, she looked so small. Maybe it was this, or the lost look in her eyes, maybe it was the defeated way she now carried herself; maybe it was the snow that had suddenly started falling down and the biting cold that made him realize she wasn't wearing a cloak… maybe he just wanted to. Whatever the reason, Sirius found himself pulling her into his arms and holding her close. He wrapped his long black cloak around them both. She felt so fragile.

"Sirius," she whispered. Her breath felt warm against his cheek. Rose wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her head on his shoulder.

Sirius was aware the moment she relaxed and melted into his warmth. She sighed and he felt her eyelashes on his neck. She had closed her eyes. Sirius sat in her warm embrace for what seemed like forever, enjoying her warmth. He felt happiness and a relaxing pleasure deep inside his heart. He rubbed her back gently, afraid she'd fallen asleep.

"Rose?" He looked down in time to see her open her magnificent blue eyes… in time to see them almost turning green.

"Hmm?" Her blue gaze locked with his. She didn't loosen her grip, nor did she raise her head from his shoulder.

He touched her silky hair. "I know you don't want to be around a whole bunch of people right now, but it's starting to snow pretty hard. We should go somewhere warm."

Rose bit her lip, but nodded. "Okay."

They stood up. Sirius noticed her slight shiver and put an arm around her shoulders, keeping her close, under his cloak. "The Three Broomsticks will probably be really crowded… do you think you can handle going there, or would you rather go to the Hog's Head?" Sirius asked.

"I don't really care which one we go to. As long as you won't leave me alone to face them," she replied earnestly.

That wasn't the answer Sirius expected. He looked down at her with admiration. She was stronger than he thought. He gave her a smile and led her toward the Three Broomsticks.


	7. The Best Sort of Apology

Rose was surprised when she found herself in the arms of Sirius Black. That was nothing, though, compared to the shock of the trusting words that popped out of her mouth when he asked her if she could handle going to the Three Broomsticks.

She walked alongside Sirius, trying not to think. She didn't want to remember why she was walking beside Sirius Black on this snowy, freezing day without her cloak. She only wanted to feel his strength, his warmth. She couldn't bear to remember.

By the time they had reached the Three Broomsticks, the accumulated snow on the ground was over an inch high and Rose was shivering slightly, even though she was as close to Sirius as she could possibly get.

They entered the cherry pub, shaking snow from their robes and hair. Rose couldn't help but notice how Sirius's damp hair fell elegantly into his dark eyes. Rose blinked and pushed the thought away. She touched her own hair.

"Ugh." She freed her thick wavy locks from the blue elastic band that had held it all together on top of her head. She hoped it would dry quickly, but knew that she might as well be wishing for summer to make a sudden appearance. It was so long now; it fell just past the small of her back. Rose ran a hand through the dark river running down her back and made sure that the locks that had managed to escape over her shoulders were all behind her. The last thing she needed was her hair sticking all over her neck and face.

Rose turned to Sirius who had taken off his cloak. He was staring at her with a strange look in his eyes. "Um, Sirius? You wanna find a place to sit?" she asked softly, a bit afraid for his sanity.

He shook his head slightly and said, "Yeah, sure." He steered her gently to a table for two by the fireplace and pulled out a chair for her. "Ladies first," he chuckled, mimicking a bow. Rose laughed and curtsied. "Why thank you, my good sir." Her first laugh of the day. Sirius grinned at her and went off to get them some butterbeer.

Rose smiled to herself as she watched him cross the room. Sirius was really something else. He always made her laugh. He and James were a riot together, causing trouble everywhere they went. Getting in the worst sort of trouble almost every week for something ridiculous. Girls swarmed after them like flocks of birds. James and Sirius had never been serious about any of them. Especially Sirius. James liked Lily, so he didn't really pay any other girl any attention, except for when he was trying to make Lily jealous, which was not very often. Sirius, on the other hand, went out with a different girl every other week. The Heartbreakers. That's what she'd heard their not-so-little fan club call them. Those girls were always plotting some preposterous scheme to finally snag one or both of them for good. A lot of them had even been serious and desperate enough to buy _love potions_. It was a good thing James and Sirius had been too clever to get tricked by one of them yet.

"Hey, Flower!" an oily voice sneered, pulling Rose from her thoughts.

"Oh, it's you, Severus," Rose said with what she hoped sounded like cold indifference, not bothering to hide her distaste. "And look, you've brought your little friends, Malfoy, Regulus, Crabbe, and Goyle." She looked at all of them in turn, with a bored expression on her face while inside, she was thinking at the speed of light. How to curse them without causing too much of a commotion? She was already fingering her wand. "What's the matter? Can't take on a girl without _all_ of your friends?" He glowered at her.

"How're your parents, Larkspur? Are they well?" Malfoy smirked. His friends cackled. "Oh, how thoughtless of me. They're dead aren't they?" Rose felt a stab of pain. She knew her face was probably as white as the snow outside.

"YOU—" she yelled, but Sirius's brother cut her off.

"Killed by the Dark Lord," Regulus sneered. "You'll be next, Flower." He leered. She jumped up and pulled out her wand, her hands shaking.

"Is there a problem?" a low voice growled behind them. Regulus jumped. It was Sirius. He had put the drinks down on a neighboring table. He was pointing his wand at his brother's not-so-handsome face. "Oh, it's you, my dear stupid brother." His eyes were flashing dangerously. A silence had fallen over the noisy pub. People were staring at them; some were glaring openly at the five Slytherins.

"Rose, are you okay? What did they say to you?" Sirius asked his voice suddenly gentle. He didn't take his eyes off his target.

Rose was still shaking form anger and hurt. If she told him the truth, he'd probably murder them on the spot, but he would get in trouble. If she lied, they'd get off, and Sirius would probably be angry at her later.

"Tell me the truth, Rose," he said.

"They… they asked me how my p-parents were," she stammered her voice shaking just as badly as her hand.

Like they all say, "If looks could kill," Regulus and his friends would already be in their graves.

Before any of them could say anything, Hagrid, the giant gamekeeper came over. He looked furious. He apparently, had heard the whole conversation. "What did they ask yeh?" He glared at the five Slytherin boys with his black, black eyes. It really was a sight that would scare anyone. "Put yer wands down. I'll take care of 'em," he said to Rose and Sirius. "Come on, yeh lot. Follow me. I'm gonna have a little chat with Professor Slughorn," he told them darkly and ushered them out of the pub. Snape looked back and glared at them, his face a mixture of emotions. Rose saw the anger and triumphant look in his furtive eyes. She watched them until they were gone. She sank into her chair still clutching her wand. She felt numb. It was as if she had completely exhausted every kind of emotion she possessed within one day.

The whole pub was still quiet as if waiting for something dramatic to happen. Sirius put his wand back inside his pocket and grabbed the drinks. He set one in front of her and sat down beside her. "They really are quite stupid, aren't they?" he said.

Rose looked up at him. He had a faint smile on his face. She knew what he was trying to do. "And here I thought you were supposed to be smart! Took you long enough to figure that one out, Sirius," Rose replied. Hands still shaking slightly, she brought her drink to her lips. She counted to ten and relaxed. She let herself enjoy the butterbeer flowing through her veins. _I will be strong, I will be strong, _she chanted to herself silently. When the image of Malfoy's hideous face threatened to invade her brain, she shoved it away roughly. _NO_.

"Rose? Rose!" Sirius called. He was looking at her with concern. The pub was noisy once again.

"Oh, sorry. Did you say something? I wasn't paying attention," she said apologetically.

"Well that's a first. A girl not hanging on to my every word… are you sure you've never fallen on your head before?" he asked teasingly.

Rose rolled her eyes. "The only reason that all the girls you date hang on to your every word is because you date all the idiotic, giggly ones who just pretend to listen while they stare at you," Rose said and sipped her butterbeer.

"So you admit I'm good-looking then?" he asked gleefully.

Rose choked and nearly spat butterbeer all over him. She swallowed and coughed. Sirius's grin grew wider as he handed her a napkin.

"No girl can resist my face," he boasted, shaking his hair out of his eyes for effect.

"Maybe it's because they feel sorry for your face," Rose suggested, keeping a straight face. "You know how people get all soft and mushy when they see a really tiny, pitiful, scrawny dog."

Sirius glared at her. "You are deeply and completely in denial," he said. "You know you think I'm handsome."

Rose snorted. "Yeah, the mental me maybe. Have you taken a good look at yourself today? You look _terrible_."

Sirius stared at her for a moment, unsure whether she was joking or not. He grabbed a spoon and looked at his reflection. "What are you _talking_ about? I always look like this…" he trailed off as she started laughing. "Hey!" he said, deeply offended, having finally gotten the joke. He put on a hurt look.

Rose forced herself to stop laughing, biting on the inside of her cheek. She realized then what a "wounded puppy-dog face" truly looked like. "I was only joking, Sirius. There's no need to take it so seriously. _Seriously_!"

Sirius considered her for a moment. "Okay. I want an apology. A good one," he said in his best little-boy voice. "Complete with a kiss." He grinned mischievously.


	8. The Dancing Wind

When they'd walked into the Three Broomsticks, Sirius had felt her shivering. At first he thought it was because she was scared or nervous, but then he felt how cold she was and felt another surge of admiration for her. She had really been serious when she said that she would be okay as long as he was with her. _Who was this girl?_

When they were inside the warm pub, he realized just how wet they both were. He was taking off his cloak when he heard her say, "Ugh."

He looked up. Her hair was flowing down her back like a dark river. Her fragrant scent wound itself around him… strawberries and cream. He knew he probably looked like an idiot, staring at her, but the way her hair shimmered in the light made his brain go blank.

Her soft voice snapped him back to reality. When he went to go get the butterbeers, he was grinning like a fool. She had laughed! He had made her laugh… He thought about nothing while he waited for the drinks. When he'd turned around, however, he couldn't help but scowl. There were five very annoying and equally ugly Slytherins standing around Rose.

The whole room was watching the drama unfold. Sirius didn't hear what they were saying; he saw Rose jump up, her face deathly pale, wand in hand. He could see the brilliant fire in her eyes even from where he stood.

There was a slight pounding in his ears. When she told him what they'd said to her, he felt like murder. Forget about wands and magic, he wanted to beat them all to a bloody pulp. His fury and hatred didn't really know which one he wanted to kill first; his idiot brother, Malfoy, or Snape. It was lucky Hagrid had stepped in, he thought darkly to himself as he gulped down his butterbeer. He looked at Rose. She was laughing now.

"I was only joking, Sirius. There's no need to take it so seriously. _Seriously_!" she said. He could tell she was fighting with herself, forcing herself not to laugh.

He pretended to study her for a moment. "Okay. I want an apology. A good one," he said. "Complete with a kiss." He grinned at her. He didn't know why he had said _that_. The words had popped out of his mouth before they even registered in his brain.

Rose blinked, looking at him in surprise. "Just kidding!" For some reason, he really didn't want to say those two words, so he kept his mouth shut and waited for her reaction.

"I think you've had a little too much to drink," she said slowly, tilting her head.

"And I think you owe me a very big and nice apology," he smiled at her sweetly. He could feel his heart drumming hard.

Rose shrugged. She leaned toward him and kissed him softly on the cheek. Sirius felt his heart soar and it was only a kiss on the _cheek_. Before she could pull back, Sirius placed a hand on the back of her neck and pulled her closer. His heart was telling him that if he didn't, he would regret it later.

"Come 'ere," he whispered and smiled when her eyes widened in shock as she realized what he was doing. Before she could protest, he touched her lips with his. He kissed her softly, pulling her ever closer, urging her on. She opened to him and Sirius explored his mouth, swirling his tongue across her bottom lip. He honestly thought he had died and gone to heaven. She nibbled his lip gently and sighed contently, melting into him completely. Sirius plunged his hand into her silky, smooth hair. He heard a low wolf whistle and pulled away quickly, realizing with a jolt, where they were. He looked at the slightly dazed look in her blue eyes that were dark with pleasure and had a sudden strong urge to kiss her again. He laughed softly. "Sorry, Rose. I didn't mean to do that… but the bright side is I forgive your teasing completely."

Rose blinked a few times and blushed. She looked up at him, a defiant light in her eyes. She stuck out her tongue at him and made a face. "Can we go now?"

Sirius nodded and grabbed his cloak, not trusting himself to speak. He saw a bunch of Ravenclaw sixth years grinning at him with knowing looks on their faces. He turned away quickly.

He put a hand on Rose's waist and walked out the door with her. "Do you want go back to the castle for lunch?" he asked. She nodded without looking at him. While they walked toward the school, she put her hair back in a ponytail. The snow was still falling down, but the precipitation had lessened considerably.

They walked in silence. Sirius cursed the lack of conversation because it gave him time to think about the kiss. He had kissed a lot of girls but none of them ever made him feel so good. He clenched his teeth and looked at Rose. She didn't say anything. She didn't even look as though the kiss bothered her at all. In fact, she looked completely at ease. Sirius wanted to shake her and make her talk, but he was afraid he'd only end up kissing her again. He didn't know why one little kiss had affected him so.

"Rose," he said. "I'm sorry for kissing you like that back there. I don't know what happened." He studied her face intently.

"S'OK," she said evenly, shrugging. She acted like it was no big deal.

Sirius felt his heart fall… he felt like someone had just punched him, but as she turned away, he saw a slight smile tugging on the corners of her mouth and the tinge of red on her cheeks that had not been there moments before.

Sirius smiled, suddenly ecstatic. "You liked it, didn't you?" he asked her slowly. She blushed. He chuckled.

Rose walked faster, but Sirius had no trouble keeping up. "There's no use trying to run, Rose. You know I can catch you easily if I wanted to."

"Stupid bighead," she muttered furiously. Sirius laughed.

They walked on in a comfortable silence. Sirius felt himself grinning. He was slowly becoming an idiot. Sirius looked at Rose. She was looking determinedly straight ahead. Maybe she was afraid that if she even glanced at him, she might fall off her rocker. When he voiced this thought aloud, he received a hard whack upside the head.

"Ow… you didn't have to hit so hard!" he said, adding a little whine to his voice. She shook her head and laughed.

"You are really something else, Sirius Black." She said looking at him affectionately, amusement dancing merrily in her sapphire eyes. He grinned at her.

They had reached the edge of the lake. Rose stopped and stared out across the icy water. She stopped smiling and a distant faraway look appeared in her eyes as she remembered. Guilt tore at her heart as she realized that she had forgotten her pain in the little while she had spent with him.

Sirius turned to her. "Rose," he said, but she wasn't paying attention. Her hands were in her hair, freeing the long strands from the band that held them together. Her dark hair cascaded down her back in waves as she let go. He watched, completely mesmerized, as she closed her eyes and opened her arms to the wind. Her hair flew up, dancing in the dimming light. She seemed to have forgotten everything; the cold, the snow, her pain, even him.

Sirius stood beside her, watching as the gentle wind tugged at her robes. What really made him thankful for the wind was when she smiled again. That smile transformed her face. She smiled as if her parents were still alive. She smiled as if she could feel them hugging her instead of the gentle wind that was playing with the ends of her hair.

It was in that moment that Sirius understood what he had always heard people say… _the ones we love never _truly_ leave us. They live on within_… Maybe, he thought, she was smiling because although her eyes were closed, she could really see them standing there beside her within. Maybe she was smiling because their love for her would always be there, even if they themselves could not.

The sunlight danced across her face. Rose opened her eyes. She didn't look at Sirius. She stared at the light sparkling on the water. Her gaze moved swiftly, drawn to the enchanted castle that was now all she had, the only home she could claim she belonged.

Sirius followed her gaze. They both stood silently admiring it. "It's beautiful, isn't it?" he said. "I remember the first time I ever entered those doors. I knew then that not all of me would really be able to leave."

Rose looked up at Sirius. He had a sad, heartbreaking expression on his face. She knew from the way he refused to talk about his family, that he had probably rarely been happy at home. The seldom times she'd overheard him talk to James about them, he had spoken lightly, but she had seen the loathing and bitterness in his eyes.

She had loved and lived with her parents all her life. Now, she had lost them forever… but Sirius: he had lived with his family just as long, but he had never really known them, let alone loved them.

Rose stared into his eyes. "Let's go, Sirius." He nodded and took her hand, walking toward the place that they both had come to love as home.


	9. A Simple Question

"So, James, what did you do today?" Sirius asked, piling his plate with food.

They were all eating lunch in the Great Hall with the portion of the school that had not gone to Hogsmeade. They'd found James sitting by Peter looking really grumpy. Peter was sneaking worried peeks at him as James stabbed his food with unnecessary and extreme violence.

"I've been _here_. With Peter. Helping him with his extra homework because he is failing all his classes quite miserably," James said in a spiteful tone. Peter flushed a deep red.

"I'm sorry, James. I know you wanted to go to Zonkos," Peter mumbled.

"What about Moo— I mean, Remus?" Sirius asked before stuffing more food in his mouth. James gave him a disgusted look, but then again, he had eaten breakfast that morning. Sirius had not.

"I'm guessing he's still with Melody… in Hogsmeade," James replied.

Rose choked on her bite of chicken. The three Marauders looked at her in alarm. She looked at James. "Really? They're together?"

"Yeah. They should be. Why?"

"Nothing really," Rose murmured, although it actually was a big something. Ever since they had met the four Marauders, Melody had taken a fancy to Remus. Rose couldn't blame her. Not only was he quite good-looking, but he was also mature, kind, and modest… some characteristics that his best friends James and Sirius lacked. Rose had a feeling that Remus liked Melody a lot as well, but he didn't seem to want to do anything about it. This was where she wished he could have had a little bit of James and Sirius's recklessness. Melody wasn't a giggly girl who chased after guys or was prissy about her looks: she was naturally beautiful… but Rose knew that Melody would pick up those things in an instant if it meant that Remus would just show her he liked her, because Rose knew that deep inside, Melody was slowing bleeding to death from the pain that it was causing her.

Remus was with Melody inside Zonkos. He had found her in the owlery, mailing a letter to her parents. On their way to the Headmaster's office, they ran into Dumbledore himself who was talking to James. He told them that Rose was in good hands and asked them all not to go looking for her. He then proceeded to split them up. He told Remus to take Melody to Hogsmeade, while James stayed behind to help Peter catch up with his classes. James had been less than happy about the Headmaster's request. Remus had kind of a silent panic attack. He didn't want to be alone with Melody... it wasn't that he found her repulsive or anything. She was really pretty and nice. He liked her…

Melody had been worrying herself sick about Rose, but she had stayed true to her word and had not tried to search for Rose. Dumbledore didn't tell them who Rose was with, but Remus had a vague suspicion: there was, after all, a Marauder unaccounted for…

Remus had gotten Melody to go to Zonkos with him with a gentle probe. She was a smart girl. She knew defeat when she saw it. After a lot of reassurances on his part that Rose would be okay, Melody seemed to relax.

Soon, they were talking to each other easily and laughing together. Remus had never been a big joker (That had been James and Sirius's job), but he found that she laughed easily and could match him wit for wit. He was enjoying himself thoroughly.

Around lunchtime, they went to the Three Broomsticks. While they ate, they talked about what they planned to do with the rest of their lives.

"I've always wanted adventure," Melody said, her smoke-blue eyes sparkling. "Ever since Lord Voldemort came to power, things have been terrible. My mother lost one of her best friends and I lost my aunt and uncle on my father's side because of him. Since then, I decided to become an Auror… And now, Rose's parents are gone. They always treated Lily and me as if we were their own." She looked down at her hands sadly.

Lord Voldemort… he had caused them all so much terror and pain. Because of him, families were torn apart as loves ones died and fell prey to his hatred and darkness; brother turned upon brother as the fight over bloodlines became a war within itself. Because of him, death and destruction had struck everyone in some way. Even if someone one day conquered him, those who survived his evil would still be scarred in some way or form… the survivors of his darkness would always remember…

Remus sighed softly. This was evil at its height.

"What about you, Remus? What are your plans for life after Hogwarts?" Melody asked.

Remus thought about his answer. A few years ago, he didn't have any hope at all of life _at_ Hogwarts. He was thankful for everything he had now; his friends, his loving parents, a chance for a better future… but he knew better than to get his hopes up too high. He knew that even as a fully qualified wizard, the werewolf part of his life would always hold him back. Werewolves were not trusted among most of the wizarding world. They were considered dangerous, and they were shunted. Remus knew that for him, life would always be hard.

"I don't know…" he said slowly. Although he had thought about his future probably a lot more than most people, he still didn't know what his plans were. As a werewolf, there weren't a lot of options. Unemployment was almost a sure thing.

"Remus," Melody said softly. She took a deep breath. It had been almost seven years. It was now or never. She was tired of waiting. "Do you like me?"


	10. Hazel Eyes and Lies From the Heart

Sirius nudged Rose in the side. "It's Lily," he whispered, looking toward the doors of the Great Hall. Rose looked up.

Lily looked great. She seemed perfectly fine now, except for the concern shining in her emerald eyes. She spotted Rose and hurried over, her wavy red hair swaying gently behind her.

Rose glanced at James. He had gone quite still. She saw him raise his hand toward his hair, ready to make it messier and kicked him under the table. James glared at her. Rose gave him a meaningful look and he realized what she was trying to tell him.

"Rose!" Lily exclaimed. "I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you. I left you all alone. I was asleep!" she said the last word with self-disgust. "I'm sorry." She bit her lip and tried to blink away the tears in her green eyes.

"It's okay Lily," Rose smiled. "And I wasn't alone," she added softly.

Lily looked into her electric blue eyes. She stared at the sad smile on her face and the hand on her shoulder. She looked to the owner of the hand and found herself staring into the warm brown eyes of Sirius Black.

She didn't like him. He was James's best friend for one thing. He was always in trouble, causing mayhem, in detention every week. The worst thing about him was the speed at which he went through girls. Lily narrowed her eyes at him. There was no way she was going to let him hurt her already wounded best friend.

Lily looked at Rose. Already, she could see that her best friend had changed. There was a haunted, broken-spirited look in her brilliantly blue sapphire eyes. She looked the same, but the depth of her eyes made it seem as if she had aged ten years in those few hours. Lily saw the hurt in Rose everywhere she looked.

"Lily, you should eat," Rose said gesturing for her to sit down.

Lily sat down next to Rose and found herself staring at the person sitting straight across from her. _James Potter_. She clenched her teeth to keep herself from screaming. What had she done to deserve this?

"Hi, Lily," he said softly, smiling a little. He turned quickly back to his own food.

Lily was aware that while she was staring at him, Rose, Sirius, and Peter were all frozen, watching her. _Hi, Lily?_ she thought. This polite Potter made her suspicious and more nervous than the usual arrogant one, but she replied grudgingly, "Hi," for the sake of her best friend. She avoided looking at those gorgeous hazel eyes and started eating.

xoxox

Remus stared at Melody, lost for words. _I must have heard her wrong_, he thought to himself, but a little nasty voice in the back of his head said, _You know perfectly well what she said, you coward_. He pushed the voice back. "I'm sorry?" he said slowly. He knew he was grasping at straws. Melody was way too smart and he had never been a good liar.

Melody narrowed her eyes. "You heard me, Remus. Don't pretend like you haven't."

Remus sighed. He had known this was coming. He cursed his heart, commanding it not to respond. He looked down at the floor and remained silent. _That's it, Lupin,_ said the little voice. _Keep ignoring her, see where that gets you, you idiot. _

"Remus, do you like me?" Melody asked again. Her voice was stronger. Melody knew that she couldn't wait forever; her heart wouldn't survive.

"No," he whispered to the ground.

Melody sucked in a breath. "Remus, say that again, to my face. Look me in the eye and tell me that you truly have no feelings for me."

Remus felt his own heart dying as he heard the hurt in her voice. He looked up and gazed into her pale blue eyes that were like mist out on a stormy sea.

"I don't like you," he said evenly, hating himself more and more with each word.

He watched as her heart shattered. He could see it in her beautiful eyes. Tears flooded them and she looked away. Remus looked down at his hands. More than anything, he wished he could take back those words and tell her the truth. His mouth opened of its own accord. He clamped it shut. He couldn't let his heart get what it so badly wanted. He couldn't—wouldn't—let himself be loved.

"I'm sorry, Melody." He heard his own voice from somewhere far away. He forced himself to look at her, but she was already gone. He stared at her empty chair for a second and looked out the window. He caught a glimpse of her golden hair.

Remus got up and walked slowly toward the door. People stared at him, whispering, but he did not care. He felt his heart breaking. He wished he could race after her and make her understand, but he made himself walk in the other direction. His feet carried him toward the Shrieking Shack… a small reminder of what he was… who he was… and why he was dying inside.

xoxox

They were in the Gryffindor common room. Rose was curled up on an armchair, keeping her word to Dumbledore about not shutting herself away. She felt better now. She was devastated that her parents had been killed, but she also knew that she couldn't withdraw from the rest of her life. She needed her friends: she needed this to go on with her life.

Lily was sitting on a loveseat beside James. She looked thoroughly uncomfortable, as if she'd rather be out in the cold than being so close to him, but she didn't move. Perhaps she thought that James deserved a chance now, at least to prove himself.

Sirius came over and sat on the arm rest. "They look like they're making _some _progress, don't they?" he said.

"Yeah. At least they're not yelling at each other… yet," Rose replied, tilting her head.

"I guess, but I think this is a record. A minute and counting," he said, glancing at his watch.

"You're kidding right?" Rose asked incredulously. "You're not actually timing this?" She looked up at him.

Sirius didn't reply. He was staring intently at James and Lily. James had just presented Lily with a bouquet of freshly cut daisies. They were arranged beautifully, tied together with a red ribbon. He seemed to have conjured it out of thin air.

Lily was looking at him with her mouth hanging open. She seemed to be in two minds about accepting the flowers. James smiled at her and offered her the flowers. Lily reached out to take it, but at that moment, someone raced into the common room…


	11. For Her

She had known she was setting herself up for heartbreak, but she couldn't help it. How could you explain to your heart that to love _him_ would be bad for it?

When she asked him the question that she so needed him to say yes to, she didn't actually think that he would say no. She had been so sure that she had read all the signs correctly; she had thought Remus liked her.

She ran blindly on, her legs and feet moving on automatic. She didn't know where she was going. Without really seeing the people around her, she ran toward the place her heart told her was right. The place where maybe, she would be okay… shielded from this pain.

She found her vision in front of the portrait hole. She gave the Fat Lady the password and the painting swung forward. She ran into the common room and made for the girls' dormitories as fast as she could.

She ran past a bunch of people who seemed to pass in a blur. She ran up the stairs. Someone called her name. She ran into the room and threw herself onto her bed. She heard footsteps. A gentle hand touched her shoulder. She felt herself being moved. Someone flipped her over onto her back. She looked up. It was Rose and Lily. She frowned at Rose. She looked different… older, sad, determined, and a little cold.

She sat up. They sat down. "Melody, what happened?" Rose asked.

She looked at Rose. Her parents were gone. She had lost everything yet here she was, asking her if she was all right. She chastised herself. _See? She's strong_, a nasty voice said from deep inside her.

"I'm not strong like you, Rose! I can't… it hurts…" she cried.

"Melody, what happened?" asked Lily. Her eyes full of concern and warmth. "Tell us. We can help you."

"He said no!" she wailed. She told them everything. When she was finished, she felt exhausted. At some point in her story, her two best friends had draped their arms across her shoulders. She felt their support and the depth of their friendship. She closed her eyes and realized with a start that her cheeks and hands were wet… with _tears_. She had been crying… ever since he had said the one word that had been her undoing. For the first time in nine years, Melody Summers was crying.

xoxox

Remus sat on the boulder in front of the Shrieking Shack, his hands trembling, his head bowed. He was thinking, remembering… he could see Melody's beautiful face when he had broken her heart. The tears in her eyes… He knew that she wasn't the type of girl who cried a lot; in fact, he was sure the last time she had cried, she had probably been a child. He hated that it was him who had finally broken her down. He hated everything about himself at that moment… especially his werewolf side.

Remus closed his eyes and emptied his mind. He just wanted to forget… He didn't know how long he sat there, but when he opened his eyes, he thought he was hallucinating.

"Hello, Remus."

"Rose? What are you doing here?" he asked.

"Well… we were all in the common room after lunch because none of us felt like going to Hogsmeade and those of us who did, did not want to go alone… Just when Lily was about to reach out and take the flowers James had conjured for her, someone came bursting in." Rose sat down beside him. "I'll give you three guesses who."

Remus closed his eyes and clenched his fists. "Melody," he whispered.

"She ran upstairs, into the girls' dormitories and threw herself on the bed. She told us what happened and I have to tell you, I believe it is the first time she's cried since her grandfather passed away… nine years ago," Rose informed him lightly.

So he had been right about that. "So Lily's with her?" he asked. Rose nodded. "You decided to hunt me down. So what do you want, Rose? You want me to go and comfort her? Is that it? Or maybe you came here to make me feel worse?" he asked her loudly. He looked angry.

Rose stared at him. This was the first time she had ever heard Remus raise his voice, let alone at her. "Remus, I'm not here to do any of those ridiculous things. I just wanted to talk to you… in a more _civilized_ manner.

"In case you're wondering, Sirius and James are not here because I thought it was a bad idea. They wanted to find you, but I wouldn't let them. I didn't want them to make you do anything you didn't want to, or even worse, let you convince yourself that everything would be okay and sink into a shell.

"Remus, I know you like Melody," Rose said.

"No, you're wrong! I don't like her!" he retorted, jumping up. He glared at her, breathing hard, as though daring her to say otherwise.

"You've always been good at controlling your emotions… I guess this was bound to happen at least once," she commented pleasantly, as if she was talking to a little child who had just spilled his milk. He glared at her some more. "Sit down, Remus, please?"

He looked down at her. "I don't like her," he repeated in a panic, like a cornered animal.

"Remus, don't kid yourself. We both know you have a brilliant mind and all, but if there's one thing you were always horrible at, it's lying." She gave him a small smile and motioned for him to sit down. When he sat down, she spoke. "I know you like her and I know she likes you. So what's the big deal? Why did you lie to her and break her heart? You're hurting too. Even an idiot can see that. Why choose a path of pain when you could have easily made you both happy?"

He stared at the ground. He didn't want to answer, but he needed her to understand. If she understood, she would know he was doing the right thing.

"I'm a werewolf."

Rose blinked. This was obviously not the answer she had been expecting. "I was bitten when I was very young…" He told her everything, about all the friends who had abandoned him, the hardships his parents had to face, the pain during the transformations, and finally, his uncertainty of his own future.

"She can't be with me, Rose," he said desperately. "I don't even know what's going to happen to me when I become a man. What kind of a husband would I make? What kind of a father? How could I let her love me, knowing what kind of life we'd have to live? We can't be together. I won't let her throw away her dreams for me. I won't tie her down. She deserves someone who is whole through and through. I won't let her spend the rest of her life regretting being with me, wishing she could have a better life. I won't let her grow old with a useless werewolf!" He spat out this last word with disgust and sprang up. He stormed off, knowing Rose wouldn't follow him. After all, why should she, now that she knew what he was?

xoxox

Rose stared at Remus's retreating back and shook her head. She jumped up and ran after him. _What an idiot!_ She thought to herself.

"Remus Lupin! Stop running away! Stop! Right now!" she yelled after him.

Remus spun around, shock and confusion evident on his face. He looked at her as if she had just grown a second head.

"You truly are a fool, Remus. Do you really think that being a werewolf will give you an excuse for pushing Melody away? She _loves_ you, Remus! She doesn't care what you are! She—"

"But I do," he murmured, cutting her off.

"Remus, she loves you more than anything in the world. Every time she looks at you, it shows in her eyes. It's kind of sick to watch sometimes," Rose laughed. "She's happy with you, Remus. You love her just as much and you know it!" she told him.

"Do you honestly think that she would feel tied down by you?" Rose asked him, shaking her head. "You would make a wonderful husband and father. And although the life you two will share won't be easy, you'll be happy, and if no one else is there for you, I will be." Rose smiled meekly. "I just inherited a fortune…

"Being with you _is _her dream, Remus. She wants to be an Auror. She can and will be one whether you choose to be together or not. And as for spending the rest of her life with a werewolf… it's _you_ she fell in love with. Not the werewolf you have to become once a month." Rose smiled and looked a t him. "We can argue over this until the ending of time, but if _you_ haven't come to terms with who and what you are; if you can't learn to accept yourself, you'll never be able to love and let yourself be loved by the ones who care about you the most.

"It's not the werewolf that lives inside you who's holding you back, Remus. You are what you choose to be. Your heart: that is what you are. Your being a werewolf is just a part of your identity. It's you who is afraid of love and where it might lead you. True love only happens once or twice in a lifetime, Remus. Most people can't even find their other half until it's too late. Don't pass it up. If you lose it now, you might just have lost it forever." Rose sighed and touched his cheek. "I won't force you to do anything, Remus. I just want to help you before you lose her completely. She's hurting right and so are you. I just don't want you to realize what a good thing you have here until it's too late."

Remus frowned and looked at her. There was a haunted, sad look in her eyes. Just a few hours prior to all of this, she had lost almost everything… yet here she was, telling him about love. She, who had suffered the biggest loss in love, was encouraging others to love. She seemed to understand it better than any of them, not because of her loss, but in spite of it all.

Remus took a deep breath. What exactly did he have to lose? "What if she won't have me?" he asked… for losing Melody would be the biggest loss of all.

Rose smiled. "I'm already playing secret 'matchmaker' for James, it can't be that terrible to bid away my other best friend as well. I always like you Marauders anyway," she said approvingly.

If Rose could still love this much after all she had lost, then so could he… especially if it was for Melody.


	12. Confusion and Confessions

Melody had silently cried herself to sleep and Lily had been sitting by her side ever since. She was completely at a loss. Of all the Marauders, Remus had always been the one she liked the best. She had always thought that he liked Melody… everyone had thought so. Lily frowned and shook her head.

Rose had left to go find Remus. She told Lily that she didn't want Sirius and James to get to him first because together, they would have kept the truth hidden… That had been over an hour ago.

Lily's thoughts drifted. She thought about James. His behavior today had been… unusual to say the least. He hadn't been arrogant, rude, or conceited. He hadn't even messed up his hair once, though she did catch him raising his hand to his head a couple of times.

"Old habits die hard…" she muttered.

Was James Potter actually growing up? Did maturity _finally_ catch up with that big head of his (which was not so big anymore)? Or was this all an act to get her to like him?

Lily narrowed her eyes. If this was all an act, it was one worthy of an Oscar. She swore to herself that if she ever found out that this _was_ all an act, she would make him pay.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Rose. She was back. Lily jumped up. "Rose, did you find him?" she whispered. Rose didn't answer her. She walked over to Melody and gently shook her awake, ignoring Lily's protests.

"Rose?" Melody asked softly.

"Come with me," Rose said. She pulled Melody up gently but firmly, leading her toward the door. Lily followed them silently down the stairs into the Gryffindor common room.

When they entered the common room, they saw that the only people occupying the room were the four Marauders. Lily heard Melody's sharp gasp as she spotted Remus. Melody stood frozen as Remus got up and walked toward her. Melody suddenly turned and tried to run back, but Lily blocked her way and Rose was holding her hand.

"Melody, stop, please?" Rose pleaded. "I asked Remus to come. He wants to talk to you."

"I don't want to talk to him!" Melody shouted. Remus froze and flinched visibly. Lily could see regret in his eyes.

"Melody, there are some things you should both know about each other," Rose said mysteriously. Lily saw James and Sirius exchange dark glances and Peter furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "You two need to talk." Rose gently pulled Melody along and made her sit on a couch in front of the fire.

She turned to Remus and signaled for him to take a seat next to Melody. He hesitated and stared into Rose's haunted eyes. He sighed and nodded. It was amazing how much he seemed to trust her.

He sat down by Melody, who fidgeted on her end of the couch. Rose turned to all of them and said softly, "Let's go."

They all followed her out of the portrait hole, leaving Melody alone with Remus…

Melody stared straight ahead at the bright glow of the fire. She didn't want to hear what Remus had to say… she didn't even want to look at him: she just wanted to run from the room and never look back, but she couldn't move.

"Melody, I know I hurt you and I'm sorry for that… but before I say anything else, I want…" He took a deep breath. "I want to tell you a story about a foolish little boy who paid the price for his father's actions…"

Melody looked up at him. Remus had a sad smile on his face. She found that in spite of herself, she was curious. Remus told her about the little boy who got bitten by Fahrir Greyback because his father disagreed with the infamous werewolf. He told her about the pain he had to endure, the troubles his parents had to go through, and his vow never to love. She felt her heart shattering all over again as the hope that had risen inside her was diminished.

"I promised myself that I would never love another because of the grief and hardships that I would bring her. I didn't want the girl that I loved to be hurt and tied down by me because of what I am. I've always found this promise easy to keep… until I met you." He looked at her tenderly. Melody's heart felt light. She knew that she was foolish to hope again, but she couldn't help it.

"I didn't lie to you today when I told you that I didn't like you, Melody," he said and she blinked in confusion. "I love you... and I'm willing to break my promise to myself for you, if you'll still have me now that you know the truth about me." He smiled hopefully at her.

Melody felt her eyes fill with tears. "Why now? Why me?"

"Because someone told me today that true love is hard to find… that I was just too stupid to not be able to see what a great thing I'd found. I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone; not when I could spend even just one day with you.

"I was frightened that I could ever love someone this much, someone I'd break my vow for. I was afraid that I couldn't give you all that you deserve. I'm still scared that I can't… but I also want to try, because I love you and being with you makes me whole. Being with you reminds me of who I really am; not the werewolf." He reached out and touched her hand.

"You're a beautiful, smart, kind girl, and I love you with all of my heart." He smiled. "I'll understand if you don't want to be with me."

"Are you insane? I love you, Remus!" Melody exclaimed and threw her arms around him. "More than I could ever say."

Remus held her close and she felt her heart drumming strongly against her chest. He loved her and she would never let him go. _Thank you, Rose_, she thought as he kissed her sweetly, sealing their love.


	13. Love and Sirius

The moment they were out of the portrait hole, Sirius pulled Rose aside with James. They ignored Lily and Peter completely and refused to acknowledge either of them.

"Rose, do you really think this is a good idea?" Sirius whispered intently. He stared at her seriously.

"Do I think what is a good idea?" she asked with polite inquiry.

"Telling Melody that Remus is a werewolf!" he hissed.

"What about it?" she asked.

"I think it's a bad idea. That's what!" he replied. He paced in front of her.

"Sirius, why are you making such a big deal out of this? Remus doesn't mind, so why should you? Besides, it's not as if we're going to announce it to the whole school!" she said blithely.

"It's bound to get out!" he retorted hotly.

"Sirius, mate, she's got a point. No one else will find out unless we tell them. Melody won't tell anyone. She fancies Remus… and if _Peter_ hasn't even slipped yet, I doubt anyone else will know about this in the near future," James cut in softly. "Just out of curiosity, why _are_ you so worried?"

"I don't know. I guess it's because he's one of my best friends and I don't want to see him get hurt," Sirius mumbled, looking at the ground in embarrassment that he could ever admit such a thing out loud to two other people.

"Sirius, use your head. They love each other. There is no way Melody would hurt Remus," Rose said as though stating the obvious.

"Unless she rejects him now." _Because he's a werewolf_. Sirius didn't say those last words, but they all heard them in their own minds.

"She won't," Rose replied firmly.

"How can you be sure of it?" Sirius asked.

Rose's sea blue eyes seemed to gaze straight through him. The haunted broken hearted look in her eyes deepened and glimmered like the rising sun over the never ending ocean waters. "How can we be sure that love exists? How can you be sure that love is forever, even if the ones you care about will never come back?" she asked softly, more to herself than to Sirius.

Sirius and James stared at her. Either of them knew what to say. She blinked and looked away. "They say that you 'find love', but they've got it all wrong. Love cannot be found. Love just is. Love just happens… Remus is almost a man, Sirius… Let him decide what is best for himself. Let _him_ decide to whom his heart belongs and what will come of it." She still wouldn't look at either of them.

Sirius opened his mouth and shut it quickly. Conflicting emotions chased after one another across his face. He couldn't bring himself to say what was fighting to escape the confinement of his mouth. He couldn't bear to hurt her any more than she already was by questioning the thing that had become her tether to hope and survival. _Love doesn't exist._

xoxox

Lily looked up as Remus and Melody came out of the portrait hole… holding hands and smiling. She was relieved that Melody was okay, though "okay" seemed too big of an understatement.

Melody was positively beaming. She looked so happy… and so in love. Lily looked from her pretty smiling face to Remus's half-sheepish, half-exuberant smile and knew that these two were the type of couple that people would call "a match made in heaven".

Lily looked over at James, Sirius, and Rose. James had a mischievous grin on his face and his hazel eyes were gleaming with happiness for his friend. Rose was wearing a knowing, satisfied smile. She gave Remus a tiny nod and winked at Melody teasingly, causing the pair of them to blush cherry red. Everyone seemed to be overjoyed that Remus and Melody had FINALLY gotten together… everyone, that is, except for Sirius. He had a strange, haunted kind of look on his face and a glimmer of light crackled eerily in his deep brown eyes.

Lily saw that Rose had noticed Sirius's strange expression, too. Rose stopped smiling and gazed at Sirius fixedly. She seemed to be trying to see straight through him, into his heart.

"Hey, we should all head down to the Great Hall. The feast is going to start soon," James said. Everyone murmured their agreements and followed him… everyone except for Lily, Rose, and Sirius.

"Sirius, can we talk?" Rose asked in a small voice. Lily saw Sirius stiffen slightly.

"Maybe later, Rose," he replied, not meeting her eyes.

"No, now." She looked at him. Sirius stared at her for a few seconds and nodded.

"Lily!" James called. "Come on!"

Lily turned away from Rose and Sirius reluctantly and let herself be led away by none other than the popular James Potter.

xoxox

Sirius looked at Rose warily as everyone else disappeared from the now empty corridor on their way to the Great Hall. She didn't speak. He waited uneasily for what seemed like forever. He thought he had a vague idea of what she wanted to talk about and it made him uncomfortable.

Rose was looking out the clear glass windows at the setting sun. The corridor was bathed in crimson light. Without turning toward him, she asked, "Why aren't you happy for Melody and Remus?"

"I am," he said.

Rose turned to him. "Why are you so against love?" she asked, her deep, unearthly eyes locked on him.

Sirius drew a sharp breath. _Love… _that dangerous territory his heart dared not cross. He had learnt long ago the pain it could bring. He remembered oh so clearly the emotion called heart break. It was a poison that could seep into one's very spirit; a poison that his mind, soul, and body remember too vividly… a poison that lived in his very blood… For him, love did not exist.

"Answer me, Sirius," she pleaded softly. Her eyes held him.

_I shouldn't have kissed her. She's different from the other girls. She has a heart only a monster could bear to break._ Sirius looked into her haunted eyes. His heart throbbed, knowing what he planned to do.

"Love doesn't exist," he whispered, uttering the words he had tried to protect her from. He looked away. He couldn't bear to see the hurt and disappoint in her eyes; could not bear to see the broken heart of the only girl he cared about. Sirius heard her gasp of pain. He felt her misery.

"It meant nothing to you?" she asked in an alien voice. "You felt nothing when you held me and kissed me?" Her heart was in her voice. Sirius could hear a thousand kinds of pain in that voice. He could sense every part of her heat all around him.

"No," he answered, hating himself. He felt a pain like he had never known. That simple little word tasted bitter in his mouth. He looked at anything but her.

He didn't see her tears… he heard them. They fell to the ground. The tiny sounds were magnified ten thousand times in his ears. The sound of her tears sounded like a stone falling from the sky. He felt her turn away.

"We should go to the feast," she said in a small voice. The words trembling with suppressed emotion. Sirius looked up at her. Rose was standing straight, her face devoid of all emotion. If not for the slight wetness on her eyelashes and cheeks, Sirius would have said that she hadn't cried; that this never happened. Her eyes betrayed nothing. She turned swiftly and walked in the direction of the Great Hall.

Sirius stood still for a few moments, his heart pounding hard and fast, a small pin point of pain compared to the sorrow that he was enduring. He closed his eyes and clenched his fist, forcing himself to follow her.


	14. The Marauder's Map

Lily looked up from her food just in time to see Rose enter the Great Hall, followed closely by Sirius. From the slight gap in between them and the tense expression on Sirius's face, she knew that they had had a row.

Rose was expressionless, her eyes and face closed of all emotion. Her graceful gait revealed nothing. If Lily hadn't known her better, she would have said that nothing was amiss.

"Hey!" Lily called softly to her best friend. Rose acknowledged her with a small smile and took an empty seat beside Peter. That left Sirius a seat across from Rose.

Lily could tell that Sirius was desperately trying to catch Rose's eye, but Rose was concentrating too much on arranging and rearranging the food on her golden plate to notice. Lily could see that Rose was tired and in pain. She wasn't eating and after a few more minutes of pushing her food around on her plate, she got up and walked out of the Great Hall without a backward glance, neither at her best friend nor at the guy that every girl wanted: Sirius Black.

xoxox

James stared at his best friend. Sirius looked so miserable. He looked like a broken toy. James glanced at Lily. She was frowning at her plate. Rose had just left the feast looking as much in pain as Sirius.

Ever since the summer when Sirius had run away form home to his house, James had noticed a change in him. Even though he had hated living with his horrible family in that dreadful house, something about leaving had changed him. He didn't talk about it. He didn't even mention it and that was what worried James the most. James looked up as Sirius pushed away his untouched plate of food and stood up.

"Sirius, where are you going?" James asked. Sirius looked at him as though he had just realized there were people around him. Sirius shook his head slightly, smiling, trying to look normal, as though none of the day's events had affected him in the slightest bit. He turned and walked slowly out of the Great Hall, retracing Rose's footsteps. James sighed and frowned. He pushed away his own plate, having lost his appetite.

"What are we going to do with those two?" asked Lily softly. James looked at her. She was offering him a lifeline; her help in trying to help their two best friends. James felt better instantly. He had always been uncertain and nervous where Lily was concerned, afraid that he'd mess up, which he did every single time… until he had gone to Rose for help. He knew that this time, he could not mess up. Too much was at stake. Both Rose and Sirius were at the ends of their emotional chains.

"Well…" James replied, a sudden plan forming in his already excited mind. _This would work… it had to._

xoxox

It was midnight and Rose was no where to be found. Sirius had asked Lily to check up on Rose in the girls' dormitories, but no one was there. He had somehow managed to convince everyone that it would be okay. They were all asleep. He had been waiting for her for almost three hours. He paced in the Gryffindor common room. He was agitated and worried sick. He came to a stop in front of the fireplace. The fire had died down a long time ago.

He ran up to the boys' dormitories and roughly shook James awake.

"Wha… Sirius, what the hell are you doing?" he hissed.

"Where's the map?" Sirius asked, ignoring his friend's glare. James softened.

"She hasn't come back yet?" he asked. Sirius shook his head. "It's in my trunk." Sirius rushed over and rummaged through the trunk. He grabbed the parchment.

"Thanks, Prongs!" he whispered as he ran out of the room. He came back almost immediately and stopped at the sight of James, holding out his invisibility cloak.

"Thanks, mate," he said, grinning. He dashed out of the dormitories with the cloak and enchanted map in his hands.

In the common room, he pulled on the cloak and pulled out his wand. "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." He waited as the curling script ran across the page and revealed a floor plan of Hogwarts along with more than two hundred dots labeled with names.

There was a tiny dot indicating that Rose was about to meet some of the worst people Hogwarts housed… A band of familiar Slytherin names were creeping up slowly behind her.

xoxox

Rose wandered around the seventh floor corridor. _Love doesn't exist…_ Sirius's words echoed in her empty mind. She laughed softly to herself and leaned against the cool stone wall. This was exactly what her restless mind deserved. _Love doesn't exist…_ it made her want to cry.

She looked out the window. The sky was a deep, dark blanket of sapphire… a shade of blue so dark that it was almost black. The stars twinkled, sparkling like gems. The moon was a sliver of silver, a crescent glowing softly amidst a sea of glittering jewels. It was a sight of terrible beauty… it spoke of life and of death; of love and loss. It looked like everything she felt.

Without warning, an unseen force grabbed her from behind. She opened her mouth to scream, but a hand clamped down across her lips.


	15. Kiss of Midnight

"Calm down, Rose," he whispered in her ear as he pulled her into an empty classroom. When he released her, she whipped around to face him.

"Who's there?" she asked in a low voice.

He looked down. _Oops._ He slipped the cloak off his shoulders and let it fall to the ground.

"Sirius," she breathed. She stood frozen in the stream of moonlight that came in through the open window. Her eyes shimmered in the silver light.

"Where have you been, Rose?" he asked softly. "We were all so worried. Lily was ready to go to Dumbledore."

"I went for a walk," she replied, shrugging. She looked away from him and stared out the window at the dark night sky. Sirius felt uncomfortable.

"We should go back, Rose," he said, stepping closer. Either she didn't hear him or she was intentionally ignoring him. Judging by how he had hurt her earlier, he guessed she was ignoring him. Sirius edged closer to Rose until they were only an inch apart. He fought the sudden urge to wave his arms in front of her face like a maniac. "Rose."

She turned and started when she saw how incredibly close he was. He realized that she was about to step away and pulled her into a hug.

xoxox

Rose gasped as she found herself in the arms of Sirius Black, _again_… and it felt like home. For the second time that day, she felt safe.

Despite the fact that her brain was yelling for her not to give in, to step away and protect herself from the world of hurt she would have to endure later, Rose leaned into his warmth. She knew she was being stupid. She knew she was going to end up hurting herself for having feelings for a guy who didn't believe in love.

Sirius pulled back slowly and stared down at her face. She looked up into his dark, unreadable eyes. What had made him this way? Why didn't love exist to him? If she looked hard enough, she could almost see the answer to that question.

Slowly, he dipped his head. He kissed her softly, sweetly, holding her gently. His hands moved up her back and he cupped her face, deepening the kiss. What started out as an innocent, comfort-kiss turned into something more… something that would haunt them both.

xoxox

Sirius didn't know what the hell he was doing, didn't care. All he wanted was to hold her and protect her. He knew he was being an idiot. He knew that this was all wrong, but it felt so right. She didn't belong to him, but she fit perfectly against him, as if they had been made for each other.

Sirius pulled her close and held her tight while his mouth plundered hers. He could think of nothing except how good it felt to just forget and how perfect that moment was. _I lo…_

"No!" he said, barely audible. He forced his heavy eyes to open and stepped back. What was he _doing_?

He looked down into her beautiful eyes, dark with confusion and want. The urge to hug her and keep her safe was overwhelming. He clenched his jaw and forced himself not to move.

"Sirius," she whispered softly. "I—"

"I'm sorry, Rose," he cut in quickly. "I don't know what came over me. I shouldn't have done that." He swallowed.

She closed her mouth and stared at him. Then she nodded and stepped past him, walking out of the room and taking all the warmth that she had just given him with her.

Sirius stood for what seemed like forever and picked up the invisibility cloak. He didn't bother to pull out the map or his wand as he made his way to the Gryffindor common room in the deep stillness of the night.


	16. Fixing and Breaking

"Rose," Professor Slughorn said merrily. "You look like death warmed over! Didn't get enough sleep?" He winked and patted her shoulder.

"I had some stuff I needed to think about," she replied.

"Oh, yes," he said softly, the joyfulness seeping out of his voice. "I'm so very sorry for your loss, my dear." He shook his head slowly. "Your parents were wonderful people."

She looked into his eyes and lowered her gaze to the burn on the table in front of her. "Yes, they were."

The class stopped chatting and stared at the broken girl who was oblivious to all but the burn on the table in front of her. The question that was branded into their minds was, _"Will my family survive this horror?"_

Lily looked over at James. He was staring at Sirius, who was staring at Rose, who was staring at the table, a faraway look on her face. Lily looked down at her hands. She didn't know what to do. James's plan wasn't exactly fool proof. In fact, his plan _sucked_. It was so horrible, it wasn't even funny, but what else could they do?

"Turn to page twenty-five and let's see what you make of this potion!" Professor Slughorn said.

Lily opened her book and flipped to the right page. Her mind wandered. She barely even took in the words on the page. How did everything become so hard? She shook her head and got out the ingredients for the potion. Next to her, Rose was moving slowly, as if she was wading through a thick, heavy haze.

_James's plan _can't_ wait, _Lily thought. _We have to do it today!_

xoxox

James stared at Professor McGonagall. The professor's mouth was moving, but all James could hear was Lily's echoing words. _"Today."_

"This is stupid," he said angrily. Everyone looked up at him, shocked. James felt heat prickling at the back of his neck. _Oops_. "Sorry, Professor," he said quickly. "I was… er… thinking out loud… about something else."

She raised her thin eyebrows and turned away quickly. "Perhaps, Mr. Potter, you feel that my lesson is boring? Maybe you would like to demonstrate it for the class because you already know it?" she asked.

"Of course not, Professor. You are one thousand percent better at it than me," he grinned.

"Hmph!" she scoffed. "Terry, pass these cups out. Everyone get out your wands and practice."

James sighed and slumped down in his seat a little. _Maybe Lily's right_, he thought. _Maybe we_ should _do it today… This is driving me crazy_.

He looked at his blue teacup thoughtfully. _Yes, it's for the best. Just looking at their sad stance makes me feel horrible. Let's just hope this works. _

xoxox

"Where is everyone?" Rose murmured to herself. "Lily?" she called out. _Where is she? _Rose looked around. It was dark in the dank corridor.

She felt a sudden wave of dizziness and threw out her hand. Her head seared with pain. She leaned against the cool wall and closed her eyes against the pain. Her legs shook and she felt weak. Rose felt her eyes water and she turned around slowly, letting her back support her. She slid down the wall slowly and sat down, her back pressed to the cold wall. She leaned her head back and tried to relax, but the pain and nausea was overwhelming. She bit back a small whimper and pulled her knees close to her chest. Rose wrapped her arms around her legs and let her head fall forward, cradling it in her arms. She took a few deep breaths and prayed for the feeling to go away. Her stomach cried out silently with pain. She wondered vaguely when she had last eaten and realized with a start that the answer was yesterday, at breakfast. At the thought of food, her stomach churned and she felt sick. She took a shaky breath and made herself try to stand up. She was half standing, half crouching when she heard his voice. _Oh, no… _she thought to herself. _It's not fair. Why me? _

"Rose, let me help you, please?" Sirius asked softly, concern evident in his deep, soothing voice. Rose looked up at him. She almost fell over because her concentration shifted from trying to stand to his face. He grabbed her arms before she went down and held her close. "Are you okay?" he asked.

Rose nodded and tried to step away, but he still held her arms.

"I'm sorry about last night," he whispered softly. He gently turned her around and led her toward the other end of the corridor.

"Where are you taking me?" she asked, surprised by the hostility in her own voice.

"The kitchen." He didn't seem to mind the tone of her voice.

"No. I'm staying here. I have to wait for Lily," she stated determinedly.

"Oh, Rose," he said, smiling. "Don't you get it? Lily and James set us up. James told me to wait for him here and Lily did the same to you. When James didn't show up and I saw you, I knew they were trying to push us together."

"What!" Rose yelled. She was furious. She had walked all the way down here for nothing. She didn't _want_ to see Sirius. He was the last person on earth she had wanted to be alone with. _Lily, I am going to kill you_.


	17. Pointing Fingers and Punches Galore

"Rose?" Lily exclaimed, jumping up. "What are you doing here?"

Rose said nothing. She didn't even look at her best friend. She walked past her, her eyes staring straight ahead.

"Rose…" Lily said.

"What, Lily?" Rose asked wearily without turning around. Lily fidgeted uncomfortably.

"Are you… okay?" Lily asked cautiously. _She doesn't_ look alright…

"What do you think, Lily?" Rose asked, her voice dripping with hostility. She turned toward Lily, her blue eyes flashing.

Lily stood, rooted to the spot. Rose never got mad… at least never at her. Lily felt tremors of shock running through her body. "I'm… sorry, Rose. I.. I… James and I… well, we wanted to…" Lily stammered.

"You wanted to make Sirius like me? You wanted us to get together and be happy like Remus and Melody? Is that it!" Rose yelled. Tears welled up in her sapphire eyes.

"R… Rose… I…" Lily began. Rose turned away quickly. "Rose, what happened?" Lily asked firmly.

"Nothing!" Rose sniffed. "I'm tired. I'm going to bed. Good night, Lily." Rose walked away swiftly, leaving Lily alone in the common room wondering what had happened to make her best friend so angry…. Rose, who had never so much as raised her voice in all the years they had been friends….

_Sirius_… Lily turned toward the portrait hole. _I'm going to hunt you down and make you pay_.

xoxox

"Sirius? What are _you_ doing here?"

Sirius sat down heavily on the rock. "What do you think, James?"

_Oh, damn,_ James thought. "How would I know? I can't read minds." He looked out over the dark water, his mind racing.

"You know, we've been friends for too long… Let's not lie to each other." Sirius glared at him.

James grudgingly looked at his best friend. He swallowed hard inwardly. Sirius's usual good natured face was livid. He was seething with anger.

_So my plan didn't work out too well after all… Looks like Lily was right. _James's attention shifted as he noticed a particular red head heading towards them with a purposeful stride and murder written all over her face.

"What'd you do, Sirius?" James yelled, jumping up.

"Why do you automatically assume it was _me_!" Sirius retorted. "You know what assuming does!"

_It makes an ass out of you and me…_ James pushed away that thought.

"How can you still make jokes?" James asked incredulously. "What'd you do to Rose?"

"How do you know I did anything to her?" Sirius replied defiantly.

"Because Lily Evans is walking… no _storming_ toward us as we speak! She looks angry, Sirius. ANGRY. What. Did. You. Do!" James shouted.

"Yes, Sirius, do tell us," Lily said sweetly. James jumped up and almost fell over. "What _did_ you do?"

"Why are you guys asking me? Why don't you go ask Rose?" Sirius yelled. "Why can't you all just leave me alone!" He started to walk away, but James grabbed his arm. Sirius didn't even bother to look at him; instead, he pulled back his free arm and punched James in the jaw.

"James!" Lily squeaked as she dropped to her knees and grabbed his shoulders. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, fine," James grunted.

"Sirius, come back here!" Lily yelled.

"Just let him go," James said. Lily knelt next to him, her eyes following Sirius's retreating back. James sighed as he looked at his best friend. "We've never had a serious fight before."

Lily looked at James. Could things get any worse?


	18. Running Away

Melody looked at Remus. This definitely wasn't good. Sirius was a complete mess. None of them knew where in the world he had been for the past few hours. He had disappeared just as Rose had the night before. They had just discovered him passed out in front of the fire in the common room.

"He looks like he's just fought off half the Slytherins," Melody whispered to Remus. "What happened?"

Remus frowned at Sirius's unmoving body. "James and Lily… they said something about Rose… James told me that something happened between them and when they had tried to get Sirius to talk, he punched James! In all the years that we've known each other, James and Sirius have never really fought. Especially not physically. Muggle fighting…" Remus shook his head and blew out a deep breath.

Melody looked over at the girls' dormitories. Lily was in there with Rose, who refused to come out. James was in the hospital wing because Lily made him go and get Madam Pomfrey to look at his ugly bruise.

"What should we do?" she asked softly and sat down next to Remus on the ground.

"There's not much we can do, except maybe to stay here and make sure he doesn't run off again." Remus put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close.

"Our friends are a mess," Melody said, leaning her head against him.

"It'll be okay." Remus kissed the top of her head lovingly and gave her shoulders a small, reassuring squeeze.

They sat in silence, watching Sirius, wondering what disaster would befall them next.

xoxox

"Rose," Lily said softly, wearily.

"No," Rose replied, hugging her knees. "I don't care what happened to him… I don't care if he looks like he fought half the Slytherins. It's his own fault. I hate him. Leave me alone, Lily." Rose turned away and faced the wall. Lily sighed and sat heavily on the floor. How did things turn out so badly so quickly?

"Rose, please," Lily pleaded softly. "We found him passed out on the floor, but he's been unconscious for almost half an hour. Besides, he punched James today because we were trying to get him to tell us what happened between you two."

Rose stiffened, but she didn't turn around.

"Sirius looks like death not quite warmed over. Come see him, please?" Lily asked. "I don't know what happened between you two, but there's nothing that can't be fixed if you two just try talking it out… again."

Rose turned around slowly, her face expressionless. "Fine. I'll go see him, but I don't want any of you with me. I want to do this alone."

Lily considered her request for a moment. "Okay… but he's really not up for anything that has anything to do with fighting and screaming and extreme emotions unless they're of the good kind…"

Rose got up and went toward the door of the girls' dormitories without saying a word. She paused and took a deep breath before pushing open the door. Lily remained on the bed, frozen, not wanting to know what would happen next because she had a good feeling that this would not go very well…

xoxox

Sirius looked around the Great Hall and sighed. _Another day of nothing but classes_, he thought. Instantly, he lost his appetite and poked at the eggs on his plate with his fork. He had woken up with a killer headache, feeling even worse. _I can't remember a thing about yesterday_, he thought. _No, that's a lie… I had a fight with Rose, punched my best friend, ran off into the woods after transforming into a dog, had a nice chat with some giant spiders, and passed out in the common room… of course _then_, I shouted at Rose again after returning to the world of the conscious and ran away like a coward_. Sirius felt guilty, frustrated, and stupid. _Why can't I say anything I want to say? What's wrong with me? Everytime I try to tell Rose that I care for her, I end up _screaming _at her… I don't deserve to live_. He groaned and buried his head in his arms. He was driving himself crazy and hurting everyone who cared for him in the process. While he sat ignoring the world around him, his friends came into the Great Hall and sat down around him. Rose somehow ended up across from him.

He looked up and noticed something strange. Dumbledore seemed to be welcoming a new student… a new _girl_ student… a new _pretty_ girl student. She had strawberry blond hair and gray, sparkling eyes. She was only a few inches shorter than him and she had a graceful elegance that she had probably inherited from her parents.

When the Great Hall was full, Dumbledore had McGonagall bring out the old Sorting Hat and in front of everyone, she was sorted into Gryffindor. Her name was Rowena Vokova.

_So she's Russian_, thought Sirius as Rowena walked toward him, smiling warmly. She sat down gracefully next to him and said, "Hi, I'm Rowena." Sirius Black smiled back at the pretty girl in front of him. He could feel Lily, Melody, James, and Remus's glares and he knew that Rose would be looking at anywhere else but him.

"Hello Rowena, I'm Sirius… Sirius Black."


	19. Jealousy and Hurt Go Hand in Hand

"Did you see the new girl?"

"Yeah, she's pretty."

"No kidding, but guess what?"

"What?"

"Guess who she's 'friends' with?"

"How would I… NO WAY! Sirius Black?"

"Yeah. You should have seen them holding hands in the hall and laughing together. It was kind of sickening to watch."

Rose blocked out the rest of the conversation between the two Ravenclaw girls and attempted to concentrate on watch she was doing, but it was no use. Everytime she tried to think about something else, all she saw was the color red and Sirius with Rowena. She wanted to scream. It just wasn't fair.

"Rose? Rose!"

Rose looked up. It was Lily. "Oh, hi Lily. Is something wrong?" Rose asked.

"Um, yeah. Class is over." Lily looked at her worriedly. "Is something the matter with you?"

"Oh, no, of course not. Why would there be something wrong with me?" Rose asked in a forced, cheerful voice. "Let's go." She grabbed her stuff and practically ran into the hall. She immediately regretted it.

"Oh." Lily froze on the spot and stared with her mouth slightly open.

It was Rowena and Sirius, _kissing_. Rose wanted to stab her own eyes out. She wished she were blind. She wished she couldn't understand what they were doing and why. Rose turned toward Lily and tried not to cry. She knew that Lily would do something to comfort her, like attacking Sirius. Rose didn't want to wait around for that to happen. Her heart and her sanity couldn't stand it. She turned around blindly and ran.

Lily was torn between running after Rose and murdering Sirius on the spot along with his new girlfriend.

"Hey, Lily."

Lily turned to find herself facing James. "Oh, hi James."

"Only Sirius, huh?" he said, looking at his best friend.

"I suppose you saw Rose running away just now?" Lily asked. She didn't wait for a response; she didn't need to. "They met, what? An hour ago?" Lily said with disgust. "He is such a conceited, arrogant jerk! I can't believe this!" Lily said, laughing bitterly. She turned and walked in the direction Rose had gone.

"You and me both," James said, walking alongside her. Lily was so surprised, she stopped and accidentally dropped her books.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean," James said, bending down and picking up her stuff. "I don't know who he is anymore. I have absolutely no idea what he's thinking or feeling and I don't know what happened to the guy that was my best friend."

Lily stared at James, stunned.

"Ever since the summer, when he ran away from home, he's been distant," James said softly, looking over his shoulder at Sirius.

"He what!" Lily all but shouted.

"Oh, yes. He ran away. His family…" James trailed off. "I don't suppose you know what they're like?"

"Judging from the way Regulus turned out, I think I have a slight idea." Lily frowned and looked over at Sirius, who was now laughing at something Rowena said.

"He ran to my parents' house and spent the summer with us. I've been worried about him, but he won't even mention it. He pretends it never happened." James sighed.

"You think that's why he's been such a jerk toward Rose?" Lily asked skeptically.

"Well, no," James replied. "I just figured you should know that Sirius is in a lot of pain too."

Lily looked down at the ground and sighed. Things were getting more and more complicated by the second. "I'm still not going to forgive him for hurting Rose. She deserves better. She just lost her parents and we're all she has." Lily felt hot tears prickling her eyes. She blinked furiously.

James tilted her head up slightly and looked into her eyes. "I know, Lily. We will do everything we can for Rose. We all care about her… as for Sirius, I can't promise anything. He'll just have to come to terms by himself…" James smiled at her. "It'll be okay, Lily."

Lily looked into his gorgeous hazel eyes and was startled to find that she believed him wholeheartedly. It was funny how in those few short days, James Potter had become one of the people she trusted the most.

xoxox

Rose stared at the ground. She was sitting in the courtyard and it was unbearably hard not to cry. She made herself take a deep breath. _When did I fall in love with_ him_? Why him? What's wrong with me? Why am I so weak? Why can't I just get over it? _Her brain screamed at her constantly. When she could forget, when she had those moments of blankness, she'd sigh with relief that she could feel nothing and then she'd be back to where she began… thinking, torturing herself with stupid questions.

"Hi!" a voice said brightly.

Rose snapped out of her trance, ready to smile and make a reply. Her words died on her lips as soon as they had formed in her mind. _Oh, no. I'm not ready for this. Go away!_ She forced herself to eat her own thoughts. Devour them completely.

"Hi," she replied softly, managing a passable human smile.

"I'm Rowena!" the beautiful girl said, smiling widely. Her smile was captivating.

"I know. I saw you get sorted. We're in the same house." _And we like the same guy. The same stupid guy._ Rose didn't even try to smile. It was useless. She had lost control of her brain hours ago.

"Oh," Rowena said. She nodded thoughtfully. "What's your name?"

"Rose."

"That's a really pretty name. Are you in the seventh year?" Rowena asked, flipping her strawberry blond hair over her shoulder absentmindedly.

"Yeah." _So much for attempting to be normal again. I can't even make interesting conversation._

Rowena's smile faded slightly as she realized that Rose was almost completely detached from the conversation. _Ha! Took you long enough, _Rose thought. _Where did that come from? Am I _jealous?

"Well, it was nice talking to you, Rose!" Rowena said, smiling again. This time, Rose grinned. _Finally, she's leaving!_

"Oh, wait. Do you know where Sirius is? I was walking with him and then when we got here, he disappeared. I told him to come with me to introduce the two of us. He said that he knows you!" Rowena explained. She tilted her head.

Rose was speechless. _So, he left her in order not to see me…_ Rose felt her heart give another lurch. _How could I have been so stupid?_ She took a deep breath. "No, I don't know where he is. I'm sure you'll find him when you leave. He's probably just inside."

"Well, bye then!" Rowena called as she ran for the doors into the castle of Hogwarts. Rose stared at her shiny hair as she disappeared into the castle. She turned her attention to the lake and got up. She walked slowly toward the weeping willow beside the black waters, choosing to focus on another painful memory, one that brought her bittersweet happiness… one that surrounded her with the love of her lost parents… one that could not possibly break her heart, because how can something break when it no longer existed?


	20. Finding Courage

James stared at his best friend. Sirius had changed in more ways than any of them could have imagined. He was sitting there, laughing, with Rowena practically sitting in his lap while Rose sat in the opposite corner of the room. She was by herself, looking out the window at the dark, evening grounds. Lily had tried to talk to her, to comfort her, but Rose wanted to be alone. Now Lily sat beside James, staring at Rose as though she was afraid that Rose would just evaporate into thin air.

Rose's face was tranquil. James couldn't even begin to imagine how she felt, but he thought he knew what she was thinking. It was Friday. The next day would be the funeral. Throughout the week, Rose said little, ate seldom, and smiled not once. She was thinner than before and she was pale, but somehow, she still retained her natural beauty.

James glared at Sirius. His best friend's actions were starting to annoy him and he knew he wasn't the only one who felt that way. Sirius's little fan club of girls glared at Rowena everywhere she went. They laughed at her behind her back and criticized her very being. They were sometimes hostile to Sirius as well, which surprised James more than anything else. Melody kept her distance and would not permit herself to be within ten feet of Sirius, which meant that Remus was also at least nine feet away from Sirius most of the time. Remus refused to look at Sirius when he was with Rowena anyways, so it made no difference. Lily pretended that Sirius didn't exist… and Rose seemed to have left the world of the living entirely. James hadn't spoken more than five words to Sirius the entire week because every time he tried to approach him, Sirius was always attached to Rowena at the lips.

Rose suddenly stood up and walked determinedly out of the common room. She didn't seem to notice that she was in a room full of people.

"Rose?" Lily called out, standing up. Rose looked at Lily and shook her head slightly, smiling softly. Her first smile in a week. Lily sank back down next to James.

James looked over at Sirius and noticed that although Sirius Black had his arm around Rowena and was smiling, his eyes were following Rose… A dark shadow glinted in his dark brown eyes as Rose Larkspur climbed out of the portrait hole, disappearing into the darkness of the corridor.

xoxox

They had somehow found the long black dress that her mother had bought her for her seventeenth birthday. It was beautiful. It was an evening gown, but she wore it to the funeral anyways. It was one of the only things that she had left as a reminder of her mother. Rose put on the tear-drop silver necklace that had been in the velvet box found with the dress. She studied her reflection in the tall mirror and found that she could not recognize the face staring back. The girl in the mirror; her eyes were dark and full of pain, full of a hundred years of age. She was pale and thin, almost sickly looking… Rose realized how incredibly fragile and glass like she looked… how weak. Rose reached out and touched the cool surface, reaching out as the girl inside reached back. She closed her eyes and sighed softly. A soft knock made her look up. It was Lily and Melody.

"Hi," Rose said softly.

"Rose." They both went and stood around her. "Are you okay?"

Rose nodded. "I'm home…" she looked around Mr. Bailey's house. It was her home now. "We should go." Her friends nodded and hugged her.

"You look beautiful, Rose," Lily whispered, smiling through her tears at her friend's strength. Melody smiled and nodded.

Rose took a deep breath and blinked away her own tears. She led her friends out of the elaborate bedroom, out of the Victorian house and across the cotton soft grass to the weeping willow that stood behind what used to be her house. There, gathered were wizards and witches… all the people who had known and loved her parents. Rose faltered when she saw the two coffins lying side by side, gleaming in the sunlight. Roses covered them, along with a single larkspur each. Rose stared at the boxes that held the bodies of her beloved parents and looked down at the ground. Lily and Melody each took one of her hands and gently led her forward. They squeezed her hands in support and Rose glanced at the two of them in turn, touched by their love and care.

She let go of their hands reluctantly and went to the table of roses. She picked up the two bouquets of red, white, and pink-tipped roses that had been arranged for her. Rose walked toward the coffins slowly, looking straight ahead, her eyes locked on the polished boxes, seeing nothing but the roses… the flowers of love. She placed the bouquets on each of the caskets and knelt between them. She bent her head slightly as a gentle breeze picked up. Her hair cascaded around her face and sunlight danced across the corners of her eyes. She thought of her parents and realized why they had died. They had died to protect her, to ensure that even if they left, they would leave knowing that they did something to protect their little girl. They had died to make sure that she would live and get a chance to be happy… to see the world. _And I won't waste it, lusting after a guy who doesn't believe in love… I deserve better._

Rose stood up. "I love you," she whispered to the two people she had loved the most in the world… "Always and forever." She stepped back and let everyone else pay their respects. As each white rose was placed on the caskets, Rose felt stronger. She would do what her parents had done. She would continue their fight against Voldemort for the people that she cared about…

She looked at Sirius and Rowena. _There are more important things in the world than my own happiness. He doesn't know what love is. He could never love me anyways._


	21. How Do You Do THAT?

James yawned. He had been staring off into space for quite a while now. He looked at Remus and Peter. They were his friends, but it just wasn't the same as having Sirius around. None of them had really talked to him over the past few weeks. After the funerals, Sirius had become even more detached from them.

Rose seemed to be doing well… if you counted living on work doing well. She threw herself into her studies. Lily had told him that Rose was drowning herself in her classes to become an Auror for the Ministry one day. James thought it might also have had something to do with forgetting her pain, but he had kept quiet on the subject of Sirius. Around Lily and Melody, Sirius was a dangerous subject. They ignored his existence and whenever someone had mentioned his name, they would glance quickly at Rose if she was around. Sirius had become a hated disease. Rose didn't talk about him much… she didn't talk much at all. She could usually be seen with her head buried in a book, working on some complicated essay or another.

James looked at Remus. He was the lucky one. Somehow, he had gotten the girl of his dreams… with a little help from Rose.

James wanted to be with Lily more than anything else in the world, but he couldn't work up the courage to talk to really talk to her about anything other than Rose. He also couldn't bring himself to ask Rose for help where Lily was concerned. It seemed selfish. He knew above all else that he also couldn't win Lily over easily without some sort of guidance. The headstrong red head was the biggest challenge on legs he had ever met and every single time he had tried to win her love, he had come out looking like a big, fat idiot.

James frowned. The one thing that he needed help for was the one thing he couldn't bring himself to ask help for. _What am I going to do?_

xoxox

"Hey, Rose."

Rose looked up from her potions book. "Oh, hey James," she whispered back.

"I know you're under a lot of stress right now and uh… I was just wondering… er… I was wondering… Can you help me with something?" he blurted in a rush.

"Sure." Rose marked her place and put down her book. "Want to go out for a walk? I've been inside all day. You can tell me all about this problem of yours along the way." She stretched and gathered her stuff.

"Great idea!" he replied, relieved.

Rose took her stuff to the girls' dormitories and met James outside the portrait hole.

"So, what's up?" Rose asked as she stepped over a crack on the ground.

"Well, you know how you agreed to help me with my… uh… Lily problem?" James asked softly, looking around.

Rose laughed. "Oh, James… you've been worrying about this the whole week, haven't you?" She smiled at him. "You didn't actually think that I'd endanger the happiness of my best friend just because I had just gone through a traumatic experience did you?

"You guys belong together… Lily just has a hard time believing that. Don't worry though, she will soon enough." Rose sighed.

"So how do I win her over?" James asked.

"Be her knight in shining armor… everything she would want plus all that she can't resist, but be true to yourself."

James stopped and frowned at her, his mouth hanging slightly open. "How do you do that!"

Rose laughed. "One step at a time, Potter. Don't worry, Lily will be yours. You two are a match made in heaven. The hardest part will be convincing her, so… first..."

James looked at the mischievous light in her electrifying blue eyes and knew that he had a long way to go and a hell of a lot to learn.

xoxox

Melody gaped at Rose. "What?" she asked. "Are you feeling okay?"

"Oh, come on, Mel," Rose said. "Do it for me? Please?"

"But… do you think it's a good idea?" Melody asked.

"Mel, think about it… if we don't even try to intervene, do you think she'll ever get over her stubbornness?" Rose asked.

Melody sighed and looked at Rose. "I guess not, but are you sure about this?"

"Of course I'm sure. She's my best friend. I care about her. There's always a risk that it might not go so well, but we have to try." Rose smiled.

"Well… okay. I'll do it." Melody smiled. _It's worth a shot._


	22. Kissing James

Lily stood in front of the Shrieking Shack alone. She shivered slightly as a particularly strong current of wind blew past her. She jumped up and down for a few moments, trying to keep herself warm against the bitter cold.

"UGH! This is ridiculous…" she muttered. _I could be at the Three Broomsticks, having some nice, warm butterbeer…_ She almost drooled at the thought.

"Hi, Lily."

Lily turned around and found herself facing the one and only, James Potter.

xoxox

"Um, hi, James." Lily blushed.

James shifted shoved his hands in his pockets and looked at the ground… anywhere but her beautiful face. He stared at a twig on the ground. "So, do you want to go to the Three Broomsticks?" he asked, his voice suddenly changing gears. His question came out like a mouse squeak. He could feel heat rushing to his face and he cleared his throat. Lily laughed, tilting her head back. James looked up at her and found himself joining in. "So, uh, do you want to go? It's kind of cold out here."

"_Kind of_? It's like, below freezing!" Lily grinned. "I'd love to go. After standing out here, I'm going to need ten butterbeers to warm up."

James smiled and walked beside her. They strolled along in a comfortable silence.

"So, what are you thinking about doing after Hogwarts?" Lily asked, looking at him.

"Hmm… life after Hogwarts," James said thoughtfully. "Well, to tell you the truth, I've been thinking more and more lately about it… and the truth is, I have absolutely no idea." Lily burst out laughing. James grinned. "It's true. At first, I thought about becoming an Auror, but then… I don't know. I want to help defeat Voldemort because he and his supporters are ruining everything, hurting everyone, but then, I realized that what we're up against is real and evil. I think there are better ways of fighting him…" James trailed off, thinking about something he had heard his parents mention once… Dumbledore's secret group of fighters, the Order of the Phoenix.

"Better ways?" Lily asked. "Like what?"

James looked into her soulful emerald eyes. "It's a secret."

"That's not fair. What if I want to help you or something?" Lily challenged.

James stopped. "No. Absolutely not."

"Why not?" Lily asked, her voice full of stubbornness and fire.

"Because… because you can't," he replied, not quite sure what to say.

"Why? Because I'm a girl? Or because you think I'm just not good enough?" she asked, her voice rising dangerously.

"No!" James replied. He saw her mouth opening and knew she was about to start shouting. Without thinking, he grabbed her by the shoulders and kissed her. Lily didn't fight back, she didn't respond. He put all of his feelings into that kiss and wished, hoped she would understand just how much he cared for her. She came alive in his arms and kissed him back with a ferocity that shocked them both. James took a deep breath as he pulled away.

"I think you're the best thing in my life, Lily… even if you won't date me. You're the most beautiful and the most wonderful girl that I have ever met. If anything, I hold you higher than I see myself." James looked down at the ground and kicked a small rock.

Lily stared at him, shocked speechless, her hand touching her lips. "Then… why not?"

"Because I don't want you to get hurt." James willed himself to gaze into her eyes and found them shimmering with tears.

"Oh, James," she whispered and threw her arms around him.

James, stunned as he was, had the sense to hug her back and hold her close. He was finally holding the girl of his dreams and it felt like everything he had ever thought it would feel like, and so much more.

xoxox

Rose looked up to see Lily and James entering the common room together. Lily's face was cherry red and her hand was in James's. They were looking at each other as if the rest of the world did not exist. Rose smiled to herself and looked back down at her book.

She read one line and sighed heavily. She closed it and gathered her papers, shoved everything into her bag and went up to the girls' dormitories.


	23. Pretending and Wounding

Lily smiled shyly at James. "Okay."

James grinned and tugged gently on her hand, leading her back out of the common room.

Sirius stared at them in wonder and shock… _So, Rose, you were right. All he needed was a little growing up…_ Sirius looked up and over at Rose just as she disappeared up the stairs leading to the girls' dormitories.

"Hey, Sirius!"

Sirius turned in the direction of the voice. It was Rowena. She smiled and threw her arms around him, almost knocking him over.

"Hi Rowena." He reached back and took her arms away from his neck. She had too much energy.

"I was wondering…"

A scream sounded from outside the portrait hole. Everyone ran outside to find…an appalling sight.

"What do you think you're doing?" Rose yelled, running forward. She had her wand out and pointed at the heart of the unfortunate person responsible. "Get the hell away from them!" she screamed.

The Gryffindors glared at the rat-faced Slytherin backing away from the two Gryffindors on the ground.

"_Snivellous?_" Sirius asked. He stepped forward from the crowd and glared at Snape. His gaze traveled downward, toward the two people on the ground. James was lying on the ground, unconscious, and Lily was in tears beside him. Sirius looked up, his eyes flashing. In the blink of an eye, he whipped out his wand. Before Snape could so much as open his mouth, he found himself on the ground, his face covered with purple pimples. Everyone laughed loudly and watched as Snape scamper off.

Rose knelt down by Lily. "What happened?" She put a gentle hand on her best friend's shoulder.

"We didn't see him. He came out of nowhere… and James, he saw him first. He was trying to protect me, I guess. He's so stupid," she said, laughing.

"Didn't you have your wand?" Sirius asked incredulously.

"Disarming spell," Lily said, not looking at him.

Rose looked around and spotted James's and Lily's wands on the ground. She summoned them and gave Lily back her wand. "We should probably take him to the hospital wing. Madame Pomfrey will know what to do with him."

Lily conjured a stretcher and Rose levitated James onto it. "Hey, Lily, why don't you go with Remus and get James his cloak or something? It's kind of cold out here."

Lily looked at Rose for a moment, reluctant to leave James. "Okay," she said hesitantly. She looked at James for a moment and left with Remus.

As soon as they were gone, Rose prodded James in the side. "You big liar."

"Ow," he whined. "That hurt. You didn't have to poke me in the side with your _wand_."

The spectators all laughed as they realized what Rose had known all along… James Potter had been faking it the whole time, for a special girl who was finally, _finally_ giving him the attention he had always wanted.

"So… how long are you going to keep this up, Potter?" Rose asked conversationally.

"Oh, not too long. I still have to go out on a date with her, you know." James grinned.

"I see..." Rose said, smiling. "Just don't let her find out, James, or else—"

"You're dead, Potter!" Lily shrieked from behind the small crowd. She had her wand raised. The smile froze on James's face as he realized the full horror of the situation.

"Uh oh," breathed Remus. He cast a terrified look over at Melody, but she wasn't paying attention to him.

Melody and Rose were both slowly moving toward Lily, ready to restrain her. Rose kept an eye on Lily and nodded at Melody. Simultaneously, they grabbed her arms.

"Let me go!" she screamed. "I can't _believe_ you two were in on this, with _him_!" she shouted.

"Lily, calm down," Rose said. "If we didn't help you, how were you ever going to see the truth?"

"That he is a stupid jerk?" Lily asked, laughing. "I hate you, James Potter!" she yelled at him.

"He is not a stupid jerk, Lily. He loves you."

"Oh, yeah, right." Lily laughed bitterly. "All those things that he said to me, he got them from you, didn't he, Rose?"

"No, Lily, he didn't. I have no idea what he said to you," Rose answered calmly.

"Don't lie to me," Lily said. "I've been protecting you this whole time, trying to help you. Defending you! Keeping big bad Sirius away, not permitting anyone to mention his name near you and all the while, you've been helping James! You don't know anything about love, Rose! Look what happened between you and Sirius! Though I can't blame you, he _is_ James Potter's friend after all."

Rose didn't reply. She let go of Lily's right arm and backed away from her best friend slowly. Her face was as pale as the snow falling gently outside. Tears filled her beautiful, shattered blue eyes as she slowly shook her head. Everyone stared at her. Everyone except for Melody and James, who were staring at Lily in horror.

Lily, who seemed to finally realize what she had said, tried to apologize. "Rose, I'm so sorry… I… I didn't mean any of that." She looked at Rose pleadingly, but it was too late.

Rose took a deep breath. This was the deepest cut of all. As the first tear fell from her eye, she backed away from everyone around her. She didn't look at anyone but Lily, her blue eyes filled with the hurt she refused to show after the funeral. _I can't do this anymore_, she thought. _I'm sorry, Mommy, Daddy… I've failed you._

For what seemed like the thousandth time that month, Rose Larkspur turned and ran… Rose Larkspur, who had always stood her ground, who had never given up a fight so easily in all of her life.

"Rose!"

She recognized the owner of that voice, but she ran all the faster because of it. _No, Sirius, you've done enough already. Please stop hurting me. I can't do this anymore_.


	24. Casualties Mounting in the War of Love

Lily stared at the bend in the corridor. _What have I done_? She turned to Melody, but before she could even get a good look at her best friend, Melody slapped her. The whispers of the Gryffindor crowd around them stopped suddenly. Lily knew that if their roles had been reversed she would have done the same thing. She deserved this slap.

"If there is one person you should not have hurt, Lily, it was her," Melody said, her voice breaking. "Everything that she's done concerning James, she has done for you. And you, hurting her because of something that _he_ did…" Melody said, jerking her head in Sirius's direction. Melody shook her head.

Lily stared at her, knowing that every word was true. She looked at James. How many people had she hurt with those stupid words? James was staring at the ground and Lily knew that James agreed with everything Melody had said. She turned silently in the direction that Rose had gone. She wasn't going to find Rose; she was going to relive and regret because she deserved every single moment of misery that she had just earned.

xoxox

Sirius watched with a thundering heart as Rose disappeared. He looked back at Rowena. Her mouth was open and there was a world of hurt in her eyes, but he couldn't bring himself to apologize for shouting _her_ name.

"If there is one person you should not have hurt, Lily, it was her. Everything that she's done concerning James, she has done for you. And you, hurting her because of something that _he_ did…" Melody said, jerking her head in his direction. Sirius looked up. He could see the disgust in her eyes.

He had known that he would have no allies the moment he had made the decision to be with Rowena. Even Peter wouldn't hang around with him, but that wasn't saying much. What did hurt was the way Remus and James treated him. Did it really matter that he was with Rowena instead of Rose? Why did they all care so much? It was his choice after all… wasn't it?

xoxox

"James."

James opened his eyes and looked around him. It was completely dark, but he could make out the distinct shape of Sirius, standing by his bed.

"No, Sirius," James said before his best friend could even open his mouth. "I won't help you. Not this time."

Sirius stared at him silently. "You don't even know what I was going to ask."

"Oh, I think I do," James countered. "I won't give you the Invisibility Cloak or the Marauder's map."

Sirius blinked.

"You have Rowena. Why do you care what happens to Rose?" James asked. "She wants to be alone right now… she _needs_ to be alone."

"And what if she does something stupid?" Sirius retorted hotly.

"That's none of your concern, Sirius," James replied calmly. "And she won't do anything stupid. Rose is a smart girl. She knows the value of her life and she won't waste it on something like this."

Sirius stared at James, disgusted. "James—"

"Let it go, Sirius." James sighed. "You went after her once and you and I both know how that turned out. Leave her alone and give her some peace. You've done enough damage."

"Is that what you think I've done?" Sirius shouted.

"What's going on?"

James and Sirius looked over at Remus. Sirius looked away determinedly and clenched his jaw.

"Nothing, Moony," James replied. "Go back to sleep."

"If it has anything to do with Rose and what happened today, I agree with James," Remus said. Sirius spun toward him angrily.

"What do you mean?" he asked quietly.

"Sirius, you know how much James and I care for you. We've been friends for too long now to let something like this tear us apart," Remus replied. "But there are some things that we can't and won't help you with. You're hurt, Sirius, but you're hurting her more. I don't know what you thought you were doing when you went to Rowena and dumped Rose to one side, but what happens to her doesn't concern you anymore.

"I'm sorry, Sirius, but you… you don't deserve her." Remus looked away, the weight of his own words disgusting even him. "You've waltzed through the lives of a lot of girls in this school, Padfoot and none of them deserve to feel this kind of hurt… Some of them should _never_ feel it because they can't survive through it… they love too much," Remus said, looking up at the ceiling, thinking about his conversation with Rose in front of the Shrieking Shack. She had taught him about love and its ramifications… the happiness that it can bring if only the risk was willingly taken.

Sirius stared at him. "So you're saying that all of this is my fault?" he asked.

"No, Sirius," Remus answered. "It's not your fault. Not all of it, but you did hurt Rose in her weakest moments. Couldn't you have just waited?" he shouted. "What is your problem?"

James raised his eyebrows in astonishment. He had never seen Remus lose control this way before, but he knew why Remus was so incredibly angry. "Remus, mate," James interrupted softly. Remus turned to him, frustration crossing over his features.

"Wha?"

"What's going on?"

James looked around and sighed. They had woken up everyone else. "It's fine. We'll just go somewhere else. Go back to sleep!" He got up out of his bed and led Sirius and Remus to the common room.

"Look, you two are my best friends," James said. "We've always been and I want it to stay that way for the rest of our lives. We have to work this out. I miss being able to talk to my best mates without feeling so damn awkward!"

Remus looked at the ground silently. Sirius expressed nothing.

"Moony, Padfoot," James began.

"No, James," Remus cut in. "This has gone on for too long. I can't stand aside and do nothing. Maybe you don't see it, but I do! It disgusts me!"

"Remus, I know why you feel the way you do, but you have to listen!" James said. For once, it was Remus who needed the "calm down" speech.

"No, you don't!" Remus countered. He turned on Sirius. "She is the most kind person I have ever met and probably the most loving. You can't keep doing this to her! She doesn't deserve this!" He glared fiercely at Sirius and walked away.

James stared at Remus's retreating back. _What is going on here_? He turned toward Sirius.

"If you won't help me, James, I don't see any need for us to speak to each other," Sirius said coldly.

"Sirius," James said.

"Night." Sirius turned and made his way up the stairs to the boy's dormitories, seeming to have forgotten about his quest to find Rose. James stared at the cold steps and shook his head, lost.

"What just happened?" he asked out loud. He sank down on an armchair as nothing but silence echoed all around.


	25. Healing and Regretting

Rose made her decision and quickly entered the Forbidden Forest, diving behind a giant tree. She watched Hagrid walk in through the castle doors and let out a sigh of relief. She knew that Hagrid would understand why she was out here, but she didn't have the strength to face anyone. She leaned her head against the hard trunk of the tree and closed her eyes. She knew that Lily had only said those words out of anger, but somehow, they had reached deeper into her heart than she thought possible. She whipped around as she heard the snapping of a twig and found herself face to face with a werewolf. Rose gasped and backed up against the tree. Her mind was blank.

The werewolf growled and stepped closer. Rose plunged her hand into her pocket for her wand. The werewolf seemed to understand what she was doing and with a growl of rage, it leapt at her. Rose knew she couldn't pull her wand out in time. She had reacted too slowly.

A black figure leapt out of the darkness and tackled the werewolf to the ground. Rose felt her legs shake beneath her as her knees seemed to turn to jelly. The black figure was a big, shaggy dog. It snarled at the werewolf and stood in front of her, facing the werewolf, daring it to come closer. Rose pointed her wand at the werewolf. "Get out of the way!" she shouted to the dog. It leapt to the side just as she launched a stunning spell at the werewolf. It jumped out of the way with a whine and ran off into the forest.

Rose breathed heavily, blinking slowly. She looked at the dog. It tilted its head at her, its tail wagging slowly back and forth. Rose swallowed, her mouth suddenly dry. "Come on," she said to it, knowing that it would understand.

She stopped at the castle doors and looked down at the big black dog. For some reason, the dog seemed to look human. Rose kneeled down beside it and looked into its dark eyes. She reached out. The dog flinched slightly. "I won't hurt you," she said softly. She pet its face gently and the dog leaned into her hand, wagging its tail happily. She scratched its ear and ran her fingers through its soft coat. "You saved my life." She kissed its head softly. "Thank you." The dog tilted its head and licked her hand.

Rose smiled at the dog and rubbed its face affectionately. "I'm going back inside… I'm sorry, but you can't come with me." Rose looked over her shoulder at the castle. "I'll bring you something tomorrow night, though, okay?" The dog barked and licked her face. Rose scratched its ear and stood up. "Night!"

The dog sat down and stared at her, seemingly wanting her to go in before it left. She smiled at it and went back inside.

xoxox

"Mister Black!" McGonagall called out sharply. "Perhaps you would like to join us here in the world of the living? Move over there next to Rose and pay attention."

Rose froze. There was a reason why she chose a sit in the back, alone. She looked at McGonagall pleadingly, but the professor was already facing the board again. Sirius sat in his seat next to Rowena, staring at McGonagall's back in horror. He looked over at Rose, but she was in shock too.

"Mister Black! Move!" McGonagall said. "Now!"

Sirius got up slowly and gathered his stuff. He walked over to Rose's table and sat down silently. Rose stared at the front of the classroom nonchalantly, trying desperately to control her pounding heart.

"Pull out your wands and try to transform your ravens into owls."

Rose took out her wand, determinedly looking into its black beady eyes. She tapped the raven on the head with a whipping motion silently and it turned into a snowy owl almost immediately.

"Good, Miss Larkspur! Twenty points to Gryffindor!" McGonagall said. She turned around and went to inspect how the other students were doing. Rose transformed the owl back into a raven and got out her potions book, trying to finish her essay that was to be due the next day. Sirius sat beside her silently, not transfiguring his raven, not really doing anything but sitting with his hands behind his head. Rose tried to ignore his presence. She read the words, but none of it really stuck in her mind. She closed her eyes for a few seconds and sighed. _I can do this… he's just a guy_. She opened her eyes and read the first line in her book, but her mind was still a blank. _Okay… No, I can't_.

"Rose, are you ignoring me or are you really trying to concentrate?" Sirius asked.

Rose turned around and faced him. Finally, she had a chance to vent out her anger. "Leave me alone, Sirius. You're so full of yourself that if you drank any water, you'd explode." She turned back to her book, her heart pounding and her mind racing. _That felt good_. She read over the first paragraph of the page and began to write. _I'm going to be okay_.

xoxox

Sirius had been sitting with his chair tilted back on two legs, but when she said those words, he fell forward with a thump. He stared at her as she bent over the parchment writing in a tiny script. He knew he should have been glad that she was moving on, that she was strong, but he couldn't help but feel slightly hurt at her words. It was a great comeback and it was something along the lines of what he had wanted. He would have laughed if it had not hurt him so.

Sirius pulled out his wand and transformed the raven into a handsome tawny in little than a second and transformed it back again. "Twenty points for Mr. Black!"

He smiled weakly at Rowena when she beamed at him. _Is this really what I want?_


	26. Werewolf Howls and Nervous First Dates

Rose paused, her fork halfway to her mouth.

"Remus! You look horrible!" Melody said worriedly. "What happened?"

"Nothing… It's nothing," he replied. When he saw the look on her face he retaliated. "I… I had a fight with Sirius last night, and I didn't feel too good so I went out for a walk."

Melody stared at him. "You guys had a fight?" she whispered.

Remus nodded gravely. "I just couldn't stand the way he's acting. He's hurting Rose and it's too disgusting for me to watch. I kind of went crazy I guess… I shouted at him and said some pretty horrible stuff…"

"You went out by yourself at night?" Melody asked. "What happened to your arm?"

Remus looked down at his arm where a nasty scratch stood out against his skin. "It's nothing… must've scratched it."

Rose stared at his arm, horror welling up inside her. _Could it be?_ She looked down quickly at her food, pretending she had heard nothing. _But it wasn't the full moon… that werewolf couldn't have been Remus_! She shook her head and stealthily stole some food from the table and stuffed it in her bag.

After everyone else had gone to sleep, Rose put her cloak on over her baby blue nightgown and sneaked out of Gryffindor tower. When she finally stepped outside, she saw the big black dog running around on the field, chasing his tail. She laughed and walked toward it slowly with her bag. The dog turned around quickly and bounded toward her, its tail wagging.

It jumped up and licked her face and waited expectantly as she emptied her bag of food. She sat down on the grass and watched the dog eat. "You're really quite lucky, you know that?" she said. It looked up at her, the humanity in its eyes still surprising her. "You don't have to worry about love and the future… at least not the way I do…" Rose wrapped her arms around her legs and leaned back slightly, looking up at the dark night sky. "What am I going to do? My life's falling apart!" She reached out and gently pet the dog on the head.

After it finished off all the food, Rose picked up her bag. "I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" She smiled at it and scratched its ears before walking across the grounds and back into the castle of Hogwarts sadly. _What am I going to do?_

xoxox

"Rose?" Lily said uncertainly, shifting nervously.

Rose looked up at her best friend. Lily looked exhausted, but then again, so did all the seventh years. Winter break was coming up and the homework was piling up at a tremendous amount. "Hey, Lily" Rose replied, smiling. She had forgiven Lily long ago.

"Does this mean you forgive me?" Lily asked, her emerald eyes filling with hope.

"Oh, Lily, we've been friends for so long… even before we ever came here. There's nothing to forgive. I understand why you said what you did, and I think I'm the one who should apologize. I shouldn't have interfered," Rose said. "I just wanted you to be happy because I don't think I've ever seen any guy who is so devoted to the girl he loves. James won't give up…" Rose looked down, her eyes filling with tears.

"Rose, I'm sorry. I know that you were doing it for me and I know that what happened wasn't your fault. I was just so angry… I've talked to James and we've decided to try and work this out." Lily bit her lip, blushing. "We have a date."

Rose gasped and hugged Lily. "That's wonderful!"

"Thanks for being such a good friend," Lily said.

"So, what are you going to wear?"


	27. Dog Eat Dog World

The dog seemed agitated. Rose looked at it, wondering what was wrong. It couldn't seem to sit still and it kept looking over at the borderline of the Forbidden Forest.

"What's wrong?" Rose asked. The dog looked at her worriedly, its eyes flashing. It whined and jerked its head toward the castle. Rose stared into its eyes. "Do you want me to go?"

The dog barked. It pushed at her leg with its nose.

"Okay, but whatever it is, be careful, okay?" she said. She rubbed its face once and stood up, about to go, when suddenly, a stag bounded out of the forest. The dog turned quickly and barked. The stag stopped and turned toward the Forbidden Forest. The dog rushed forward, but it was too late. A werewolf raced out of the forest, a rat following closely at its heels. The werewolf froze when it saw Rose. She felt her mouth drop open in horror. She couldn't move.

The werewolf leapt at her, but the stag blocked its path. Its antlers caught the werewolf and with a jerk of its head, it threw the werewolf to the ground. The dog growled and tried to help the stag. Rose backed away slowly, still stiff with fear. The stag bucked and kicked at the werewolf until it finally gave up and ran back into the forest, but not before it took a swipe at the dog. Rose, who was on the verge of breaking into a run, stopped. As the werewolf bounded back into the forest, Rose hurried to the dog's side. The stag stared into her eyes for a few seconds before following the werewolf and the rat. Rose reached out and gently touched the black dog that was lying on its side.

It blinked and lifted its head up, licking her hand. The deep cut made by the werewolf's claws ran across its shoulder. It had also broken one of its hind legs. Rose looked at the dog. "I don't know how to heal," she said softly, her eyes filling with tears. She looked over at Hagrid's hut. The lights weren't on, but she knew Hagrid would be inside. "You can't get up, can you?" she asked the dog. It looked at her helplessly, still dazed. It whined softly. "I'll carry you then," she said. Just as she was about to wrap her arms around the dog, there was a flash of light. Rose pulled back and covered her eyes. When she opened them again, the dog was gone… but in its place was Sirius Black. He was bent over, on his knees and he groaned softly, touching his shoulder gingerly.

"Sirius?" Rose asked.

"Hi, Rose," he replied, smiling without much humor.

"That was you, this whole time?" Rose asked.

"Unfortunately…" Sirius replied, and tried to stand up. "Ow… Remus really got me this time."

"So the stag was James… and the rat, that was Peter?" Rose asked.

Sirius looked at her. "You really are smart. Yup."

"You're unregistered Animagi…" she said softly. Sirius winced as he stumbled a bit. "Here, let me help you," Rose said and stood by his side. Sirius wrapped an arm around her shoulder and she helped him limp toward Hagrid's. "You're an idiot, Sirius."

Sirius laughed softly. "I know."

xoxox

"What're yeh guys doin' here?" Hagrid shouted. "It's nearly midnight! Blimey, Sirius, wha' happen to yeh?"

Sirius grimaced slightly and leaned into Rose a bit.

"Hagrid, he broke his leg," Rose replied, gritting her teeth and holding onto the doorframe for support. "Can you let us in? He's really heavy."

"Oh, gee, thanks Rose," Sirius replied dryly.

"How'd yeh break your leg?" Hagrid asked stepping aside.

"Werewolf attacked him," Rose replied.

"Here." Hagrid scooped Sirius up and carried him over to his big bed. He set him down gently. "A werewolf? Yeh weren't in the forest were yeh? Wha' were yeh guys doing outside anyways?"

Sirius touched his leg gingerly and Rose looked down at the ground.

"Rose?" Hagrid asked.

Rose looked up at Hagrid. "I'm kind of having a hard time… and Sirius, well, he's really been there for me…" She had made that up on the spur of the moment, but even as she said it, she realized that it was true. She had been walking through life in a daze, her world filled with work and study and unbearable remembrance. The only thing she had looked forward to was meeting the dog who had saved her life. It was sad to admit, but there was no way around it. Now, she realized that it would have to end because the dog was Sirius.

Rose looked up at Hagrid. "Rose, I'm sorry," he said softly. "Look, I'll take Sirius to the hospital wing… I won't report yeh to Dumbledore or Professor McGonagall." He smiled weakly at her. Rose nodded. She looked over at Sirius and looked into his dark eyes. He nodded at her. Rose turned and walked slowly out of the cabin, her eyes filling with fresh tears. He had just taken another piece of her shattered heart.


	28. Twisted Concoctions

"So, um, which of you are coming with me?" Rose asked slowly. They all stared at her.

"Didn't we have this conversation just last night?" James asked.

"Well, yeah, but I… um… I wasn't really paying that much attention," Rose said guiltily.

"Merlin help us!" James said rolling his eyes. "We are all packed and ready to go and you don't have any idea how many of us are coming with you?"

"Um… no?"

Lily laughed. "She was probably thinking about Charles…" she giggled.

Rose turned away and faced the wall. "This is not happening… no it's not…" she hummed to herself tunelessly.

"Who in the world is Charles?" James asked.

"Oh, just a tall, dark, handsome Muggle," Lily replied without missing a beat.

James looked at Lily, his eyes narrowed. He turned toward Rose, who was still facing the wall and looked over Melody, who was on the verge of losing complete control, trying desperately not to laugh.

"Are we missing something here?" Remus asked. "Who's Charles?"

"Rose's knight in shining armor," Melody replied and doubled over in peals of laughter.

Rose burst out laughing, still facing the wall. "You guys are disgustingly disturbing."

James glanced at Remus. They stared at Melody, Lily, and Rose, silently, at a loss for words. "You like a Muggle named Charles?" James asked.

Lily laughed. "Don't worry, James, if you want, we'll introduce you two."

"What's so funny?" Peter asked. "I don't get it."

"For once, mate," James replied seriously. "You are not the only one." James laughed at the surprised look on Peter's face, but paused when he saw the look on Sirius's face.

Sirius stood in the opposite side of the room. It was obvious that he could hear everything they were saying, but he was determinedly studying his bag. His leg had been mended and he stood alone. James wondered where Rowena was. He looked over at Rose. She had come back to the common room after he had returned. After the incident near the edge of the forest, they had all decided that it was probably best if Remus spent the night in the Shrieking Shack. When he and Peter had gotten back, Rose was sitting on the couch, sobbing. She had begged him to forget what had happened and promised that she wouldn't say a word to anyone about their secret... about what they became once a month.

"Lily, shut up!" Rose said good-naturedly. "Seriously guys…"

"Okay… once again," James said. "For the first night, we're all going to stop by the house and drop our stuff off. Then, we're all going to go out for dinner. Lily is going to go with me to stop by my parents' house for a little visit… for maybe a day. Remus and Melody, and Peter will be doing the same. Then after the said day, we will all be coming back to spend all of break with you. Is that right?" he asked Lily.

"Yeah."

Rose blinked. "So complicated. Okay… so basically all of you are coming to spend break with me?"

"Yeah, basically."

"Okay then." Rose yawned. "When's the train coming?"

"I dunno," Lily replied. "So… about Charles…"

James turned away toward Sirius. He was talking to Rowena.

"…I'm sorry Sirius. I know we had this all planned out and everything, but I have to go back. I can't spend break with you. I'm really sorry," she said tearfully.

"It's fine, Rowena. You should go. They're your family," he said softly.

"But… but you'll be all alone!"

"No, he won't," James said.

Rowena whipped around. Sirius looked at him, his eyes dark.

"Sirius will spend break with us," James said. He smiled at Rowena and at his best friend. Rose and Lily had stopped chatting. James knew that this plan was unfair for Rose, but he didn't have the heart to let his friend spend Christmas all alone. He didn't even have a home to go to.

"Oh, thank you, James!" Rowena exclaimed and hugged him. She turned back to Sirius and gave him a kiss. "I'll see you when we get back!" She picked up her stuff and left.

"Where's she going?" James asked.

"Dumbledore had to arrange for special transportation… her family are in Russia. They can't exactly pick her up here," Sirius replied. He looked at James. "You don't have to take me in, James."

"I know," James replied. "Besides, I'm not taking you in. I'm asking you to spend Christmas with us… your friends." James grinned at him. Sirius looked over James's shoulder at Rose.

James turned around to face her. Rose was smiling slightly. "What do you guys take me for? I'm a nice person!" she said as everyone looked at her. "Besides, it's a big house." James grinned at her, feeling relief wash through him.

"Let's go then," he said picking up his bag. He walked beside Lily as they left the castle and toward what was turning out to be a truly wonderful winter break.

xoxox

"Ha. Ha. No thanks," Rose replied holding up her hand.

"Oh come on! It took me fifteen minutes to make!" James said. "It was a complicated process!"

"James, I saw you make the thing. I know exactly what you put in it. I'm not eating it," Rose replied bluntly.

James pouted. "Fine." He turned toward Remus.

"Sorry, mate, but… uh… I'm stuffed," Remus said.

"You guys are such babies!" James stated loudly.

"Oh yeah?" Lily cut in. "Then why don't you take a bite of your own little concoction?"

James looked at her for a second. "If I eat it, you have to try it too." He smirked. He held the spoon out to her. Lily looked at the spoonful of orange colored mixture and at James's evil grin.

"Okay." She shrugged nonchalantly.

James looked shocked for a second, but recovered quickly. "So, if I take a bite, you will too?" he asked, tilting his head. He studied her closely.

"Deal."

James stared at the orange mixture, at a loss for words. He cleared his throat and brought the spoon up close to his face. He sniffed it delicately and glanced at Lily.

"Well?" she said expectantly. Everyone else watched him silently, trying to hold in their snickers. Sirius snorted and turned it into a cough at the last possible second.

James glared at him and looked down determinedly at the spoon. He gulped and brought the concoction up to his lips. He closed one eye and shoved the orange stuff into his mouth. He swallowed without chewing and tried to maintain a normal expression. Sirius burst out laughing as James reached out and grabbed a glass of water and gulped it down.

Remus shook his head with amusement. James gasped for air and glanced up at Lily. "Your turn."

Lily took a spoonful of the orange blob and swallowed it. She grimaced. "Ugh!" Lily downed a whole glass of water before coming up for air.

Everyone laughed at the disgusted look on her face.

"What did you put in that?" Lily asked. "It's _disgusting_!"

"Hot sauce, pepper, salt, sugar, lemon juice, vinegar, a few drops of butterbeer, pudding, and orange icing," James replied proudly.

Remus chuckled.

"And… uh, what was it originally?" Lily asked.

"I'm not quite sure…" James answered. "Rose?"

"I think it was… orange sorbet," she replied.

"Oh, yeah! That's right!"

Lily shuddered. "I am never eating anything, ANYTHING that you offer me, ever again!"

James laughed. "Oh, come on, Lily, it wasn't _that_ bad," he said playfully. Lily shook her head in reply.

Rose looked up at the clock on the wall. It was eleven thirty. "Wow, it's really late. You guys should all go, before your families get worried," she said. Everyone glanced at the clock and started pulling out their money. "Don't worry about this one. It's my treat." She smiled.

"Rose, we can't let you do that!" Melody exclaimed.

"It's okay, Mel," Rose replied. "You just worry about getting home safely. Besides, if it makes you feel all that bad, you can just get me an awesome Christmas present." Rose looked at Remus and James. "Take care of my sisters, okay? I expect them back in one piece."

James stood up straight and gave her a mock salute. "Yes, sir… uh I mean, ma'am?"

Rose laughed. "I'll see you all in two days!" She hugged Lily, Melody, and Remus, saluted back at James and gave Peter a small wave. Sirius stood silently behind her.

Tom, the bartender of the Leaky Cauldron came over. Rose gave him fifty galleons and bade him goodnight. Sirius followed her slowly out of the Leaky Cauldron. He hadn't said more than three words the whole evening. Rose took a deep breath, preparing herself for what she knew might very well turn into another fight.


	29. Glimmer of Light and Trusting Him

There was a creak. Rose grabbed her wand from her nightstand and sat up, pointing it at the dark form at the foot of her bed. "STUPE―" she stopped. "Sirius?" she said softly, lowering her wand a bit.

Sirius stood unmoving at the foot of her bed. He wore nothing but his boxers. Rose stared at him, her heart pounding. "I almost stunned you, Sirius!" she said, getting out of bed. "Are you okay?"

He gazed into her eyes, his own dark and unreadable. Rose walked slowly toward him, her wand still clutched in her right hand. "Sirius?"

In one fluid motion, he reached out and pulled her close. Rose felt her eyes widen in surprise and realized that she was wearing a thin silk nightgown that was only down to just above her knees. "Rose," he whispered softly, tangling his hands in her hair, holding her as close as was possible, resting his cheek against hers. He pulled back slightly and looked down at her. He took her wand from her hand and dropped it on the ground. Without warning, he bent and kissed her tenderly. Rose was so surprised she almost jumped out of his arms. His left hand was at her waist, pressing her close. Rose felt herself responding to the kiss despite her screaming brain. She wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned into his warmth.

Sirius slowly maneuvered them toward the bed until Rose felt the backs of her legs touch the soft comforter. Sirius gently lowered her to the soft oblivion of the mattress, all the while kissing her. Rose could feel her mind slipping. She didn't know what was going on and she didn't care. He was all that mattered.

Sirius pulled away gently and looked down at her. Rose stared up into his dark eyes and saw for just a few moments a glimmer of light that told of why he was the way he was and why he didn't believe in love. She reached up and touched his cheek. Sirius closed his eyes and turned his head slightly into her hand. He got up, pulling her up with him. Sirius held her in his arms and leaned his forehead against hers, his gaze locked on hers.

"Rose, will you… will you sleep with me tonight? Please?" he asked softly.

Rose's eyes all but popped out… until she realized what he was asking her. She looked deeply into his eyes and realized that the glimmer of light there was so much more than the vague explanation she had wanted; it was pain… a hurt so deep that it tore him apart. Rose nodded weakly, her mind still reeling from her sudden, horrible epiphany. Sirius gave her a small kiss and pulled her down onto the bed beside him.

He held her close and kissed her temple. "You thought I meant―"

"Shut up!" Rose said loudly. He chuckled by her ear, his breath tickling her skin. Rose snuggled closer into his warmth, breathing in his musky, Sirius-ish scent. She smiled to herself, unsure as to why she felt so safe and comfortable.

"You smell good," he said softly. Rose laughed and looked up at him. He kissed her again and wrapped the comforter around them. Rose closed her eyes, breathing deeply, not caring whether this was a good choice or whether it was right. She had done enough thinking where her relationship with Sirius was concerned. Rose's hand slipped down to his chest. She sighed softly and fell asleep to the rhythmic beating of his heart.

xoxox

Lily sat on the window seat in the spare guestroom of James's house, staring out at the dark street lit by nothing save the moonlight. She wrapped her arms around her legs and leaned against the window. It was cold, but she didn't mind. She needed to clear her mind; to think.

Talking to James had been hard… apologizing had never been easy for her. After screaming at Rose about James, she had been left with more guilt than she could handle…

_ "James…" she said softly. James bolted up. _

_"Wha? I wasn't sleeping, honest! There was a weird mark on the table!" he said hastily, looking around wildly. "Oh, hi Lily," he said sheepishly when he realized that they weren't in class and that she was the one who woke him up. _

_Lily bit her lip, trying not to laugh. He had vertical lines running down the side of his face from the creases on the table and his hair was sticking up every which way. He turned about forty shades of red as she tried not to laugh. Before she embarrassed either of them further, Lily blurted out, "I'm sorry." _

_James gaped at her. "What?"_

_"I'm sorry I said what I said. I don't hate you…" she murmured, her voice barely a whisper. She looked down and played with her bracelet. "I guess I just kind of lost it." _

_James grinned and touched her hand. "Oh, Lily. If there's anyone who should be apologizing, it's me. I shouldn't have pretended to be hurt when I wasn't…"_

_Lily looked at him. "Got that right," she muttered. James laughed._

_"I guess I was just glad that you were finally paying some attention to me and I guess it all went to my head." _

_Lily looked at him. He was so… mature. Somehow, he had changed and it scared her. For the first time in years, she was unsure where she stood with James. She had always wondered why he tried so hard to get her. He could have had any girl he wanted. But that was part of the problem. That was why it was hard for her to trust him. As she stood staring at him awkwardly, the same question that had plagued her for years slammed into her brain._ Is he doing all of this because he can't have me… or does he really love me as much as he claims?

_"So, we're okay?" James asked uncertainly. Lily nodded and was rewarded by a grin. Her heart skipped a beat at the adorable smile. She blinked and tried to make the thought go away. James stared at her silently, still smiling. Lily shifted her weight, uncomfortable under such scrutiny. "Really?"_

_She looked into his hazel eyes. "It's just that… I don't know." She sighed in frustration. She didn't know how to explain it to him… _I can't exactly say that I don't trust him, now can I? _She fiddled with her bracelet as she tried to put the confusing cloud inside her heart into words._

_"Lily, when we spent the day at Hogsmeade together, I meant what I said. I really do care about you," he said softly. Lily could only stare at him. "I want to try and make this work." Lily bit her lower lip and nodded before she could even think about what she was agreeing to. James smiled slightly. _

_"We should do something together over break," he said. "And we should spend break with Rose, Melody, Remus, and Peter. It'll be fun." _

_Lily smiled. "I'm sure it will be." James stood up and looked down into her eyes. He reached out slowly, giving her time to refuse, but she didn't. He pulled her gently in for a hug and Lily hugged him back. Her first hug with James. _

Lily sighed, her breath making a small circle of fog on the window. Despite what everyone else believed, she still wasn't sure whether or not she wanted to have this relationship with James. She was scared that she would come out of it, heartbroken and hurt like her best friend. Her heart ached as she thought of Rose. _We shouldn't have left her all alone with Sirius! What were we thinking?_


	30. Secret Plans

Sirius awoke to find that he was alone. He turned toward Rose's side of the bed, but she wasn't there. He closed his eyes and inhaled the sweet scent of her that clung to the pillow and draped itself all around him. A slight creak made him sit up and look toward the door. Rose stood smiling in her nightgown and a pair of bunny slippers. He grinned at her, looking pointedly at her feet.

"What's up with those?" he asked, nodding toward her slippers, his eyebrow raised.

"They're bunny slippers," she replied.

"I know what they are," he said. "I just didn't have you pegged as a bunny slipper type girl."

"Oh, yeah? Then what'd you have me 'pegged as'?" Rose walked over and stopped a few feet away from the side of the bed. Sirius grinned at her, but didn't reply.

"Cold?" he asked softly, looking up into her eyes. Rose shook her head. "Come here," he said softly, holding the warm blanket up slightly. Rose bit her lip uncertainly.

"Sirius, I―"

Sirius reached out and wrapped his arms around her waist. He pulled her down so that their faces were only inches apart.

"Sirius," she whispered softly. He could hear the despair in her voice.

"I know," he said back just as softly and kissed the tip of her nose. Rose stared at him for a few moments more before kicking off the bunny slippers and slipping into bed beside him. Sirius held her close and smiled into her silky hair. "And you said you weren't cold."

"I wasn't!" she said. Sirius kissed her before she made further protest and gently flipped them both over so that she was lying on top of him. "Sirius."

He opened his eyes and gazed up at her, mesmerized by her beauty. He reached up and gently tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. Rose leaned down and gave him a small kiss on the lips.

"I made breakfast," she said, touching his cheek with one finger. His stomach growled. Rose laughed and bumped her forehead against his. "Come on, Sirius." She got up and looked down at him. "Get up, lazyhead. If you stay in bed any longer, you'll starve to death." His stomach gave another low cry of hunger, as if in agreement with Rose.

"Fine," he said with exaggerated exasperation. He got up, and before she could walk away, he grabbed Rose around the waist and hugged her tight. She laughed again.

"Sirius, let go," she said softly.

Sirius grinned. "Okay, I'll let you go _this_ time."

"Thank you," she said sarcastically. "Put a shirt or something on. It's freezing downstairs. I have no idea how the heaters in this house works. I'll have to go in the basement later and check it out."

"I can do it," Sirius volunteered. Rose smiled at him.

"That's nice of you, but we should probably eat first."

"Okay," he said and pulled a black t-shirt over his head. Rose pulled out her wand and waved it in the general direction of the bed. It made itself instantly. Sirius followed her into the kitchen. "Oh, wow, smells great!"

"So when are the others coming?" he asked after swallowing a delicious bit of omelet.

"They should be here sometime tomorrow… I'm not sure when. I forgot to ask," she answered slowly. "Oh, well."

"So… what are we going to do today?" Sirius asked slowly. "It's just you and me…"

"Well…" Rose began, her eyes glittering.

xoxox

Stifling a yawn, Lily stumbled over to the tall chair at the kitchen counter and plopped herself down. She yawned again and rubbed her eyes.

"Oh, good morning, Lily dear!"

"Good morning, Mrs. Potter," Lily replied with a smile.

"Call me Mandy, dear," James's mother said kindly. She waved her wand and various pots and pans jumped out from their niche and onto the stove. "How do you like it here?"

"Everything is really nice. Thank you for letting me stay with you," Lily replied.

"You're welcome here anytime," Mandy replied. "James is quite fond of you and frankly, so are we." She smiled and turned toward the frying pan where a delectable aroma of scrambled eggs was arising. Lily could feel heat rushing to her face.

There was a thump followed by a muttered oath and James appeared in the kitchen, rubbing his head. "Oh, g'morning, mom, Lily," he said seeing the look on his mother's face. "I ran into the door!" he said hurriedly, trying to explain. Mandy Potter rolled her eyes and Lily smothered her laugh.

"So, what are you two up to today?" Mrs. Potter asked absentmindedly. "Oh, yes, I'd forgotten. You were going to…"

James coughed loudly. "Well you know…" he replied slyly, avoiding Lily's questioning gaze.

"Know what?" Lily asked.

Mrs. Potter raised her eyebrows and turned around, stirring the eggs. She flicked her wrist and the eggs poured themselves onto a plate and flew over to Lily and James. The food hovered for a moment before gently touching down. "I'll go wake your father," Mrs. Potter said and padded off.

James jumped up and ran for the bathroom before Lily could even open her mouth. She frowned to herself and picked up her fork reluctantly. _Something's up_. She stabbed her eggs and crammed it into her mouth just as Mark Potter walked into the kitchen.

"Good morning, Lily!" he smiled. "How'd you sleep?"

Lily swallowed her food with great difficulty. "Great. Thank you for having me."

"Nonsense!" he said, sitting down across from her as Mrs. Potter placed a plat of food in front of him. "We're glad to have you here." He looked over her shoulder and leaned closer. "James is quite fond of you, you know," he whispered conspiratorially. He winked at her and laughed as she blushed furiously.

"Dad, leave Lily alone!" James said, his own cheeks shining with a tint of red. If she had not been so embarrassed, Lily would have teased him herself. And being a redhead, she knew that her blush was ten shades deeper than his. _I am in no shape to be teasing him_.

"Alright, son," Mark Potter said, smirking. Mrs. Potter shook her head, but smiled.

Lily could see James in his father. The playfulness and the cleverness. Instead of feeling like the outsider she expected to be, she felt so much a part of the Potter family. She felt comfortable, like it was a part of her. The coziness frizzed out inside her and she found herself smiling at James across the breakfast table, around the floating aroma of eggs, blueberry pancakes, and coffee. He looked surprised for a moment, but grinned back at her, his hair sticking up in odd directions… yet somehow, he still managed to look gorgeous, his hazel eyes shining.


	31. Being With You

"Sirius, come on! You're so slow!" Rose called over her shoulder. She smiled at him as he huffed and puffed his way up the hill. A slight breeze followed them up and the sun shone like a topaz aflame.

"You try carrying this and running up the hill!" he shouted back, pouting. Rose could see the small smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

"Stop complaining and get up here!" she said, turning around.

"Fine, but you're awful bossy lately," he remarked. Rose stuck her tongue out at him and was rewarded with a bark like laugh.

Five minutes and more complaining later, on Sirius's part, they were at the top of the hill. Rose spread the thick blanket on the ground and sat down.

"Wow," Sirius breathed slowly.

"Yeah, nice huh?"

"It would be if it wasn't so cold," he remarked dryly with raised eyebrows. Rose gave him a small smile and snuggled close, slipping her arm around his. Sirius stared at her silently, his eyes dark and contemplative. Rose laid her head on his shoulder and stared at the beautiful winter's view before her. Sirius leaned over and kissed the top of her head gently. "I knew you liked me."

Rose looked up to see a smug smile on his face. "Don't flatter yourself, Black." She slipped out of his warm embrace and turned toward the big whicker basket. Before she could open it, he enfolded her in his arms and put his chin on her shoulder. Rose turned slightly and found herself lost in his eyes. Sirius kissed the nape of her neck.

"There's no need to get all offended… you're just so cute sometimes," he murmured against her skin. Without warning, he blew in her ear.

"Sirius!" she yelled, squirming in his arms and instinctively covering her ear. He laughed and Rose couldn't help but smile. "You're such a pain sometimes, you know that?" she said, brushing his hair out of his eyes.

"Then I guess you'd be the painkiller or morphine… or whatever they call it, huh?" he replied. Rose rolled her eyes.

Suddenly, there was a low growl… from Sirius's stomach. He blushed slightly. Rose grinned and gently extracted herself from the comfort of his arms.

"Lunchtime."

Sirius took her hand and held it for a second before kissing her palm. Rose felt her heart melting at the solemn look on his face. Sirius smiled… the one reserved just for her. "Not hungry."

"What are you talking about?" she asked incredulously. "Wait… that was your brain growling, wasn't it?"

"Not hungry for food," he replied softly, ignoring her sarcasm. Rose closed her mouth. He pulled her close. "Starving for a kiss from you."

With a devilish smile, he leaned forward and captured her lips. Tangling his hand in her hair, he deepened the kiss. Rose felt her heart tingle with joy as she returned his sweet kiss. Sirius smiled against her lips. She opened her eyes and they looked at each other for a moment before slowly pulling apart.

"Funny… I always thought people would be cross-eyed when they look at each other that closely," Rose mused.

"Well, I don't know about my eyes, but yours were definitely crossed," he chuckled.

"Really?"

"No." He smiled and his stomach growled again. "I think it's time for food."

"Agreed."

Sirius planted a small kiss on her eyelid before allowing her to spread out the picnic. The sunlight sparkled all around them and suddenly, Rose realized that although it was about forty or so degrees outside, she had never felt a single chill and warmth radiated from deep within her heart… _After all, I'm with him_.

xoxox

"Um, James, where are we going?" Lily asked, walking forward unsteadily. She gripped his hand hard, afraid of letting go.

"Just trust me," he said softly.

Lily scoffed slightly.

"And don't take off the blindfold."

"What if we get attacked?" she asked defiantly.

"We won't be attacked," he contradicted firmly.

"Well, what if?"

"You worry too much." He tugged gently on her hand. Lily stepped over a rock.

"I wouldn't have to worry if you would just tell me," she answered back, but she did as he asked and kept the blindfold on… because Lily really was curious to see exactly what James Potter had in store for her.

xoxox

Sirius threaded his fingers lightly through her hair. "What's your favorite season?"

Rose gave him a funny look. "Summer, of course. You?"

"Definitely summer," he agreed. "But I love winter too."

"Why?" she asked, wrinkling her nose. Sirius leaned over and kissed the tip of it gently. Rose laughed.

"Because… when it's cold, I have a reason to hug you," he said softly.

Rose smiled. "You need a reason?"

Sirius chuckled and pulled her into his arms. "I guess not." He kissed her temple lightly and wrapped his arms around her so that her back was pressed against his front. She fit against him perfectly… a fact that came as no surprise to him. Somewhere deep inside, he knew that this couldn't last. It just wasn't fair to Rose. In that same corner of his darkened heart, he felt a reverberating sense of loss at the thought of giving her up. He pushed the thought away, along with the wave of panic that it had triggered. _When did I begin to care for her so much? Why should it matter? What's happening to me?_

xoxox

Lily grimaced.

"Are you okay?" James asked worriedly.

"No. I think I twisted my ankle," she replied, gingerly touching her foot. _Yup, definitely won't be walking around any time soon._ "Can I take off my blindfold now?"

"No!" James said. "I planned for this all day. Don't take it off…" He paused. "I'll carry you there," he said determinedly.

"No you won't!" she countered stubbornly, her heart drumming furiously at the thought of being so close to James in such an intimate way.

"Lily, you can't walk," he reasoned.

"I don't care. No one will be carrying anyone." She crossed her arms.

"Yeah, okay. I'm carrying you," he went on as though she hadn't spoken.

Lily reached up to her blindfold, but before she could touch it, James had already scooped her up from the ground. She gasped and grabbed on to his shoulders. Lily felt herself blushing and turned her head resolutely so he wouldn't see. "Put me down," she commanded.

"Lily, you have got to be the most stubborn person I have ever had the privilege of meeting," he said adoringly. "Now be quiet." He chuckled while she muttered darkly under her breath.

"If you kill me, I'll drop you," he said, his laughter echoing and vibrating against her. "Just enjoy the ride. I promise, you'll love the surprise."

Lily had a feeling that whatever the surprise was, there was no way it could even compare to being in the strong arms of James Potter.


	32. Learning to Love

Melody sneaked a glance at Remus, her hearting dancing. She frowned at the look on his face. "Remus, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," he murmured softly, smiling. She could see the uncertainty in his eyes.

"Remus," she said softly.

He sighed and looked away. "Look, it's really nothing."

"Nothing? Nothing has you frowning like you've just lost your best friend?" she asked sarcastically. "Remus, tell me, please."

He remained silent and stared resolutely ahead.

"I love you…" she said softly, biting back a small smile. Remus turned to her, his face a helpless mix of emotions.

"That's not fair!" he protested.

"Yes it is," she laughed. Melody leaned forward and kissed him tenderly on the lips. "I love you."

"I love you too, Melody." He smiled at her.

"I love everything about you," she whispered.

Remus paused. "Everything?"

"Everything," she nodded. "Your responsible attitude, your eyes, your smile, and your smart-ness." Melody grinned and hugged him.

Remus didn't speak for a heartbeat. "My werewolf side?" he said softly. Melody could hear the bitterness in his voice.

"There are some things that we can't help being, Remus," she replied nonchalantly. "I could care less if you were a vampire. I love you." Melody laid her head on his shoulder.

Remus looked down at her. "Why are you so good to me?"

"Because I love you," she laughed.

"I don't deserve it," he replied, touching her hair gently.

"Yes, you do. More than anyone else in the whole wide world," she contradicted. "And don't you dare doubt it. You will never get rid of me, Remus. I don't care if you get sick of seeing me everyday… you're not going to be able to push me at some other second rate guy. I only want you, so ha!" Melody smiled coyly up at him.

Remus laughed, his face full of love. "I'll never let you go, Melody." He leaned down and kissed her deeply, wrapping his arms around her to show her just how much he intended to keep that promise.

"Remus, I… OOPS!" his mother said loudly. "Sorry. I'll come back later, shall I?" she laughed.

Remus pulled away from Melody quickly, his face burning. Melody didn't bother hiding her smile. Mrs. Lupin winked at her and walked out of the room. Remus turned to Melody.

"You're so cute when you're embarrassed!" Melody teased, slipping her arms around him. Remus blushed deeper.

"I can't believe you," he muttered.

"What? Attention is my second love," she replied. "Wanna guess my first?"

Remus smiled. "Not really," he said.

"Why not?" Melody asked with a pout.

"I'd rather just kiss you," he replied, a hint of shyness in his eyes.

Melody felt her heart sing. "Me… too," she whispered softly against his lips, her mind slipping away until all she could think about was him and how sweet his kisses were.

xoxox

"Sirius?" Rose asked, playing with his hair.

Sirius opened his eyes and squinted up at her. "What is it?" He half raised himself up, lifting his head from her lap.

"Why a dog?" she asked softly.

Sirius looked at her for a moment and burst out laughing.

"What?" she asked indignantly.

"You just looked so serious…" he chuckled, laying back down. He closed his eyes again.

"So, why a dog?" she asked.

"I don't know," he replied with a slight shrug, his shoulder rubbing against her stomach. "Why do you want to know?" he asked, opening his eyes to look up at her.

Rose turned her face into the sunlight, but did not answer. Sirius reached up and gently touched her face.

"Is there some weird philosophy behind me choosing to turn into a dog?" he asked teasingly.

Rose looked down at him and Sirius was amazed by the beauty of her eyes… how they were the color of the heavens and of a storm out at sea all at once. His eyes trailed over the sunlight that dazzled all around her, lighting up her dark hair.

"Maybe there is," she replied softly. Sirius studied her angelic face… from her long, thick eyelashes to her soft lips.

Sirius blinked slowly. "What?"

Rose tilted her head to the side slightly. "Sirius, tell me about your family."

Sirius froze, his muscles tensing. "What?"

"Tell me why you won't talk about them. Tell me why you don't believe in love." She gazed deeply into his eyes and Sirius knew he was lost.

xoxox

"Wow…" Lily said softly. She was still in James's arms, and although it felt nice, it wasn't the source of her amazement. She tore her eyes away from the scene before her and looked up into his shining hazel eyes. He looked so excited and apprehensive.

"So, you like it?" he asked softly.

Lily stared at him, trying to capture every single moment. "I love it." She kissed him softly on the cheek. "Thank you."

James looked stunned. He gaped at her, his expression a mixture of excitement and wonder. Lily blushed realizing what she had just done. She quickly hid her face by turning her head toward the thousands of daisies, lilies, and roses around her.

"Do you want to sit down?" James asked softly. Lily nodded. He carried her over to an elegant glass table with charming cushiony chairs. James set her down gently and pushed her closer to the table. "Comfortable?" he asked. Lily could only nod. She stared in wonder at the almost celestial garden around her.

"I can't believe you did this…" she whispered, as if afraid to disturb the quiet. She reached out and touched the velvety petals of a pink-tipped rose. She looked at him. "When did you find the time to do all this?"

James smiled sheepishly and glanced down at the grass. "Last night."

Lily stared at him. "Night as in dark?" she asked.

"Yeah." He looked up at her uncertainly.

"Oh, James. You didn't have to do all of this for me!" she said, but her heart danced.

"But I wanted to," he replied solemnly. Lily bit her lip, unsure of what to say. No guy had ever shown her so much kindness. _Why'd you have to be so sweet, James? What am I going to do?_ "So, want lunch?" he asked, breaking the silence and the distorted barrier of her confused thoughts.

"You made lunch too?" she asked incredulously.

James smiled. "No, my mom helped with that one." He lifted up a picnic basket.

_How is a girl supposed to be able to resist this guy?_


	33. Disappointment and Happiness

"Rose, please don't do this to me," he said softly, gazing into her eyes like a drowning man.

"Do what, Sirius?" she asked.

"Look…" he struggled for the words to express his frustration. "Wait. How in the world did you connect my family and that love stuff to me choosing to turn into a dog?" Sirius asked disbelievingly.

"Stop trying to change the subject," she said curtly.

"_I'm_ changing the subject? What about you? You were talking about me being a dog!" he replied.

"Sirius, just answer the stupid question," she replied, her tone considerably weaker than before.

"If it's stupid, I really don't have to answer it, do I?"

"Sirius!"

Sirius grinned and dodged her punch. "Rose, please let it go?" he pleaded softly. She sighed in exasperation and looked away. Sirius felt a strange pang in his heart at her disappointment. Something inside of him begged and pushed him to tell her what she wanted so much to know. Sirius clenched his teeth to stop the words from coming out; the urge to tell her was overwhelming… and it scared him. Never in his life had he wanted to tell another living soul everything about himself. He blinked furiously and shoved his thoughts away. "Want to go to Diagon Alley?"

Rose stared at him for a few seconds. She nodded slowly and gathered up their stuff. Sirius watched her silently, wishing more than anything that she would smile again.

xoxox

"Why don't you two go out for a while?" Mrs. Lupin suggested. She tried to hide her smile, but Remus knew why she wanted them out of the house. She was tired of walking in on them kissing. The last three times, she had retreated quickly enough, but Remus could always catch her laughter as she walked away. He could feel heat rushing to his face and he turned the other way.

"That's a great idea!" Melody agreed. "We should go to Diagon Alley! I think Florish and Blots just received the new books by Hedrock Woodruff."

Remus looked at her. "I didn't know you liked his books."

"He's famous for his Seer's blood. His books are interesting. The things he's seen and done…" Melody trailed off, a dreamy look on her face.

Remus raised an eyebrow. Inside, he could feel a strange twinge of annoyance at the look on her face. _Am I jealous of a weird guy who claims to have Seen the future?_ "Earth to Melody!" he said, waving a hand in front of her face. She blinked and blushed.

"Sorry."

Remus stared at her, not sure what to make of the weird frizzled feeling inside of him. _He's not even that good-looking!_ Remus slapped himself in the forehead. _What am I _thinking?

"Come on," Melody said, taking his arm. "We'll be back before dinner!" she called to Mrs. Lupin.

"Of course, dear. Have fun!" Mrs. Lupin winked.

Melody smiled. _From the way Remus acts, I would never have guess Mrs. Lupin is so… laid-back and fun!_ She looked up at Remus. He wore a little frown that made her heart somersault. "You're so cute when you frown, Remus," she whispered softly, giving him a kiss on the cheek. Remus blushed. _Oh, Remus. I don't really like Woodruff at all… sometimes, a girl likes to know that the guy she loves can feel jealousy, even if it is directed at a complete fraud._ "I love you, Remus."

He smiled down at her and kissed her forehead lightly.

xoxox

"How'd you know I liked daisies?" Lily asked, swallowing a piece of the delectable chicken that Mrs. Potter had made for them.

James grinned. "Rose told me."

Lily smiled. "Rose." She frowned, her thoughts drifting to Sirius.

"He'll come to his senses sooner or later," James said, as if reading her thoughts. Lily glanced up into James's eyes. "They're perfect for each other." _So are we_… Lily looked away quickly. James didn't know what she was thinking. She didn't even know what she was thinking. _He annoys me. He annoys the hell out of me. I hate him… don't I?_

"Lily?" James said loudly.

"What?" Lily blinked and looked up. From the quizzical expression on his face, there was no way he knew what she had been thinking. _Thank Merlin_.

"When we're done here, we can Apparate back… I think. Your leg is not going to be able to support you, and I can't carry you all the way back," he said.

"Are you calling me fat?" Lily asked teasingly.

"Of course not!" James replied, appalled. "I was only implying that you might be a little chubby." He grinned.

Lily gave a little exclamation.

"Just kidding, Lils. You're perfect." James smiled at her. Lily blushed and went back to her food, wishing that this perfect world he had created for them could last forever.


	34. Hidden From Me

"We just had lunch! How can you be this hungry?" Rose asked, her eyes wide. She laughed as Sirius exaggeratedly stuffed his face. "Stop it!"

Sirius swallowed his food with little difficulty having had much practice. "I am a growing man, my dear. I can eat as much as I like."

Rose rolled her eyes, laughing. Sirius leaned across the table and kissed her on the cheek, realizing that her laughter was the greatest and most heavenly food of all.

"Rose!"

Sirius and Rose turned to see Melody hurrying toward them, dragging Remus behind her like a rag doll. Rose laughed harder. Sirius looked at them, a painfully amused expression on his face.

"What are you guys doing here?" Melody asked.

"Same reason as you two, I suppose," Sirius replied. Melody stared at him. He knew she still didn't trust him or like him. He didn't mind. He deserved her derision and he knew it full well.

"Maybe you should let Remus go. He looks… dead," Rose observed.

Melody looked behind her. "He does not. He's fine." Remus was panting for air. Melody reached over Sirius and grabbed his glass of water. "Here, have some water."

"Your welcome," Sirius said dryly.

"Yeah, thanks," Melody said, as if she didn't even notice. "We should spend the day together!"

Rose nodded. Melody was energetic and happy and so was Remus. Spending time with each other had been just what they needed. Rose turned toward Sirius. He smiled. "I'm _kinda_ full. We can always come back later."

Rose laughed. "Okay. Come on then!"

Remus took Melody's hand firmly as if preparing himself for another drag session down the street. Rose smiled. She started when Sirius wrapped his hand around hers. She looked up at him, only to find him looking determinedly ahead. He tugged on her hand gently, leading her away from their table. Rose sidled closer to Sirius. She didn't miss the startled look on Melody's face as they walked deeper into Diagon Alley.

xoxox

Rose snuggled closer to Sirius under the warm blanket. He kissed her hair and smiled. "Today was nice," he said softly.

"Yes it was," Rose replied, closing her eyes. The fire's crackling glow burned brightly against her eyelids. Sirius tangled his fingers in her hair and hugged her close. Rose laid her head against his chest, listening to the rhythmic beating of his heart.

"Tired?" he whispered. Rose shook her head. "Want to play a game?"

"Game?" Rose asked skeptically.

"Yup. A game," Sirius replied with a wolfish smile.

"Depends," Rose replied slowly. She moved away from Sirius cautiously. "What game?"

"Hide-and-seek," he said, his smile growing.

"You're kidding, right?" Rose asked.

Sirius threw his arms over his eyes. "One, two, three, you have until fifty, four," he said.

"That's not fair!"

"Five."

"Sirius!"

"Six."

"I'm not hiding then," Rose said stubbornly.

"Seven, you're wasting time!"

Rose let out a frustrated growl and ran from the room. She looked around for a place to hide, whipping out her wand. _Silencio_! She pointed it at the floor to silence her footsteps.

"Twenty-five!" Sirius shouted.

"That cheater," she muttered, yanking open a closet door and stepping into the darkness. "I can cheat, too, then!" She pointed her wand at the door. _We'll see how well you do against an invisible door, Sirius._

"Thirty-nine!"

Rose shook her head and laughed softly. She sank down onto the cool, smooth floor and leaned her back against the wall. She closed her eyes and counted the seconds. After about five seconds, she heard Sirius shout, "Ready or not, here. I. COME!"

"Rose?" he sang. "Rose! Come out, come out wherever you are!"

Rose snorted.

"If you come out now, I'll spare you!" he shouted. "Come on!" His voice was getting closer. Rose wondered how he would be able to find her. "Rose!" His voice sounded like it was just outside the door. That's when Rose realized her mistake. She had silenced the floor and forgotten to reverse the spell. He knew. She groaned softly. _Idiot!_ "Rose!" he called softly. Rose winced wondering if he knew where she was.

Suddenly, he yanked open the door, grinning down at her in triumph.

"Hi," Rose said softly.

"You cheated," Sirius stated softly, still smiling.

"So did you," she said.

Sirius knelt down in front of her. "I knew I liked you." He suddenly reached out and grabbed her arms. Sirius pulled her gently out of the closet and kissed her softly on the lips. Without warning, he started tickling her.

"Sirius, no! Stop!" Rose laughed helplessly. "Let go!" She tried to squirm out of his arms.

"I warned you," he said lightly without loosening his grip. "I told you to come out when you still had the chance."

"Stop… it!" she said between peals of laughter.

"No way," he laughed.

Rose tried to push out of his arms, and as she took a step backwards, Sirius stepped forward and lost his balance. They crashed down, Sirius turning at the last moment to protect her. Rose landed on top of him. "Ugh," Sirius groaned.

"Oh, Sirius," Rose whispered, still laughing. "Are you okay?"

"Mmm… I don't know," he replied. "I think you broke something."

"Like your big head?" Rose challenged.

"Ouch. Haven't you ever heard of not kicking a man when he's down?" Sirius said with a pained expression.

"I'm not kicking you," Rose said. She leaned down and gave him a small kiss. "I'm kissing you."

Sirius smiled. "That I like."

Rose got up and helped him to his feet. "It's really late."

"Do I have to go to sleep?" Sirius whined.

"Oh, grow up," Rose replied pleasantly. She kissed him on the cheek. "Good night, Sirius."

He smiled. "Night." Sirius watched her walk down the hallway and up the stairs. He sighed and leaned against the wall. _They'll be back tomorrow. We only have five more days together, Rose, and we won't even be alone… When we go back to Hogwarts…_ Sirius closed his eyes. _It doesn't matter, does it? You know as well as I do that this will _never_ work._


	35. Rose and Sirius

"Morning," Sirius mumbled, sinking into a chair. He ran his hand through his already tousled hair and yawned widely.

"Morning," Rose replied. "I just got four owls." She twirled her wand around.

"Oh, yeah?" Sirius asked, suddenly more awake. "Who from?"

"Lily, Melody, Peter… and Dumbledore," Rose said without looking at him. She stirred the pancake mixture in front of her with great concentration.

"What did they want?" Sirius asked, leaning close.

Rose looked up and smiled at him. "You look horrible," she informed him lightly.

Sirius growled teasingly. "What did they want?" he repeated.

"Well, Lily is going to stay at James's for the rest of break. Melody and Remus are going to stay at his house for a while and then head over to her house to spend break with her parents. Peter is going on a trip with his parents to Bulgaria, so none of them will be coming for break," Rose said. She levitated the mixture and with a slight flick of her wand, the contents poured itself into a pan.

"What about the owl from Dumbledore?" Sirius asked. He stood up and walked around the counter. He leaned against it and watched Rose cook.

"He's sending over someone to help us perform the Fidelius charm," she replied.

"Really?" Sirius asked excitedly. He had never before seen the charm.

Rose laughed. "Really." Sirius stared at her. He reached out and hugged her from behind, holding her close. "Sirius!" she laughed. Sirius kissed her cheek.

"I'm going to go shower really quick," Sirius said.

"Good idea," Rose replied.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Sirius asked indignantly.

Rose only laughed and turned back to the pancakes.

xoxox

"I feel weird about this," Lily said frowning.

"What?" James asked.

"Leaving Rose with Sirius for the rest of break," Lily replied briskly.

James rolled his eyes. "You're talking about Sirius as if he were the Grim. He's not that bad you know. He's my best mate."

Lily let out a frustrated sigh. "But he's a complete moron!" she burst out. James glared at her. "… Right now…" Lily added hastily. "Look, James. He hurt her. She is _my_ 'best mate' and I'm not going to let something like that go so easily."

"No one expects you to let it go, Lily," James reassured her.

"Then why are we doing this?" Lily asked, gesturing to the letter that James was trying to convince her to write. So far, the long parchment only contained to words: _Dear Rose_.

"Because we are spending break together and because this would give them a chance to work out their problems," James replied. "On their own," he said when she opened her mouth.

"But it just doesn't feel right," Lily mumbled.

"Look, Lily. I agree that he shouldn't have hurt her, but I've known Sirius since we were kids. He's a decent person. He must have some reason for doing what he's doing."

Lily snorted. "Yeah. He's crazy."

James shook his head, looking at her.

"Well he has to be! He doesn't realize what a good thing he has… had. Rose doesn't usually warm up to guys that fast. She has always only considered them friends, no matter how sweet they are. And trust me; there have been many who've chased after her, oozing with charm. She turned every single one of them down, yet for some strange reason, they all still love her to death," Lily said, laughing. "It was quite pathetic. She never really gave them much thought. She never even believed me when I told her that they all really, really liked her. She kept insisting that none of them liked her that way." Lily shook her head. "I always told her she was blind and crazy, but she wouldn't believe me."

James smiled. "She is too modest."

"No kidding. I'd always kinda hoped that she'd like one of them back, just so they'd stop pestering me about whether or not she liked them," Lily smiled. "Now that she has fallen for one of them, I don't know how to protect her." Lily looked down at the table. James swallowed, not sure what to say.

"She's a big girl, Lily. You don't need to protect her," he said softly.

"I know, but I can't help but feel responsible. She's like a sister to me."

James grinned. "I thought you hated your sister."

"Do shut up, James," Lily replied with a smile.

"He won't hurt her," James said.

"How do you know?" Lily asked.

James smiled. "She won't let him."

Lily blinked in confusion.

"She's too strong for that. Don't worry," James said. "Besides, Sirius is really just a harmless little puppy."

Lily looked at him skeptically. "A puppy?"

"It seemed like a good choice of words at the time," James said, frowning, trying to figure out what went wrong in the short period between his thoughts and the words actually coming out of his mouth.

Lily picked up the quill. "What comes after 'Dear Rose', James?"

James smiled. _If you do hurt her, Padfoot, I'll help Lily kill you._

xoxox

"Are you sure about this?" Remus asked with a frown. Melody could see the uncertainty in his deep eyes. She rolled her eyes.

"That's the ninth time you've asked that!" she said. "It's going to be fine, Remus… they'll love you." She signed the letter to Rose with a flourish, knowing without a doubt that Rose would be fine spending break alone with Sirius the monster. _You worry too much, Lily_, Melody thought as she remembered Lily's latest letter.

"But..." Remus said for the thousandth time.

"Remus, don't worry. Trust me. My parents were always worried that I'd bring home a guy who had spent half his life in Azkaban or something," Melody said reassuringly.

Remus sighed. "I kind of wish I had… then at least I'd be able to look tougher," he mumbled.

Melody laughed. "Remus, don't be ridiculous… besides, even if they don't like you, which they will, it's not like they'll throw you out!"

Remus stared at Melody as she folded the parchment calmly and gave it to her tawny owl. He smiled reluctantly. "I love you, Melody."

Melody turned to him with a radiant smile. "I love you, too," she said softly and threw her arms around him.


	36. Without You

"Good morning," Alastor Moody said with a grin. He looked at Rose expectantly while Sirius stared at them dumbly.

"Do I have to say it?" she asked with a slight wince.

Moody laughed good-naturedly. "It's just a security precaution."

"Well, what if someone else had killed us both and received that letter? What's the point of the password?" Rose asked.

Moody looked at her as if she had just turned into a ghost. Then he burst out laughing again, his dark hair dancing around his face. "I guess none of us ever thought of that…"

"So, can we start the charm?" Sirius asked eagerly.

"Password?" Moody asked, his eyes twinkling.

"Oh, fine… but who came up with it anyways?" she asked.

"Not me," he replied instantly, smiling.

"'What's in a name?'" Rose said monotonously.

"'That which we call a rose by any other word would smell as sweet,'" Moody replied dramatically. He chuckled. "Shakespeare… he was quite amusing."

"That play kind of sucked… Hamlet was way better," Rose replied.

"Are you talking about _Romeo and Juliet_?" Sirius asked.

"I've never heard a girl condemn it with such apathy," Moody said with a grin.

"It was sappy… and Shakespeare stole it from other writers, who in turn stole it from someone whose idea is now ruined," Rose replied.

Her statement was met with silence. Sirius raised a brow. "You read too much into things…. Now can we get on with the charm?" he pleaded.

"Right… the charm!" Moody took out his wand. "Who will be your Secret Keeper?"

"Him, of course," Rose said. Moody turned to Sirius, who could only gape.

"Me?" he asked.

"No, the tree," Rose replied. Moody laughed. "Of course I mean you! Unless of course you don't want to do it…"

"But I think the tree is much better suited for the job," Sirius replied, his eyes full of excitement. Moody laughed. "But if I must," Sirius said like a martyr.

"Good, now… just move a little… there, perfect!" Moody said. Sirius raised his eyebrows at Rose. She smothered her laugh at the wizard's apparent delight in Sirius's ability to move a centimeter to the left. "Now, raise your wand hand and repeat after me. 'I, state your name, claim fully the responsibility of providing shelter to and harboring secret the location of the house of, state owner's name, in this sacred charm.'"

Sirius repeated every word solemnly. A golden sheen surrounded the house, growing brighter with each word. When Sirius finished reciting, Moody muttered something under his breath and flicked his wand. The golden light suddenly shot forward, aiming for Sirius. It entered through his back, at his heart and for a moment, a gentle wind encased him, lifting him two inches off the ground. With a blinding flash, it deposited him slowly to the ground.

"Wow!" Sirius breathed.

Moody grinned. "Amazing, isn't it?" he said. "Anyways… if you want to give anyone the address, you will have to write it down or tell it to them personally. And since this charm is supposed to be protection, if you do write it to someone, make sure you destroy it so that it won't fall into the wrong hands."

Sirius nodded.

"Well, good day to you both," Moody said with a small nod and a smile. With a loud pop, he Disapparted.

Sirius looked at Rose. They both burst out laughing. "That _was_ pretty amazing…" Rose smiled. "Thank you."

Rose frowned in confusion. "For what? I think I should be the one to thank you."

"For trusting me."

Rose stared at him. _I don't _just_ trust you, Sirius…_ "Just don't hand my address out to strange looking people," Rose said. Sirius grinned.

"It's like you read my mind or something!" Sirius said, feigning astonishment. "But, okay… I'll try my best to resist temptation."

Rose rolled her eyes.

"What are we going to do for the rest of break?" Sirius asked.

Rose looked at him. _What are we going to do_ after _break, Sirius? Are we going back to being the way we were? Are you going to go back to her?_ "We could take a small trip."

Sirius grinned. A lock of dark hair fell rakishly over his eye. Rose reached up and brushed it back. _What will_ I _do… without you?_


	37. The Edge of the Abyss

"Oh, come on, Lily!" James pleaded.

"I'm telling you, Potter, there is nothing, and I repeat _nothing_ worth meeting my dreadful sister," Lily replied digging her spoon into the sundae.

"I don't really care about meeting her. If she's half as horrible as you say she is-"

"She's much worse… I just soften it up a bit so I don't scare off everyone," Lily replied taking a bite. "Wow… this is really good."

"Told you I make the best sundaes," James said smugly. "Besides-"

Lily stuck a spoonful of ice cream inside his mouth.

"Hankee," he mumbled around the spoon. "Like I said, I don't want to meet her. I want to meet your parents. You've already meet mine… and besides, I think they would love me."

Lily raised a brow delicately. "You do, do you?" She held up the spoon and James opened his mouth.

"What's not to love?" he asked. "This _is_ really good."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Look, it's not that I don't want to introduce you all to each other… it's just…" She played with the toppings.

"Just?" James prompted. Lily took a few more bites of the delicious sundae. "Are you… are you ashamed of me, Lily?" James asked softly.

Lily glanced up quickly, her eyes widening. "Of course not! Why would you say that?"

James gave a noncommittal shrug, but Lily could see the hurt in his dark eyes.

"Look, James. This isn't about you…"

"It's not?" he asked, raising his voice. His eyes were smoldering.

"No… it's about me," Lily replied evenly, rising to the challenge in his deep hazel eyes. "I'm just not ready yet."

James's gaze softened.

Lily sighed. "I don't even know…"

"Know what?" James asked softly.

"Nothing. Never mind," Lily said quickly.

"Lily."

Lily glanced up. "I… I don't know… how I… feel about this. About us," she said hesitantly, wanting to be honest with him, but wishing more than anything that she could take those words back.

James furrowed his brow in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"I don't know," Lily replied. "I just don't know…" she murmured.

"Lily-"

Before he could say another word, Lily jumped out of her seat and ran from the room.

xoxox

Remus laughed. He loved Melody's parents. They were easygoing and nice.

"So, Remus, what do you plan on doing after school?" Melody's dad asked, looking at him attentively.

Remus blinked, surprised. "I... I'm not sure yet."

Mrs. Summers smiled kindly. "You still have plenty of time to decide dear. Don't worry too much about it," she said. "I had no idea what I was going to pursue until a year after I left school."

Remus smiled back. The rest of dinner passed by quickly. Remus found himself enjoying the company of the Summers family, feeling as if he could fit in after all.

"Do you need any help, Mrs. Summers?" Remus asked.

Maria looked up in surprise. "Oh, no dear. Why don't you go ahead with Melody and just relax in the living room?" she said. "And call me Maria. Mrs. Summers sounds so formal." She smiled and waved her wand. The plates and silverware jumped into the air and followed her into the kitchen.

Melody was smiling at him, her light blue eyes glowing with joy. Remus grinned back.

Mr. Summer was in the living room. "Why don't you two join me while we wait for your mother to bring the deserts?" he asked.

Melody nodded to Remus. Instead of going in, however, he went over to her. "So… how are we going to tell them?" he whispered, taking her hand.

"Tell them what?" she asked.

"That I'm… a werewolf," Remus replied. He was more comfortable with saying it out loud, but it still made him nervous. Melody stared at him. Remus gently kissed her hand.

Melody sighed and touched his cheek. "We'll just have to do it. Just sit down and tell them."

Remus swallowed hard. "They're your parents… how will they feel about that?"

"I don't know, but they've always wanted nothing than my happiness… and I only want you," she replied solemnly.

Remus felt his heart speed up at her honest declaration. "I love you," he said softly. Melody smiled and gave him a small kiss.

"Mel?" her father called. Remus could have sworn he heard the suspicion in his voice.

Remus looked at Melody nervously. "Coming, dad!" she said over her shoulder. "Should we tell them now?"

"Now's as good a time as any…" Remus said. "But…"

"I know… I'm nervous too," Melody whispered back, shivering slightly despite the warmth of the house.

"Deep breaths," he said softly. Melody laughed. She took his hand and squeezed it hard. "I'm the one who should be worried, Mel… I'm going up against your dad."

Melody laughed. "He won't hurt you… you've totally charmed them. Besides, they don't see the world in black and white… my dad is all about the gray. He changed his whole wardrobe once and wore nothing but gray until my mother made him stop." Remus chuckled.

"I doubt he'd hurt me… but the whole father protective instinct thing. Well, let's just say it's not a guy's best friend. At least not when he's standing on the receiving end of a curse."

Melody smiled and winced at the same time. She squeezed his hand again. "Love."

"Love," Remus whispered back. _That's why I'm doing this… risking my secret… risking my future. I'm doing this, Melody… and I'm doing it for you._


	38. Wishing, Waiting, and Welcoming

"Wow…" Sirius breathed. "You own this place, too?"

Rose smiled to herself. "Yeah. We've had it since I was three." She let the overwhelming memories of her beloved parents wash over her and even then she could feel their love for her in the beautiful Victorian house on the edge of the pulsing sea.

"Rose?" Sirius said softly. She gazed into his dark, smoldering eyes so full of concern and understanding and knew that he cared… that somehow, he knew exactly what she had been thinking.

"Let's go in and have dinner. Then we can explore the beach," she said, leading the way. _Only three more days… _

xoxox

Lily sat in the little paradise that James had created for her. She reached over and plucked up a gorgeous pink-tipped rose in full blossom. _Why am I so confused? What do I want? Why him?_

"Lily?"

She started and glanced up. "James," she whispered. Instead of the panic and confusion she had felt early, she found herself calm and strangely glad. Safe even.

"Lily, I don't want to pressure you…" he said slowly and sank down onto the lush grass beside her. Lily marveled at the wonders of magic. "I understand if you need time… at least I think I understand." He grinned at her, his hazel eyes twinkling.

Lily laughed in spite of herself. She caught her bottom lip between her teeth and frowned, puzzling over how to put into words the uncertainty in her heart. James reached out and gently touched her cheek. "It's okay, Lily. When you're ready…" He tucked a stray strand of ruby hair behind her ear and kissed her gently on the forehead. _Oh, James… do you really care? Or am I just a fool drowning in denial?_

xoxox

Melody stared at the stunned looks on her parents' faces. She had expected surprise, but in all the situations she had dreamed up, they had always been supportive and understanding. Now, in reality, she wasn't so sure.

Her father looked uneasily at her. "Melody, can we talk about this in private?" He practically choked out the last word. He avoided looking at Remus entirely. Melody knew what he was doing and anger flared up inside her.

"No," she replied coldly. She could sense Remus's resolve faltering. She took his hand and gripped it hard. "Anything you want to say, you say to both of us."

Her parents stared at her in strained silence. She felt Remus glance at her uncertainly. She refused to budge. Throughout her life, she had always been a good daughter. She'd listened to her parents and took their advice. _Not this time_.

"Melody, maybe it's best if I-" Remus said softly.

"No." Melody turned to him. She could see the discomfort in his eyes. She knew it was hard for him… how alone he felt. She knew it had been difficult for him almost all his life. _Not anymore, Remus. You have me._ She turned back to her parents. "This isn't your decision to make."

"Melody, think about what you're doing!" her father said angrily.

"I have."

Her mother gasped. "Melody, you can't throw away your life so rashly like this!"

Remus flinched. Melody could feel his pain, she shared it. Her parents might have forgotten that Remus was still a human… that she loved him, but she hadn't.

"Throw away my life? I'm not throwing away my life! I'm living it! And how dare you suggest otherwise!" she said menacingly. Her parents stared in shock. "I love him and I want to spend the rest of my life with him. This is my life and this is exactly what I want!"

"Melody," Remus said weakly.

"No!" she shouted. "Merlin knows how much I love you both, Mum, Dad, but how can you be such hypocrites? How can you be so much like those stupid blood worshippers? You've encouraged me to accept every single kind of person on this earth all my life. How can you even say that I'm throwing away my life? He's not just a werewolf! He's a human being… and I love him!"

She breathed heavily, tears prickling her eyes. Remus gently slipped his arm around her shoulders. She leaned into him, desperately holding back a sob. Remus kissed her hair softly.

Her father broke the silence. "Melody… sweetheart, we didn't mean it that way…"

"Then what did you mean by it?" she asked curtly.

"We… we just want the best for you," her mother replied tearfully.

"Mum, I'm almost of age. You have to let me decide what is best for me. Don't you want me to be happy?" she asked softly.

"Of course we do, love," her father said without hesitation.

"Then give us your blessings," Melody pleaded. "Remus makes me happy."

In the strained silence, her parents looked at each other and suddenly, her father's face broke out in a bittersweet smile. "We have to let her go someday, Maria," he said softly.

Her mother laughed weakly. "Strong willed."

"Just like you," her father said.

Maria turned to Melody. "If this is truly what you want, Melody, we stand behind you. You have our blessings."

Melody's heart soared. "Thank you, Mum. Thank you, Dad." She rushed forward and hugged them. Her father crushed her in his warm embrace.

Over her head, he said, "Take good care of my daughter, Remus."

"Thank you, sir," Remus replied.

"Welcome to the family, dear," Maria said, her voice trembling with emotion. Melody turned to Remus with a smile, her cheeks still wet with salty tears. He opened his arms and she stepped into the arms of her other half.


	39. This Isn't Love

Rose stared out at the tropical horizon, the ruby gleam of the setting sun in the dimming evening light. Break was ending. They would return to Hogwarts the next day and they were both trying to ignore the fact that by sunset the next day, they would no longer be together. Rose fingered the teardrop necklace Sirius had given her for Christmas. The sapphire gem glimmered, sparkling with the fading beauty of the light. She sensed Sirius close by, and suddenly, she was in his arms. Sirius held Rose close from behind. He kissed her soft hair and rested his chin on her slender shoulder.

"Hello," he murmured.

"Hi," Rose whispered with a soft smile. He gazed into her deep, dark blue eyes and smiled back. Rose turned back to the sunset before them. "Beautiful."

Sirius stared at her, lost in her angelic loveliness. "Yeah, beautiful," he echoed, keeping his gaze firmly on her.

Rose smiled at him weakly. Her smile melted and her expression turned serious. "Sirius, I know you don't want to talk about this… I don't either, but we can't just pretend it isn't happening." She had promised herself she wouldn't beg, but what could she do?

Sirius averted his gaze and looked out at the foamy waves. "What?"

"You know what I'm talking about," Rose replied wearily.

"Rose," Sirius began.

"When we go back to Hogwarts," she forged on, ignoring him.  
"Life will go back to the way it was," he said coldly, cutting in tersely. He saw the hurt in her eyes even as she turned quickly to hide it. Sirius felt a throbbing pain inside and prayed that it wasn't what he thought it was. _How could it be? _He hated himself for hurting her, but he had no choice but to push her away. He released her reluctantly and stepped away, putting some distance between them… as much as he could bear.

"So that's it, is it?" she asked bitterly.

Sirius clenched his jaw tightly and forced himself to swallow his immediate reaction. He wanted to hold her and tell her that what they shared was so much more than anything he had ever had. He wished more than anything that he could somehow make her understand that the short time they had shared together held more meaning than he would ever find for the rest of his life. He wanted to tell her that somehow, they could make this work… that he would give up everything to be with her…. Instead, Sirius looked away stubbornly and ignored his instincts. "Yeah, it is," he replied stonily, refusing to look at her, refusing to see her beautiful spirit shatter because of him.

Rose drew in a sharp breath and turned away from him. She stared into the sunset, blinking back tears. "Okay." Rose took a deep breath and began walking toward the house, but not before he caught her wounded expression and her broken eyes.

Suddenly, Sirius felt an urgent need to give her an explanation. "Rose!" he called out. She paused. Sirius found that he couldn't speak, not while looking into the most beautiful eyes he had ever seen.

"Why, Sirius?" she blurted out.

He swallowed past the lump in his throat. "I can't love, Rose," he said softly, his voice breaking. Somehow the reason sounded so weak and so wrong. Sirius tried to ignore the voice that taunted him, calling him a coward.

Rose laughed humorlessly. "What's that supposed to mean, Sirius?"

"I can't love. My own mother couldn't even love me… how can I love?" he asked in frustration. The little decision he had come to so long ago now seemed to have lost its meaning. What he swore never to reveal to another soul stood before him in all its ugliness, yet it seemed so insignificant.

Rose could only stare.

"All my life, I have never known love. I don't know how and I can't believe. Love doesn't exist." It didn't make sense. Sirius was having a hard time convincing even himself that love didn't exist. He tried to bury away the strange feeling that lived inside his heart, the warmth that was attuned to Rose and burned brightly only for her. He looked away quickly, but Rose saw the pain in his eyes.

She could suddenly understand what little explanation he had given her before along with his strange behavior. She understood then why he avoided talking about his past and why he was so broken. "How can you say that?" she whispered. He remained silent. "Sirius, look at me!"

He raised his dark brown eyes to her sapphire gaze. "Rose… if my own mother can't even love me, how do you expect me to even _believe_ in it?"

Rose felt her tears falling. "But it's here!" she said placing her hand gently over his heart. She took his hand and placed it over her heart. "Can't you feel it?"

Sirius stared at her. For endless moments, they stood, their hearts beating as one. He looked into her soulful eyes. _You deserve better than me, Rose. You deserve so much more. I would give you the world if I could, but the one thing I can't give you is my heart… because it's dead._ He forced himself to hold her imploring gaze. "No," he whispered. "I can't."

Rose gasped in pain and shock. She had been so terrified that he would pull away from her because of his own fear. She knew that he was so bruised from his childhood pains that it destroyed him to be open and trusting in such an intimate way. Love meant vulnerability… it meant a trust that went beyond the comprehension of the living world. Rose had known this, but she had hoped that her love for him would be strong enough; that he would love her enough to try. _Maybe he doesn't love me after all… maybe I'm just being stupid and vain and this was all just… a big mistake. Maybe it's not that he's not ready, but that what I thought… no, hoped we had never existed… maybe we were never meant to be._ Rose blinked furiously, but the treacherous tears slid down her cheeks; evidence that she had loved him beyond words. Rose pulled her hand back and forced herself to glance up at him. His handsome face was etched with something she could not read. What little time they had shared in happiness was all she would ever have of him and she tried to convince her dying soul that it would be enough to last her for the rest of her life because if she couldn't be with him, she knew that there would be no other to give her heart to; she had loved Sirius with everything she had and she could never love another quite the same way she loved him. Without thinking, without hesitation, she rose up and kissed him tenderly. She poured her soul and her heart into that kiss. Sirius wrapped his arms around her and held her close, kissing her back passionately. Rose vowed to remember this kiss forever because she knew that no matter where she went or what she did, getting over Sirius and trying to forget him would take more than a lifetime.


	40. A Bittersweet Epiphany

"Well, neither of them is dead..." James said slowly. "We should be thankful for that much… at least."

Lily snorted. "Thankful," she echoed dryly.

"Maybe we shouldn't have gone so far as to assume that she could take care of herself with him around," Melody said.

"Wait just a minute!" James interrupted. "That's not entirely fair!"

"Oh, do shut up," Melody replied scathingly.

Remus spoke up. "She can take care of herself just fine and she did." He paused at the three pairs of incredulous gazes boring into him. "It just didn't turn out quite the way we had hoped…" he said weakly.

"What's that stupid git's problem anyways?" Melody asked irritably. "Who in their right mind would choose… _that_," she spat and pointed at a cooing Rowana. "over Rose?"

They all looked over at the silent young woman sitting by the fireplace who was writing diligently.

"She looks so different," Lily said quietly.

"What did he do?" Melody asked softly.

"What do you reckon?" James asked. "Would she kill us if we meddle or would she be more hurt if we do nothing?"

Remus noted silently that they weren't the only ones staring at Rose.

"Sirius! Hello!" Rowena said, waving her hand in front of his face. He snapped out of his trance and looked down at her as if realizing that he wasn't alone. Remus shook his head in wonder, but couldn't help smiling a little. Maybe Sirius wasn't as heartless as he pretended to be.

xoxox

Rose looked up from her essay on the Unforgivable Curses… a little extra research assignment given to her for Defense Against the Dark Arts. The Professor hadn't been able to properly answer her question and both of them had been curious about the subject. So she had agreed to dig deeper into the world of Dark Arts in an attempt to understand how truly evil these three curses were. She had even gone to Dumbledore for an explanation and she had received more than she had bargained for.

"_You must understand, Rose that it takes great hate to be able to conjure up the power to inflict these curses on another living soul. No matter the circumstances, using these terrible curses require an enormous lack of humanity and feeling because they dehumanize us. They drain us of our ability to love and take away our compassion for those around us. The reason that those who train under the Dark Arts are so apathetic and even eager to take a life is because of their ready willingness to become less than human to reach what they believe is the ultimate height of power and magic. They believe that emotions destroy the capability to become great." Dumbledore looked so troubled and far away. _

"_But what about all the powerful people who are good? How do they explain them?" Rose asked._

_Dumbledore smiled. "They can't. They fear those people because they aren't afraid to feel and to love."_

"_Like you," Rose said softly._

_Dumbledore's eyes twinkled. "Lord Voldemort has always overlooked the fact that he will never be able to control us all. He thinks that fear will be our undoing. And that will lead to his downfall… because fear is what creates bravery and courage. Fear of failing, fear of losing. Fear is what defines us. Fear reveals heroes."_

_Rose smiled. "The Order."_

"_The Order." Dumbledore sighed. "The fight has carried on for longer than we hoped. It is getting increasingly difficult to amount even a small victory."_

"_But hope… that's a good emotion, too," Rose said quickly. _

"_And that, my dear girl, is where Voldemort has been blind-sighted."_

_Rose smiled, her heart filled with pride for all those who had chosen to fight against Voldemort and die, rather than complying with his wishes. "Will it be possible for me to join the Order?" she asked quietly._

_Dumbledore started. "But, Rose…"_

"_I want to follow in my parents' footsteps. They died to protect me and I want to do the same. I want to go out fighting… not sitting and waiting for them to come for me. I want to fight for the people that I love and for those who will come after…" she said. _

_Dumbledore sighed heavily. He looked at her in silence and smiled suddenly. "I suppose it would be rather foolish for me to fight you on this one." She could see the concern and worry in his eyes and maybe even a small flash of fear._

"_Yes, it rather would." Rose grinned. "People always said I was stubborn. Got the best of both my parents."_

"_Well… we did consider sending someone to Bulgaria to help out and recruit new members," Dumbledore said thoughtfully. "It'll be dangerous and you would have to leave before the school year ends."_

_Rose took a deep breath. "That's something I'm more than willing to sacrifice."_

"_Nonetheless, Rose, think about this a while longer. Things and circumstances change. _People_ change," he said meaningfully, and Rose had a feeling he somehow knew about her problems with Sirius. _

"_I know." _

Rose sighed. She was more than willing to go to Bulgaria. She had always wanted to visit and this was her opportunity to join the battle against the forces of Voldemort. She glanced quickly over at her friends, not surprised to see them studying her as if she were a dying unicorn. She flashed them her best smile and gathered up her stuff. Yes, it was time for a change. It was her turn to make a difference.


	41. Freefall into the Unknown

"She says that she's fine… and this time, she actually looks like she's telling the truth," Melody said with a slight shrug.

"Maybe she's just gotten better at lying," Lily quipped.

"She's always been very good at it." Melody nodded thoughtfully.

"But did she look… well, broken up?" Lily asked.

"Nope. I think she's gotten over the whole emotional period," Melody said thoughtfully, flicking her wand. "Her vulnerability's gone. The only reason she even cried in front of all of us those few times is because she had just lost…" Melody trailed off and froze.

Lily stared at the red-and-white orchids in front of her. Neither of them wanted to say it because it was almost as hard for them to remember as it was for Rose.

Melody took a deep, unsteady breath. "Well, I think she wants us to stop worrying."

"It's probably for the best," Lily said softly. "The last thing she needs is for us to treat her as if she's going to break, looking at her with pity and sympathy. The rest of this school is doing enough of that to last her a lifetime."

Melody laughed humorlessly. "Play along?"

Lily nodded. "She's always been stronger than we ever gave her credit for. And if she does need us, we'll always be just right here."

"Well said."

Lily and Melody turned to see James standing behind them. He smiled a little. "Can I talk to you, Lily?"

Lily felt her mouth go dry and it wasn't just because he was smiling i_that/i _smile. She had a feeling what he was going to say… or ask. She wondered what would happen if she just sat there, but didn't get a chance to find out. Melody prodded her back.

"I'll just leave you two to it. I've got to go meet Remus. Later!" she said cheerily and pranced off.

i_Traitor_/i, Lily thought. She stared at the floor for a few seconds, and then the wall, all the while feeling his gaze bore into her. He sat down beside her slowly, close enough so that it made her want to squirm. She could feel his heat and her heart sped up. She took a deep, steadying breath and sneaked a glance up at him only to find him watching her. He grinned slightly and she felt her face heating up, practically radiating warmth. Not for the first time, she cursed herself for being a redhead.

James inhaled deeply and opened his mouth, only to close it again. And suddenly, Lily realized that he was just as nervous as she. Strangely, it reassured her. "I know I said you could have time to think about things, but I want us to do some things together," he said softly.

Lily glanced up at him sharply. "What kinds of things?"

James blushed, suddenly understanding why she was on her guard. "Normal getting-to-know-each-other-better things…" At her confused expression, he said, "Go on a date… out for a picnic, to Hogsmeade. That kind of thing." He leaned over slightly and rested his elbows on his knees.

Lily stared at him in bewildered silence. He looked embarrassed and so endearing, she couldn't help but smile. Lily laughed a little. "I never pegged you for a romantic, James."

His hazel eyes locked on hers and her breath caught. He grinned sheepishly. "Well, I never was… I just thought that maybe it'd be something you'd like to do… with me." He voiced the last word tentatively, almost as if he was unsure whether he equated into the situation. If possible, it made Lily even more elated. The change in James was amazing. Gone was the big, macho cockiness. Here, in its place was an almost shy sweetness. And she didn't know whether to believe it and go along with what her heart so wanted, or protect herself. She thought back suddenly to break… to that moment when she had been surrounded by those sweet blossoms, feeling as though the world really did revolve around her for those few minutes. Thinking back to the way his eyes lighted up, the genuine delight in his face from bringing her so much joy. Taking a deep breath, Lily swallowed her doubts and flashed him her best grin.

"What did you have in mind?" she asked with a dancing lightness in her soul and a furiously thumping heart, her own mind thrilled on some unseen high.

xoxox

"Ugh. I am such an idiot," he groaned, throwing his arm over his eyes. "A complete and utter fool. Just kill me now and spare me the embarrassment," he begged.

Lily laughed and he realized that he loved the soft, full sound. "Oh, James," she said affectionately. "It's not that bad."

"Really?" He peeked out at her hopefully from under his arm. Her face was a lovely shade of red from suppressed laughter. He groaned again and covered his face once more. "I'm a failure. That's it. I'm done. I quit."

She chuckled warmly. "James, it's alright. Really. Now come on." She pushed at his arm. "James."

He let her shove his arm away from his face, but he squeezed his eyes shut, refusing to look at her.

"James!" she laughed.

He felt her hands on his face… her deft fingers trying to pry his right eye open. He smiled inwardly.

"Stop it, James." There was no irritation in her voice; only a lazy playfulness and an innocent sort of glee in their game. "It's fine, James. I don't hold it against you and I certainly don't need you to hide yourself away from humanity for all of eternity… I had a lovely time."

"Really?" He opened one eye to look at her.

"Really." She smiled.

He heaved a mock sigh. "But I'd really feel much better if you'd just let me punish myself. I screwed up royally."

Lily grinned at him. "Although that's a rather sweet notion, I'm going to have to forbid you to punish yourself in any way."

"But Lily!" he whined.

"But nothing, James. If you were to hurt yourself, how would you pay up? You still owe me another date. Preferably one without this many accidents," she said, furrowing her brow. She surveyed the mess he'd managed to create in less than fifteen minutes and gazed down at him in amusement.

"You'd really come out with me again?" he asked, widening his eyes, knowing full well that it made him look like a puppy.

She rolled her eyes, but he caught her smile. "You owe me," she replied simply with a small shrug, her emerald eyes dancing with delight.

He was sure he looked like a right fool with a grin wide enough to split his face, but he couldn't help it.

Just as he was about to say something embarrassingly cheesy, one of the horses walked past, dragging an upturned chair with the rope dangled around its leg. A chicken covered in honey and flower petals glared at them indignantly as it was pulled along by the tail due to the fact that it was stuck in the chair.

Lily stared at James for a moment, her face completely devoid of emotion. Then, to his eternal delight, she burst out laughing and didn't stop for a very long time, all the while leaning into his shoulder. And not for the first time that night, he wondered if Antarctica could see his smile as she held onto him tightly and buried her beautiful smiling face in his shoulder while he hugged her back.


	42. Leaving

He had told her that he didn't believe in love, that he couldn't because his own mother couldn't even show him affection, yet every time she saw him, he was with Rowena, looking at her with a glazed over, lovesick expression on his face… or maybe, Rose reasoned, it was her own denial kicking in, because as much as she hated to admit the truth, she was still very much in love with him.

The months passed by slowly for Rose. Her two best friends had found love. She envied them and wished that she had no heart. She hated seeing Sirius and took every precaution to avoid him. This meant spending a lot of time alone because he still manned the crowds, but she told herself that didn't care. She had been alone since the day she lost her family. And although her friends were there for her, they just didn't fully understand.

Lily had tried to set her up with a variety of blokes who were more than happy to be her boyfriend, but Rose just couldn't do it. Melody had suggested going on couple of dates to make Sirius jealous, but Rose discarded that idea quickly because she didn't want to use any of the guys who genuinely liked her. She couldn't handle another emotional disaster.

Rose found that her final year at Hogwarts was finally drawing to a close. She had already made up her mind about her future. She would not be an Auror for the Ministry like her parents, but she would join the Order and dedicate her life in the fight against Voldemort… just as her parents had done. It was a path she would have chosen even if they had not been murdered. She had already discussed it with her godfather again and although Dumbledore was worried, he stood by her decision. She would leave Hogwarts in less than a week for Bulgaria to recruit people to challenge Voldemort and his followers.

Rose studied hard, practicing complex spells, mixing impossible potions, and pushing herself further than she had ever gone. She needed the relentless work… the long hours and secret lessons from all the professors who had all volunteered to help her learn even if she would not be finishing her education at Hogwarts. She needed this focus so she could remember the parents she had loved and lost and forget the man she had loved and lost.


	43. Those Sweet, Sweet Words

Sirius found himself on the ground. _Definitely not the best way to kill time._

He silently cursed Snape but knew that there was bound to be one time when the blasted, oily-haired weasel got the best of him. Rowena wasn't much help either. She was kneeling by his side, going slightly nuts.

"Sirius, are you okay? Sirius!" She was looking down at him, losing her head.

"You filthy SLIMEBALL!" a familiar voice shouted. There was a flash of blinding light and Snape was blasted off his feet. He flew up ten feet in the air and landed with a dull thud, unmoving.

Rose came over as Rowena went completely mad and started to cry. "Rowena, get up," she said in a soft, bored voice, rolling her eyes.

Rowena didn't listen. Instead, she grabbed Sirius by the shoulders and hugged him tight. Her knee came in contact with his leg, where Snape had managed to start a whole ring of burns, and he almost passed out from the excruciating pain. "Rowena, get up off me," he commanded through clenched teeth. She looked at him in hurt and surprise, but back off immediately.

He closed his eyes against the throbbing in his legs. He felt a pair of gentle hands pulling him up slightly and he opened his eyes. He was looking into a pair of beautiful, soulful eyes, the most beautiful eyes he'd ever seen… the sapphire eyes of Rose Larkspur.

"Do your legs hurt?" she asked, gently touching his face. He nodded, speechless. "Can you walk?" He shook his head. She sighed. "Thought as much."

In a second, she conjured a stretcher and levitated him onto it. She walked beside him up to the school.

Madam Pomfrey tended to him and put up the curtains at his request. And against all reason, he asked for Rose instead of Rowena.

xoxox

Rose looked at Sirius and felt her heart race.

She still loved him.

He smiled at her and gestured for her to sit down. She took a seat beside the bed. He reached up gently and touched her cheek.

"Rose," he whispered. A thousand meanings in that one word.

"Yes?" She tried to ignore her throbbing heart, shattering anew. She knew what she had to do.

"Nothing. I just like saying your name," he replied with a grin. He took her hand and held it, his thumb stroking across her knuckles. "You've been avoiding me. I can swear that we haven't talked to each other since break…" he said slowly, watching her eyes. "I hurt you."

Rose laughed softly. Without thinking, she brushed the hair that always seemed to hang there out of his eyes with her left hand. Looking into those chocolate pools that were his eyes, she felt her heart breaking all over again. She leaned forward and kissed him passionately.

When she pulled away, he breathed, "Wow… what was that for?" He looked slightly dazed.

"I wanted to remember you, even if you did break my heart. Besides, I think you owed me that kiss." She smiled sadly down at him. She had long gotten over her bitterness.

"What do you mean, _remember_?" he inquired with a frown.

"I don't think we'll meet again, Sirius." She brushed a finger across his lips. "At least not in this lifetime."

His eyes widened and he tightened his grip on her as he got the full meaning of her words. "No, Rose. Don't. You can't. Rose," he pleaded. His eyes locked with hers. "Don't do this."

Rose looked down at him and found her vision blurred with tears. "Sirius, I can't stay here!" she shouted angrily.

"Yes. You. Can!" He wiped away her tears with a soft, lingering touch and her determination faltered. She had hoped a hasty goodbye with a kiss to remember would be enough, but her resolve shattered. She loved him too much.

"Sirius, I promised myself I wouldn't beg," she whispered. "But will you hold me?" Her voice broke.

He pulled her into his arms without hesitation and squeezed her tight. She trembled as she felt his incredible warmth. She was home. In his arms, that was where she belonged. It felt so right. She fit against him perfectly, just as she remembered. Rose snuggled closer and let her eyes fall shut.

"I love you, Sirius," she murmured into his chest. She laid her head over his heart.

"I love you, too, Rose," he whispered back. With those five words, he held possession of every part of her being.


	44. Truth of Heart

As he had lain in the hospital wing bed, Sirius had realized something profound. All those months when he had been with Rowena, he had secretly been wishing that it was Rose that he held and kissed, rose that he spent Hogsmeade weekends with, Rose whose beautiful blue eyes he could lose himself in.

Whenever Rose was around, he'd forget about anything and everything else. He had developed a sixth atoned to her. He knew when she was nearby and he could feel her everywhere, even though she avoided him. Whenever she was around, he'd stare at her with what he knew to be a slightly disgusting, lovesick expression on his face, and so he made himself turn towards Rowena instead… but even when he was staring at Rowena, he saw Rose. And he began to wonder if maybe, he had made a terrible mistake.

As he lay there, he knew he could deny it no longer. He was absolutely, head-over-heels in love with Rose. It felt so right, so good to finally admit to himself what his heart had known all along.

_To be continued…_


	45. Loving Her

"It was the screaming," Rose countered.

"No, it wasn't," Sirius replied, shaking his head to accentuate his point.

"Yes it was." Rose jabbed him in the chest.

"Hey! Watch it! I'm a healing patient!" He pouted. "And it wasn't the screaming."

Rose raised her eyebrows. "Then what was it, Mr. I'm-Right-and-You're-Wrong?"

Sirius grinned manically, shooting her a smug look as though he had been dying to answer that question. "The toppling of the curtains," he replied simply.

Rose snorted. "She was already in the room by that point."

"No she wasn't!" Sirius retorted with a hurt look.

Rose laughed.

"Was she?"

"Does it matter? You managed to turn a completely controllable case of emotional-breakdown-tantrum-thingy into a complete and utter disaster," Rose said, looking at him in knowing disbelief. "I admire you, Sirius. I really do."

"Thank you," he sniffed.

"What happened now?" James asked, throwing himself in a nearby armchair. "Hey Sirius." He grinned at both of them.

Lily stared at Sirius intensely as though trying to burn a hole through his head. She looked at Rose for a moment and cautiously sat down on the floor, leaning back against James's legs. James looked at the back of her head affectionately.

"Yeah, what happened? What's this disaster?" Lily asked. "And where's Rowena?"

Sirius looked at Rose quickly for support.

"What are you looking at me for?" Rose laughed. "It was only a matter of time before someone asked."

"Yes, well. You could be a little helpful," he pointed out.

Rose seemed to find this hilarious and laughed at the pout on his face. "You got yourself into this mess! And you should have known better than to use another girl like that… especially a Russian girl. They're a fierce lot. Brave and all that. You should have known that sooner or later, things would end messily."

"Yes, well I was hoping that it wouldn't involve you, me, and three other teachers," Sirius muttered.

James cackled madly. "What's this then? Sirius has broken the record for Worst Break-Up Spat! Oh, wait 'till Remus hears about this! I told him it would be you, Padfoot!" He slapped the armchair in glee.

"You two finally together?" Lily grinned at Rose and turned her bemused gaze on Sirius. "Go on, then. Spill."

Sirius heaved a sigh, but there was no mistaking the twinkle in his eyes. He curled his fingers around Rose's slender hand and grinned. "Well… if you really want to know…"

James rolled his eyes. "Spare us the dramatics."

"If you share your disaster, we'll share ours," Lily volunteered.

"Hey!" James sputtered. "You said it was a 'lovely evening'!"

Lily chuckled. "That doesn't mean it wasn't a complete disaster as well!"

"First date?" Sirius asked knowingly.

"Don't remind me," James muttered.

"Well?" Lily prompted.

Sirius quickly told them how he had finally, _finally_ confessed his love for Rose when… "We were just innocently kissing and out of nowhere, the curtains are ripped back… and I mean literally. Ripped. Back. And we both kind of sprang apart and she was just standing there." Sirius shuddered dramatically and Rose smothered a snicker. "Rowena was seething. Her eyes were, like, red. She let out this scream and she started cursing in Russian… at least I think it was Russian."

"It was Russian." Rose nodded. "And then, genius here decided to be all, 'Rowena! There you are! I was looking for you!' in this weird, high-pitched, strangled sort of voice."

Lily sniggered. "What'd Rowena have to say about that?"

"Her voice was really high, but I think it was something like 'What? In her mouth?!'" Rose replied.

Sirius ignored her and continued as if Rose hadn't spoken. "And she whipped out her wand and started jabbing and waving it around like a madwoman, pointing it at Rose and then at me. All the while, she's screaming her head off about Merlin knows what," Sirius said with wide eyes. "We were trying to calm her down, but she was practically spitting fire. It was a good thing she was so mad…" At James's confused look, Sirius explained. "She can't aim well when she's mad."

"Ah," Lily breathed.

"I almost got hit by one of the sparks. No idea what it was, though she looked even more furious that it had missed me, so I'm guessing it couldn't have been anything good." Sirius nodded to himself. "By then, the curtains had toppled over and most of the paintings were in a right panic, screaming, shouting… and of course that's when Madam Pomfrey, McGonagall, and Slughorn all came rushing in."

"Yeah, it was… interesting," Rose finished mildly. "Anything but dull, eh, Sirius?" She nudged him in the side where she knew he was ticklish… having discovered that for herself when they'd been cuddling just moments before Lily and James had showed up. Sirius let out a bark of a laugh and coughed loudly to cover it up.

James smirked at him and Lily didn't bother hiding her laugh.

"So what happened to Rowena?"

"Oh, they had to subdue her… she's with Madam Pomfrey right now," Rose replied. She looked down at her robes sadly. "I think she really hates me."

"No she doesn't," Sirius assured her. He looked up at James. "So what were you saying about a disaster?" He gave Rose's hand a small squeeze and smiled at her.

"Well…" Lily began. "It all involves good intentions, crazy fireworks, four horses, a pot of honey, some chairs, a chicken, a mountain of flower petals, and James… singing."

"Singing?" Rose choked out.

"I'll have you know I'm a fantastic singer!" James huffed indignantly.

Sirius felt his eye twitch a little before he promptly burst into peals of irrepressible laughter. "Chick…en… James… singing… ha…"

James glared at him and pointedly harrumphed.

And for the first time in a long time, Sirius felt truly at home. Especially when he felt Rose leaning into his shoulder, lost in her own laughter.


	46. Kissing Threats

Although she was happier than she had been in months, Rose couldn't stop feeling guilty. She loved Sirius, but the pain in Rowena's eyes overshadowed everything. Just a few days ago, that had been _her_! She knew what it was like to love someone who didn't love her back, but she knew it was all the worse for Rowena because Sirius had just used her. And no matter what nasty thoughts had been inside her head when Rowena was with Sirius, Rose knew that Rowena was a great person, and under different circumstances, maybe they could've been friends. She didn't deserve any of this.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

He pulled her gently into his arms, surrounding her with sudden warmth. She closed her eyes with a small, soft sigh. "Love you," he whispered, dropping a tender kiss on her temple.

"Love you, too," she whispered back, snuggling closer. She couldn't help thinking about how good he smelled. A rather strong breeze whipped around them and Rose shivered. "Sirius, there has _got_ to be better meeting places than this in the middle of January! I'm cold," she complained with a pout.

He laughed, the sound a deep rumble that was strangely comforting. He looked down at her, his dark eyes twinkling. "You're cute when you pout, you know that?" He kissed the tip of her nose.

She smiled at him cheekily, as if to say, but of course! "I'm serious though. It's freezing out here."

He squeezed her tight. "Better?"

"Hmm… mildly."

He ducked down and kissed her lightly.

"How's that?"

"Nice, but I'm still cold."

"But it's no fun inside. With the fire and everything," he said unconvincingly.

Rose gazed at him sternly. "You mean with Rowena, who has become an emotional mess. She mopes around all day in that corner!" She glanced at him accusingly.

"What?!" he asked indignantly.

"This is your fault, you realize." Rose jabbed him in the chest, forgetting the chill momentarily.

"My fault?" he exclaimed.

"Shh!" she shushed, and glancing around once, glared at him, daring him to argue otherwise.

"It's not my fault!" he protested, ignoring her look even though it did make him slightly nervous.

Rose merely raised an eyebrow.

"Okay, fine, maybe it is. A little," he said.

"A little," she repeated tonelessly.

"Okay, maybe more than a little."

"Sirius!"

"Well, what do you want me to say? It's not my fault girls fancy me so much!" he said as though pointing out the obvious.

"No, of course it isn't," Rose retorted sarcastically.

He squirmed under her penetrating gaze. Why was she the only one who could intimidate him? He suspected that even faced against Voldemort, he would not feel this… scared.

"Well it isn't!"

Rose sighed deeply. "Sirius. I don't want to talk about whose fault it is or isn't."

"Thank you," he said, deeply relieved and just a bit apprehensive about what would come out of that lovely mouth of hers next. He decided that he didn't want to find out. He leaned down. The temptation really was too much.

"Sirius."

He stopped and frowned, putting on his best innocent, puppy-dog face. "What?"

"I don't want to talk about whose fault it is because I want to talk about how _you_ are going to fix it," she responded, her look having almost the same affect as if she had just jabbed him again.

"But Rose!" he whined.

"No buts allowed!" she replied.

"Ha! That's funny!" he laughed. "You said no butts allowed!" He laughed loudly, desperately trying to ignore the way she shook her head and rolled her eyes.

"Fine, don't be serious."

"But I am Sirius!" he replied. He grinned at her widely, hoping that somehow she would just drop the subject. She stared at him blandly.

He wondered just how long they were going to stay there like that, staring at each other. He was just about to suggest getting some blankets and maybe setting up a tent, just in case she wanted to stay like that forever.

"You know what? I have a fantastic idea!" she suddenly said, her smile bright.

He had a feeling it would be anything _but_ fantastic. Sirius gazed into her beautiful blue eyes, unable to read the emotion there.

"How's this? You and me don't meet again, _ever_. Until you fix what you've broken!" Rose said firmly, her voice dangerously low.

"Rose! What?" he said frantically.

"I love you, Sirius, even though you're such a _guy_, you stupid blockhead, but I can't do this. I would fix it if I could, but I can't," she replied. She kissed him deeply. "In case you're wondering what that was for, it was goodbye. At least for now. Because I know you're going to put this off, and I'm being serious. I won't even _talk _to you until you fix it!" she told him stubbornly, and pushed out of his arms. Without a backward glance, she stalked off.

Sirius stared at her, half-dazed from that amazing kiss, and half-stunned by what she said. _Great. Bloody fantastic. _


	47. Being Pretty

"I'm thinking murder."

Lily snorted.

"What?" Rose asked indignantly.

"It can't be that bad, Rose," Melody argued with a laugh.

Rose looked at her incredulously. "Have you _seen_ the way she glowers at me? It's like she's trying to burn a hole through my head. I can feel her staring at me all the time. It's really starting to scare me."

Lily jabbed the tadpole they were supposed to be Transfiguring into sharks. "Oops."

"Miss Evans!" McGonagall admonished. "Really, I'd rather your shark eat a tadpole than to have you poke them all to death. Please try and restrain your excitement and keep your wand at least a centimeter away from the tadpoles."

"Sorry, professor," Lily replied sheepishly, her face glowing.

"You're really doing what you said you would, aren't you?" Melody asked as her tadpole swelled and turned into a small baby shark.

"Ten points to Griffindor, Miss Summers!"

Melody beamed at Lily's sour face.

"Good one, Mel," Rose congratulated. "And what are you talking about?"

"Sirius. He looks absolutely, bloody miserable!" Melody laughed, pointing toward Sirius, who was frowning despairingly as James and Remus tried to cheer him up.

"What's wrong with Sirius? What happened?" Peter asked shrilly from his place beside Remus.

Melody laughed gleefully. "I'm so bloody proud of you, Rose. Only a week and you've already got him looking completely and utterly depressed and pathetic from being away from you for less than twelve hours."

Lily's tadpole transformed into a gigantic shark, wriggling menacingly on the desk. The three girls from Hufflepuff sitting in front of them leapt out of their seats shrieking. Lily snickered under her breath and shrunk the shark.

"Ten points to Griffindor! But do try to keep it on the small side next time, Miss Evans."

Rose and Melody laughed, and Lily grinned at James who could only stare at her in admiration.

Rose caught Sirius's eyes for a second and almost smiled at him before realizing that he still hadn't made good on his side of the (unagreed) bargain. She turned away quickly, missing his look of utter frustration.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

"It's not fair!" Sirius moaned.

"What's not fair?" James asked, his eyes glued on a giggling Lily across the lake.

"I'm here, suffering. How come she gets to be all happy and laughing and smart and beautiful and so nice smelling and pretty…" He covered his face. "ARGH! I miss Rose! I want a hug!"

Remus snorted and quickly covered it up with a cough, still pretending to be engrossed in his book which was upside-down.

"Moony, mate. Are you practicing reading that way for the upside-down tournament?" Sirius asked with a sneer.

Remus looked down at his book in surprise and flushed only slightly. "Actually, now that you mention it…"

Peter looked up with interest. "There's an upside-down tournament?"

Sirius stared at him in disgust.

James chuckled.

"What are _you_ laughing about?" Sirius snapped.

James only laughed harder.

"I don't get it! You can compete for reading upside-down?" Peter asked.

"Yes, Wormtail, of course. And they also let you compete for a thousand galleons. Loads of witches and wizards train their whole lives for it," Sirius replied.

Peter's eyes grew round. "Really?"

James laughed so hard, he started coughing and fell over.

Sirius groaned and fell back against the grass. _It's not fair_, he thought as he heard the sound of her laughter on the other side of the lake.


	48. Rose Shoes

"Padfoot, just do it already and stop mopping around," Remus said in exasperation as Sirius moaned again from his limp position on the floor.

"Easy for you to say. You've got Melody and you're all sickeningly happy," Sirius replied, his voice muffled due to the fact that he was lying face down.

James rolled his eyes from where he sat with his Potions essay. "People walk on that, you know."

Sirius thought about it for a moment and delicately turned his head so that his mouth wasn't touching the ground.

"It can't be all that bad… can it?" Peter wondered, still struggling with his Charms homework.

Sirius threw him a disgusted look. "Are you joking? Have you _seen_ Rowena? She glowers at Rose all day long. And when she looks at me, it's obvious she's castrating me in her mind."

James burst out laughing, and Remus snorted a little, but at least had the decency to attempt to cover it up with a delicate cough. Peter backed away from Sirius slightly, even though he was already sitting about five feet away.

"It's not _funny_!" Sirius insisted as his best mates chortled at his misery.

"Padfoot, you're going to have to own up to what you did sooner or later," Remus pointed out.

_Damn him and his reasoning. _"Why can't I just wait until my deathbed to do it?"

"You could if you wanted to be apart from Rose for that long," Remus commented with a thoughtful nod. "Well I guess that solves all your problems."

Sirius grabbed the nearest thing he could reach –his shoe– and threw it at Remus's smiling face.

_Bugger. _His shoe landed with a thump behind Remus. He began reaching for his other shoe until he remembered that he had already tried to throw that at James for trying to goad him into "doing the right thing."

So now he was shoeless and Rose-less and a castrated man in someone's eyes. _Great._

"Pads, just go and talk to her. Tell her you're sorry," James said tiredly. "Stop mopping about. You're ruining the Marauder's good name."

Sirius pouted and ignored him. "I want my shoes back."

"Then get up and go get them!" James ground out, just barely managing to suppress his exasperation.

"You get them."

James growled under his breath.

"Prongs, did you just _growl_ at Sirius?" Remus inquired, biting back a wolfish smile.

James looked down at his feet. "No," he muttered.

"I want shoes."

Peter got up from where he was sitting, a horrified look on his face.

"Wormtail, sit down," James commanded.

"But… but… _Sirius_," Peter said meaningfully, his eyes wide.

They all watched as Sirius suddenly began to murmur to himself, making his fingers walk in front of his face.

"Uh… Pads?" James said tentatively, edging away from Sirius and leaning forward a bit all at the same time.

"I want Rose."

The murmuring continued.

They caught words like "death" and "friends" and "strangle" and "poison." This time, Peter jumped up from his seat and made a break for the stairs to the dormitories.

Remus and James didn't try to stop him.

"I want Rose shoes," Sirius announced.

"That's very nice, Sirius," Remus replied, not quite sure if he should get closer to see if Sirius was okay or run away with a girlish scream. He decided that as a friend, it was his moral duty to see if his best mate had lost his mind. If he got killed in the process, at least he would be seen as some kind of hero.

He threw James a brave look and cautiously approached the seventeen-year-old lying on his stomach.

When he was just a foot away, Sirius suddenly raised his wand and Remus froze.

James hissed, "Run for it, Moony!"

Remus ducked, from what he didn't know. A second later, he got up, feeling glad that he'd been so paranoid.

Sirius's shoes zoomed past his face.

James deemed it safe to approach. Before he could get within three feet of Sirius, he and Remus both froze at the triumphant look in Sirius's wild eyes.

"Accio Rose!" he shouted.

"Can he… do that?" James asked, an alarmed look crossing his features.

"I don't know," Remus replied, thinking, _please no._

Their answer came in a matter of minutes.

Apparently, magic didn't really differentiate between objects and people if they had the same name.

James rolled his eyes as Sirius pouted up at them, nursing his wounded, rose prickled hand, muttering death threats to the innocent, red rose laying by his face.


End file.
